“Where’s your cervix?” -OB said after inserting a speculum. Removed it and inserted one that was thinner and longer, then said, “Wow, there is NO way a baby is coming out of that!”  This occurred at a 12 week prenatal pap smear.

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“If you go home now,  I can’t be held responsible for what happens.” -OB after mother refused to be induced on her due date for her first baby, when an Non Stress Test revealed that everything was fine.

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“Why do you need to pay for a doula?  We will tell you everything that you need to do.” -OB

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“Let me do my job as the doctor and you do your job and be a good patient.” – OB  to the mother and her partner who were asking questions about procedures.

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“Oh, I know that you are concerned about tearing.  You should get the epidural so that I can control your pushing to prevent tearing.” – OB to a mom concerned about tearing due to scar tissue.

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“… and you shouldn’t be afraid of home birth. It’s natural and
normal.”- Midwife, who then paused briefly and went on to say “Did you know the world is predicted to end in 2012?”

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“I don’t suggest an IV during labor but encourage eating and drinking.”  -Midwife to mother.

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“You’re my role model!” -CNM to first time VBAC mom who was struggling during transition at a posterior presentation birth. CNM was also 9 months pregnant and planning her first VBAC.

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“If this baby was any bigger you would need a cesarean.” -OB said said after mother delivered a  6 lb 12 oz baby.  16 months later she birthed a 7 lb 15 oz baby totally drug free.

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“Well, you came to the hospital to make sure you’d have this kind of thing available, so why don’t you just go ahead and make use of it? Why else would you be here?” – CNM trying to convince a mother to have an internal fetal monitor placed  because the mom’s movements during labor were shifting the external monitor sensors. Baby was born less than 30 minutes after mom refused the internal monitor.

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