“Just so you know, when your milk comes in, you’ll have HORRIBLE uterine cramping when you nurse. It’ll hurt so bad that you’ll switch to formula.” -OB to mother during a visit the day after she birthed.
“What if you have the baby while I am stuck in traffic?” -OB trying to convince mother to switch hospitals to his “preferred” facility closer to the doctor’s house, despite the mother having indicated a strong preference for another hospital.
“This is what labor is, this is what has to happen to get the baby out.” -L&D nurse when mother was having trouble dealing with contractions at 4 cm on pitocin. The severe contractions were a result of going from 4 cms to 10 cm in 45 minutes.
“Your husband can’t be in the OR because you will look dead, and that might freak him out.” -OB to mother during VBAC consult on what might happen in the event of uterine rupture and the need for an emergency cesarean under general anesthesia.
“You are wiping to hard when you go to the bathroom.”- OB Resident to mother who started bleeding at 32 weeks of pregnancy. Turns out it was her cervix dilating and effacing, and she needed to be put on meds to stop preterm labor.