“I’m so sorry your birth went this way. I wish we could be doing this in your living room like you wanted.” – L&D Nurse admitting mother who had been planning a home birth but had to transfer to the hospital.
“You’re going to have to sit up by yourself, I can’t do it for you.” – L&D Nurse to mother who was struggling to sit up during the pushing phase while exhausted and with a heavy epidural. She asked for help.
“Even if you drink a lot of water, you can still be dehydrated, because you probably eat a lot of salt.” - Certified Nurse Midwife trying to explain mom’s “false contractions” – she was on her fourth day of prodromal labor.
“You cannot get out of bed or use the bathroom after your water breaks because the cord will fall out and your baby will die.” – OB to mother at 19 week prenatal.
“You will get an epidural. You will only have two people in the room. And the doctor is not in charge, the nurses are.” – L&D nurse when mother was in early labor.
“Oh, she just had a little Vagal response.” – L&D nurse while laughing as the husband watched concerned as his wife’s heart rate dropped as did the baby’s also.
“Here’s my cell phone number. Call or text me when you think you’re in labor, not the office line.” – Midwife at 38 week prenatal visit.
“I can’t find your cervix.” – OB during a cervical exam in labor.
“Can you get the squatting bar for her please?” – Family practitioner to nurses when mother changed positions.
“You’ll be cursing my name in about an hour.” – OB to mother after rupturing her membranes.