“Well, actually I can’t understand why you came.  There is no problem here.” – OB specializing in miscarriage and infertility, to a mother who had three previous miscarriages.

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Mother:  ”Can my mother-in-law pick up the prescriptions?”

Pediatric  Nurse: “Yes, as long as she is 18 years or over.”

Mother: “I’m pretty sure she is, since she’s my husband’s mother!”

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“Don’t breastfeed any more often than every three hours. You won’t have enough milk in between.”- OB resident to new mother.

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“There’s the balls.” – OB as a way of sharing the baby’s sex with the parents.

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“Enough!” – Post op gyn nurse sharply and tersely to a woman just out of surgery from a myomectomy.  The woman had a history of rough recovery after anesthesia, and was having a similar response this time too.  This information was in her chart.

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“I will not go over this with you and you are being argumentative! More than a few VBACs will be unsafe because the scar stretches and can become unstable. I don’t care how many safe VBACs you’ve had and about any of the other testing you’ve had in the past, this is dangerous!” – OB to mother trying to VBAC again.

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“I still think you’re in very early labor and the first thing you will want to do is get an epidural.” – Midwife coordinating a transfer from home to hospital.  The mother was checked 5 minutes later in the hospital and was in transition.

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“That’s just your bag of water bulging.” –   L&D nurse who was told by the mother the baby was close to being born, and was asked to call the OB right away. The baby was born onto the bed when the nurse had her back turned a short time later.

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“Oops!  I put the drip on too fast!”  -  L&D nurse to mother after having 2 bags of fluid administered in a short time.  As a result, the mother was was shaking, and feeling very anxious with a fast heartbeat.

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“Since clearly you didn’t have any prenatal care, he’ll need to see a cardiologist for a heart ultrasound just to make sure there’s nothing wrong with him.” – Pediatrician to mother of a home birthed baby, who did have a Level II u/s at 22w gestation.

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