“She doesn’t have a choice. All my patients get Pitocin.” – OB to L&D Nurse.

78 people dislike these words.

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“…My g*d d*mm garage door, and then I had to take my car out in this f***king rain. Do we have the vaccum? Go get the vaccum, we’ll probably need it!” – OB as the OB entered the room to meet a laboring mother for the first time.

77 people dislike these words.

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“Hold still! I only have 5 minutes to sew you up.” – OB to mother after rushing her to push quicker than she had wanted to.

59 people dislike these words.

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“Hmm, I have no idea what that means.” – OB while reading an ultrasound report that stated the baby’s head circumference was listed as “out of range.”

37 people dislike these words.

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“Just so you don’t freak out, they did wash his hair in the nursery, not his body, so the pediatrician says you *NEED* to do it *NOW*.” – L&D Nurse to new mother.

42 people dislike these words.

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“Oh I forgot! I’m sorry, there are so many babies here that I just can’t keep them straight sometimes.” – L&D nurse to mother after she started going over the informed consent form and post-procedure care for circumcision.  The mother had already stated that she was not circumcising her son.

50 people dislike these words.

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“No, absolutely no way will you be able to have a drug free third stage, because you have red hair and red heads bleed *A LOT*.” – OB to mother.

49 people dislike these words.

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“That’s fine.  We’ll just test your baby after it’s born.” – Lab Tech to mother who asked if she could decline the HIV test that was “standard” for all mothers.

43 people dislike these words.

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“I don’t do twins vaginally.  You’ll need a cesarean section.” – OB to mother who arrived in labor and was planning to birth her full term, vertex twins vaginally.

66 people dislike these words.

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“Well, if anyone was ever a candidate for plastic surgery, you certainly would be!” – Gyn during abdominal palpation of woman in for a well care appointment.

65 people dislike these words.

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