“Breech births aren’t even done in America anymore. In fact, they don’t do them anywhere….except maybe in Africa. Your baby could become decapitated. If she’s still breech at 36 weeks we’ll schedule a cesarean for 39 weeks. It’s not the end of the world. Women come in asking for cesareans now!” -OB to mother with a breech baby at 29 weeks.

111 people dislike these words.

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“I don’t feel it.” -OB shrugged and responded to mother who asked if pain medication was available during a version for breech.

50 people dislike these words.

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“Do you have vaginal polyps? It’s a vaginal polyp.” -L&D nurse upon visual examination of a preterm mother who reported feeling something in the birth canal, mere moments before the baby “crowned” frank breech.  The polyp was a penis.

42 people dislike these words.

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“I’ll buy you breakfast.” – OB, in consolation, to father after breaking the mother’s water for induction and discovering a frank breech baby which meant an automatic cesarean.

45 people dislike these words.

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“Well, you had a birth plan and that jinxed you.” -OB to a mother who had an unexpected cesarean for breech after her water was broken for an induction.

61 people dislike these words.

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“We’ll probably have to do a version… or start thinking about scheduling a cesarean.” -OB to mother with a suspected breech baby at 32 weeks prenatal visit.

42 people dislike these words.

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“I wouldn’t let my wife do it.” -OB to mother who said she wanted to attempt a breech vaginal birth.

39 people dislike these words.

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Yeah, she’s one of those “crunchy” types who actually WANTS to give birth without drugs.” -OB referring to mother upset about her cesarean for a breech baby.

68 people dislike these words.

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“Let’s do an exam and see where this baby’s head is.” L&D nurse to a mother in active labor carrying a known breech baby.

6 people dislike these words.

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