Sep 262009
 

“It cannot be twins as you did not do fertility treatments.” -OB to mom at 15 week appointment after mom was measuring large and told OB she suspected twins. PS: Twins!

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 September 26, 2009  OB 5 Responses »
Sep 252009
 

“If your son does not eat within six hours of birth, we will have to call Child Protective Services.”-Postpartum Nurse to new mom struggling with breastfeeding, one hour after birth.

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 September 25, 2009  breastfeeding, L&D Nurse 21 Responses »
Sep 252009
 

“You need to shower three times a day to avoid infection, and also shower every time you poop… you should shower every time you poop anyway for good hygiene as a woman.”-CNM to mother postpartum.

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 September 25, 2009  CNM 9 Responses »
Sep 242009
 

“Do you know who the father is or was this a one night thing?”-OB to young mom during her first OB appointment.

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 September 24, 2009  Age, OB 21 Responses »
Sep 242009
 

“Well, when your daughter goes to kindergarten, we want her to be riding the long bus, don’t we?” -Midwife to client recommending a Cesarean to a mom “stuck” at 8 cm.

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 September 24, 2009  Cesarean, CNM, labor, Midwife 13 Responses »
Sep 232009
 

“Are you a smoker? You push like one. If you can’t hold your breathe longer, we’re going to be here all day.” -L&D nurse after mom pushes twice.

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 September 23, 2009  L&D Nurse, pushing 2 Responses »
Sep 232009
 

“Now I’m just stirring the pot a little” -CNM in a freestanding birth center, while performing an unauthorized membrane stripping, during a reluctantly-agreed-upon vaginal check at 40 weeks.

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 September 23, 2009  CNM, Midwife 4 Responses »
Sep 222009
 

“Delivering en caul has no benefits to either mother or baby, and its pretty icky to look at! The baby looks like something out of Alien! So, I always artificially rupture the membranes (AROM) if they have not broken on their own.” – CNM in a hospital

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 September 22, 2009  AROM, CNM, Midwife 15 Responses »
Sep 222009
 

“Stop making noises! If you’re making noises, you’re not pushing!” -OB to unmedicated mom vocalizing during pushing stage.

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 September 22, 2009  OB, pushing 11 Responses »
Sep 212009
 

“Stop pushing! Don’t let that baby come out!” -L&D Nurse to mom, after having the mom push to crowning before calling the OB for delivery.

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 September 21, 2009  L&D Nurse, OB, pushing 6 Responses »