“Let’s put on the internal monitor so you can move around more freely.” – OB to mother during labor.
“I’m starting to wonder if you’re having a baby or if you are one!” - L&D nurse to mother who asked to not have an IV after the nurse failed to get the IV line in on her first two attempts.
“The baby may be fine now, but she can’t give birth like that!” – Charge nurse speaking to the fact that baby’s heart rate was good when the mother was on hands and knees but the baby had some decelerations when the mother was on her back.
“You must sit like this, never like this, if you sit like this you will be paralyzed! Like this, understand?” – Anesthesiologist about to place an epidural. The Anesthesiologist had brought visual aides.
“Oh for goodness sake, if you think this hurts, how will you cope in labor!” – Nurse after the mother complained as the nurse injected a syringe an already swollen and bruised arm.
“If you don’t consent to an internal exam, you can’t have any pain relief.” – Midwife to sexual abuse survivor who declined an internal exam but wanted nitrous oxide for painful back labor.
“Do you just want to skip these forms and head to L&D?” – Clerk at the hospital admissions office when admitting a mother in heavy labor.
“It better be the baby that made the mess.” – L&D nurse to other nurses at the nurses’ station when a dad called the station to ask for help cleaning up a mess in the L&D room.
“THAT’S what natural childbirth sounds like!” – OB Nurse to a first time mother who got an epidural after hoping for natural childbirth. There was a woman laboring in another room, screaming and swearing.
“It is disgusting to have unshaved armpits.” – L&D Nurse to another at the nurses’ station, in a conversation overheard by the mother.