“I’ll save you the trip to the lactation consultant. Just feed her when she’s hungry.” -Public Health Nurse to mother concerned about her 4 month old’s lack of weight gain.

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Wow, how old are you? You make milk like a teenager!” -Lactation Consultant to mother with one day old son, during a lactation visit, after pinching her nipples to “milk” her.

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“There are women here who are SERIOUS about breast feeding you know.”-Lactation Consultant to tearful mother struggling to breastfeed her tongue-tied newborn over her infected cesarean incision, inadequate pain medication and cracked and bleeding nipples.

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“Well those don’t count because you didn’t call us or write them down” – Postpartum Lactation Nurse to mother, insisting her newborn needed to be supplemented after allegedly not having any wet or soiled diapers since birth, even though the mother responded she had been changing soiled diapers all day.

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“Don’t let her suck on your finger, just force her to the breast while her mouth is open mid-scream.” -Lactation Consultant to mother calming her baby for breastfeeding by letting her suck on her finger.

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“Are you kidding? I am an expert…I’ve been sucking on those things for years!” -Male Nurse after responding to request for lactation help from new mom, who asked him to find a female nurse who might know more about breastfeeding.

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“No, yours are too big….yes, you can breastfeed….no, your nipples will never work…yes, you’re fine…no, your nipples are too flat” -hospital lactation consultant in a post-birth lactation class after asking a group of new moms to remove their shirts for inspection.

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