- Certified Nurse Midwife to mother who was planning to home birth but wanted care also established with a hospital provider.
“I don’t do home births, because birth is too messy.”
- OB to mother, after they were introduced at a social event.
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Your vital signs are great and the fetus is doing just fine. Because your first labor was so fast, I strongly recommend staying home for this one!
–OB to a plus sized, over 35yo mother.
L&D Nurse: “Oh, I haven’t heard of that midwife.”
Mother: “She does homebirths, so you probably don’t see her much.”
L&D nurse: “Oh, so she’s not a REAL midwife…”
Mother: “She’s a CPM.”
L&D nurse: “Oh…. well she acted very responsibly.”
“You can’t have a home birth because when you were 9 you broke your leg and you may not be flexible enough for vaginal delivery.” – OB
“She doesn’t seem to need anything from us right now. Could we look over her birth plan one more time?” – Midwife talking to her apprentice at a homebirth as the mother labored.
“Since your water has broken, I recommend taking extra Vitamin C supplements, and drink plenty of water. There’s no need to intervene at this time.” – Midwife to mother who had no signs of labor other than rupture of membranes; baby was born 56 hours later at home.