“I don’t suggest an IV during labor but encourage eating and drinking.”  -Midwife to mother.

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“You’re my role model!” -CNM to first time VBAC mom who was struggling during transition at a posterior presentation birth. CNM was also 9 months pregnant and planning her first VBAC.

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“If this baby was any bigger you would need a cesarean.” -OB said said after mother delivered a  6 lb 12 oz baby.  16 months later she birthed a 7 lb 15 oz baby totally drug free.

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“Well, you came to the hospital to make sure you’d have this kind of thing available, so why don’t you just go ahead and make use of it? Why else would you be here?” – CNM trying to convince a mother to have an internal fetal monitor placed  because the mom’s movements during labor were shifting the external monitor sensors. Baby was born less than 30 minutes after mom refused the internal monitor.

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“Gravity doesn’t help with birth because if it did, babies would be falling out everywhere.” -OB to mother.

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“Well she may not have a penis, but she has a real nice place to put one.”  -OB to a father who was upset that the baby was a girl.

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“I don’t want to scare you but you might as well get an epidural since you will need one when you end up having your cesarean.”  L&D Nurse to a first time mom, 2 hours into a 4 hour start to finish labor. Cesarean was not needed.

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“It won’t make you sleepy, it’ll just make the pain go away. It’s just like Tylenol.” -CNM to mother when she asked what the side effects of Nubain where.

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“We have to make sure the baby is safe.”-Ultrasound technician while asking the husband to leave the room with their toddler, when he got fussy during the 20 week ultrasound.

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‘There are two reasons for having a repeat cesarean, number one, is that you have already preserved your pelvic floor, incontinence can be a real big issue when you are 60. ” -OB to VBAC mother during a consultation.  The number two reason was uterine rupture.

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