“I believe that all first-time mothers need an episiotomy.” – OB during routine prenatal exam.
“If you can’t handle that, you’ll never be able to handle natural childbirth.” – OB to mother after an extremely painful cervical exam.
“Oh, good! A nice, clean uterus!…Now we can talk birth control so you don’t end up here next year!” – OB to mother during an ultrasound after a miscarriage.
“What do you have against pitocin?” – OB to mother when discussing her birth plan.
“We can’t just stop because you’re tired.” -OB to mother after the seventh application of cervical prostaglandins in an attempt to start labor.
“We don’t do water births here. However, sometimes women don’t *make it out of the tub in time*. But, no, we don’t do water births here.” – OB to mother discussing mother’s desire to birth in water, while nodding and winking at the mother.
“You have nothing to worry about…she knows what she’s doing.” -OB to dubious father after mother announced she was now planning to birth at home with midwives.
“You can have a cesarean now, or you can wait until the baby goes into distress and THEN have a cesarean.” – OB to mother who was dilating “too slowly,” but baby showed no signs of distress.
“You really should rethink not having a Hep-Lock or IV because when you’re bleeding to death is a really bad time to place an IV.” -OB going over birth plan with mother.
“Oh God, this is why I hate doing internals on pregnant women, they are all soft & mushy in there & i can’t find the cervix.” -OB during a pelvic exam on a woman 30 weeks pregnant with her 5th child.