“You are not going to want to move around, you are just going to want to get the baby out.” -OB to mother while they were going over her birth plan at a prenatal and discussing the mother’s wish to move and change positions.

56 people dislike these words.

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“That’s amazing. It’s like she instinctively knows how to breathe right!” -Visiting Nurse who was observing a non-medicated birth in order to re-certify for her specialty as a flight nurse.

15 people dislike these words.

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“If you want to do this drug-free, just make up your mind to do it. You can.” -L&D Nurse to mother who told her she was hoping to have a non-medicated birth but was keeping her options open.

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“ACOG guidelines state that if you’re dilated past 5cm, you must be on the strip (External Fetal Heart Rate Monitor) for every 5 out of 15 minutes.” -OB to mother during her labor.

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“Just so you know, when your milk comes in, you’ll have HORRIBLE uterine cramping when you nurse.  It’ll hurt so bad that you’ll switch to formula.” -OB to mother during a visit the day after she birthed.

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“That epidural sounds really good right about now, doesn’t it?” -OB to mother during the pushing phase.

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“What if you have the baby while I am stuck in traffic?” -OB trying to convince mother to switch hospitals to his “preferred” facility closer to the doctor’s house, despite the mother having indicated a strong preference for another hospital.

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“This is what labor is, this is what has to happen to get the baby out.” -L&D nurse when mother was having trouble dealing with contractions at 4 cm on pitocin.  The severe contractions were a result of going from 4 cms to 10 cm in 45 minutes.

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“Well, at this point, breastfeeding can either help or hurt your baby.” – Doctor to mother who had a slightly jaundiced baby.  Doctor then went on to recommend formula.

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“Your husband can’t be in the OR because you will look dead, and that might freak him out.” -OB to mother during VBAC consult on what might happen in the event of uterine rupture and the need for an emergency cesarean under general anesthesia.

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