“I’m not responsible for your transport! You are because you agreed to go!” – Midwife to mother who agreed to transport at the insistence of the midwife, who tore the cervix while reducing a cervical lip.

38 people dislike these words.

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“You deserve a trophy, momma!  You are a rock star!” – Midwife to mother who birthed a 10 pound 10 ounce, 24 inch baby at home.

6 people dislike these words.

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“I still think you’re in very early labor and the first thing you will want to do is get an epidural.” – Midwife coordinating a transfer from home to hospital.  The mother was checked 5 minutes later in the hospital and was in transition.

41 people dislike these words.

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‘This isn’t vacation, honey.  It’s labor!”- L&D nurse to mother on arrival, who was vocalizing through contractions.  The mother had transferred from a home birth and already had a long and hard labor prior to being admitted.

42 people dislike these words.

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“I don’t even know why they let her in here.” – Birth Center Midwife to Hospital Midwife, during a phone conversation, while arranging a transfer to the hospital.  The mother had epilepsy, but her transfer had nothing to do with her well-managed and symptom free disease.

37 people dislike these words.

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“You have an anterior lip. I just got a call from another family, don’t push until I get back.” – Midwife called to the homebirth of her client who had been in labor and was involuntarily pushing.

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“The doctor had discontinued care with you.” – OB office staff to mother who called when she was showing symptoms of miscarrying. The mother had mentioned the idea of a homebirth at her previous appointment but had not made any firm decision or discontinued care yet.

53 people dislike these words.

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“She got this from you, because she was born at home.” Doctor to mother when the mother took the newborn in for a suspected eye infection.  It was a blocked tear duct.

54 people dislike these words.

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“I’m sure everything will go just fine, but know if anything does go wrong you can always come here for any reason.” – OB to mother who was planning a home birth.

2 people dislike these words.

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“If you need to transfer to a hospital for your birth, you are no longer under the control of your midwife. You become our patient at that point and then WE have the control.” – Hospital midwife to mother when discussing if or when a transfer became necessary.

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