“You don’t need to take a class like that. I’m going to make sure you have an epidural.” – OB to mother who inquired if she should take a childbirth education class.
“It’s sperm”- L&D nurse describing misoprostol (Cytotec) during childbirth class
“Not circumcising is just gross.” – Childbirth educator during a childbirth class.
“Bradley teachers are all Nazis! They make the people in the nearby college town look conservative. Their students just get in the way of the OBs and the nurses.” – Family Practice doctor to mother when she said that she would like to discuss what she read in “Husband Coached Childbirth” by Dr. Bradley.
“You might be lucky and your labor will only be a couple of hours…but if it’s any longer than that, just get the epidural right away, because you won’t last long without it.” – Childbirth Educator to a class of expectant families.
“Don’t take a childbirth class. It will just get in the way.” – OB to first time mother.
“Don’t make a plan, they’re stupid, things go wrong all the time.” -Midwife/Childbirth Educator during prenatal classes.
“Well, we wouldn’t want to have to have the janitor walking around behind you in the halls, mopping up your amniotic fluid!” -L&D Nurse/Childbirth Educator to a mother who asked in class about walking in labor.
“There is no such thing as an epidural headache.” -L&D nurse’s response in a hospital birth class after I asked about the risk of getting a headache from an epidural..
L&D Nurse: “Did you take any childbirth classes?”
L&D Nurse: “Good. Then we don’t have any bad habits to break!”