“The placenta dies at exactly 42 weeks.” – Certified Nurse Midwife

75 people dislike these words.

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“My babies usually wait until I am in town to be born.” –  Midwife to mother while explaining why she planned to be out of town the weekend the mother was due.

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“I’m so sorry, I know this isn’t what you wanted. I am going to be with you for every moment.” – Certified Nurse Midwife to mother who needed a repeat cesarean.

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“I felt nervous about you going past 42 weeks and not being induced, so I talked to a midwife and she helped ease my fears about letting birth happen naturally.” – OB to mother postterm.

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“Now, this is the CTG machine… I don’t know what that stands for!”  - Midwife while conducting a tour of the L&D unit.

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“You don’t need to be concerned if it will affect your sex life, you have a baby now. It’s not all about you anymore.”  - Midwife refusing to suture second degree tear, and mother expressed concern (not relating to sex) if it would heal unassisted.

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“I don’t have an agenda, I just want you to make an informed choice that is right for you.” – Certified Nurse Midwife to mother while discussing prenatal  and genetic testing.

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“You made this look so easy.”  - Midwife to a mother who just birthed an 11lb 5oz baby.

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“Well maybe next time we’ll work on growing a smaller baby.” – Midwife to mother at postpartum visit.  Mother had an unplanned cesarean.

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“Wow, you sure got a lot of stretchmarks, didn’t you?” – Midwife to mother at 6 week postpartum visit.

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