“We need to get this placenta out by the 30 minute mark, otherwise we’ll have to…” (ominous tone) “call in the OB.” -CNM to mom, as she yanked on the cord.

34 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

“I’m used to dressing the ones that wriggle”. -Certified Nurse Midwife to family dressing a baby born still.

276 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

“Ssshhhhhh! There are women trying to SLEEP around here!” -Certified Nurse Midwive to a mother on pitocin and unmedicated.

48 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

“Oh, it’s just superficial, but since you’ve opened a suture kit, I’ll put a couple of sutures in.” -Resident OB to two midwives who delivered the baby and had called the OB because they were concerned that mother had sustained a bad tear.

Turns out it wasn’t just superficial – it was a 4th degree tear and will require major surgery and a temporary colostomy to repair 6 years down the track.

46 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

Mom asks: “Is it necessary to do that?”
Certified Nurse Midwife: “No, but I’ll do it anyway.”
Mom: “I’d prefer if you didn’t.”
Certified Nurse Midwife: “That’s okay, I’ve already started.”

73 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

“If you think you want to experience unnecessary pain for fun, you just need to do more research.”- OB said to 20 wk mom-to-be when she mentioned not wanting an epidural. Mother changed to a CNM after that visit.

37 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

“Never in my 20 years of being a midwife, have I seen a woman with blood pressure like yours not be induced before labor starts.” -Certified Nurse Midwife to client whose labor started spontaneously and who did not have clinically diagnosable case of pregnancy-induced hypertension.

19 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

“I just get the feeling about some women, and I just got the feeling you would need a cesarean.” -CNM speaking to client who had originally planned an out of hospital birth, after a two day labor and stalling at 9.5 cm dilation, prior to surgery.

22 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

“That’s not the way we do things here!” -CNM after being asked for a second opinion before transfer to the OR for a cesarean for Failure To Progress.

17 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »

“Babies just don’t survive past 42 weeks.” – CNM when asked if they would order Non-Stress Tests instead of inducing at 42 weeks, if mother was still pregnant.

29 people dislike these words.

like

Read on »