“Well, you came to the hospital to make sure you’d have this kind of thing available, so why don’t you just go ahead and make use of it? Why else would you be here?” – CNM trying to convince a mother to have an internal fetal monitor placed  because the mom’s movements during labor were shifting the external monitor sensors. Baby was born less than 30 minutes after mom refused the internal monitor.

50 people dislike these words.

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“Gravity doesn’t help with birth because if it did, babies would be falling out everywhere.” -OB to mother.

117 people dislike these words.

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“Well she may not have a penis, but she has a real nice place to put one.”  -OB to a father who was upset that the baby was a girl.

275 people dislike these words.

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“I don’t want to scare you but you might as well get an epidural since you will need one when you end up having your cesarean.”  L&D Nurse to a first time mom, 2 hours into a 4 hour start to finish labor. Cesarean was not needed.

84 people dislike these words.

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“It won’t make you sleepy, it’ll just make the pain go away. It’s just like Tylenol.” -CNM to mother when she asked what the side effects of Nubain where.

63 people dislike these words.

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“We have to make sure the baby is safe.”-Ultrasound technician while asking the husband to leave the room with their toddler, when he got fussy during the 20 week ultrasound.

63 people dislike these words.

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‘There are two reasons for having a repeat cesarean, number one, is that you have already preserved your pelvic floor, incontinence can be a real big issue when you are 60. ” -OB to VBAC mother during a consultation.  The number two reason was uterine rupture.

55 people dislike these words.

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“You’re nursing too much; you’ll get nipple breakdown” -Postpartum Nurse to new mother after birth.

90 people dislike these words.

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“You have a small mouth and a tight jaw, so your cervix is also tight and will have a hard time opening.” -Midwife predicting to mother during an interview for a midwife, that the mother would have a long and difficult labor.

63 people dislike these words.

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“She doesn’t deserve a medal. She deserves a stamp on her forehead that says ‘I’m an idiot!’” – OB to nurses at nurses station, regarding a woman who had labored ‘too long.’

This was said  in response to the birthing woman’s mother (who said her daughter deserved a medal) AFTER the woman’s mother was out of earshot.

80 people dislike these words.

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