“If you don’t come in here right now, I will have to write that you are refusing to be monitored!” – L&D Nurse to mother who had gotten up to go to the bathroom and was sitting on the toilet.
“You’ll be in labor for 5 more hours at least.” – OB to mother who birthed 3 hours later.
“Midwives are okay for prenatal visits, but for deliveries they always let the mothers push for like 4 hours until the baby is half dead and then I have to clean up the mess.” – OB sharing her view on midwives with a pregnant patient.
“You will probably be sent home, because you are not *booming out* contractions.” – L&D Nurse to mother who arrived in labor.
“You are doing so amazingly. You could be the woman in the video that teaches pregnant women how to do it right.” – Midwife to mother in labor.
“Your baby is just too big!” – OB while explaining to a mother in labor why she needed a cesarean section. Baby ended up only weighing 6lbs 7oz.
“After rupture of membranes, a laboring woman cannot get out of bed. It’s too dangerous to walk around.” – Midwife instructor to a group of nursing students. When asked if this applied to every labor, the answer was yes, and that the baby would die due to cord compression (regardless of whether the head was already engaged or not.)
“Let’s put on the internal monitor so you can move around more freely.” – OB to mother during labor.
“I’m starting to wonder if you’re having a baby or if you are one!” - L&D nurse to mother who asked to not have an IV after the nurse failed to get the IV line in on her first two attempts.
“The baby may be fine now, but she can’t give birth like that!” – Charge nurse speaking to the fact that baby’s heart rate was good when the mother was on hands and knees but the baby had some decelerations when the mother was on her back.