Oct 012009
 

“No, you can not squat. I need my visual. On your back is best for me.” -OB

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 October 1, 2009  OB, pushing 10 Responses »
Sep 302009
 

“Well, you certainly have the equipment for it!” -OB to large breasted patient, when she told him she was planning to breastfeed.

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 September 30, 2009  breastfeeding, OB 4 Responses »
Sep 302009
 

“You know you like pain, don’t you?” -CNM to client during vaginal exam.

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 September 30, 2009  CNM 5 Responses »
Sep 292009
 

“What are you drinking?” CNM to client calling in with regular contractions at 34 weeks.

“Juice and water” -Client replied.

“How much do you weigh?” -CNM asked.

“160 pounds” -Client replied.

“You should not be drinking any juice, you are very overweight!”-CNM commented.

“I am 6′ 3″” -Client replied.

“Height doesn’t matter!” CNM replied.

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 September 29, 2009  birth, CNM 10 Responses »
Sep 292009
 

“Uh…you can only see one of those in a museum!” -OB when asked by patient to use a fetoscope instead of a doppler when listening for fetal heart tones during a prenatal visit.

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 September 29, 2009  OB, prenatal 12 Responses »
Sep 282009
 

“Some day you’ll get to do this too.”-Mom whispering in 1968 into her newborn daughter’s ear, refering to her nonmedicated, natural birth just minutes before.

“Oh no she won’t! By then they’ll all be Cesareans.” -OB, from his seat at the end of the delivery table where he was sewing up a tear.

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 September 28, 2009  birth, Cesarean, OB 10 Responses »
Sep 282009
 

“it’s either an emergency Cesarean or you can lie here and watch your baby die”. -OB to mom being told she needed immediate surgery. Mom asked for one more vaginal check in the OR, and pushed her baby out vaginally before the surgery could be started.

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 September 28, 2009  Cesarean, OB 3 Responses »
Sep 272009
 

“Well, we typically don’t perform episiotomies. If the situation warrants considering one, we usually just mention it and the baby is born before we have to do more than threaten.” -Midwife to potential client during interview.

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 September 27, 2009  episiotomy, Midwife 10 Responses »
Sep 272009
 

“If the baby ain’t coming out, the baby ain’t coming out.” -OB explaining the need for a Cesarean to a mom who was given 4 hours to dilate past 4 cm.

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 September 27, 2009  birth, OB 2 Responses »
Sep 262009
 

“You can’t walk around 4 cm dilated! Your uterus might fall out!” — OB Nurse to a 2nd time mom being pressured to induce because she was dilated 4 cm and NOT in labor.

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 September 26, 2009  induction, L&D Nurse 12 Responses »