- OB to mother who spoke English as a second language and asked what the word perineum meant.
“You know, everyone outside already saw your hoo ha.”
- L&D Nurse to mother who preferred to take a shower without assistance. The mother had birthed her footling breech, premature baby in the front seat of her car in front of the Emergency Department entrance.
“You can’t have a home birth because when you were 9 you broke your leg and you may not be flexible enough for vaginal delivery.” – OB
“You have an ENORMOUS vagina.” - Midwife exclaimed during a cervical check at triage. The midwife was having a difficulty in performing a cervical exam.
“I can’t believe how many times my hand has been in your vagina, we haven’t even gotten to the birth suite yet!” – Midwife to mother in labor.
“We should go ahead and schedule a second cesarean section. Your pelvic floor is not compromised by birth and if you have a cesarean section, you can keep it nice for your husband.” – OB to mother at a prenatal appointment for her planned VBAC.
“You had so much swelling, I really hope I put everything back together right.” – OB to mother after repairing a an episiotomy and third degree tear.
“We will avoid doing pelvic exams as much as possible, and if we decide together one is needed please tell us anything we can do to make it less uncomfortable.” – Midwives upon learning their client had required months of physical therapy to be able to have sex with only mild discomfort and still had a very tight vaginal opening.