“You are my worst patient ever.” -Anesthesiologist to a woman after her cesarean, who had to be put under general anesthesia because she was screaming in pain during the procedure.
“What is wrong with her?” Anesthesiologist to father to be, while referencing the terrified mother who just was told she would need a spinal for an unplanned cesarean. This mother had feared spinal anesthetic her entire life.
“Can you move your legs? If you can’t move your legs, then you can’t feel anything.” -Anesthesiologist to mother who stated she felt pain during a cesarean.
“When are we going to learn not to feed women in labor!” -Anesthesiologist to the entire room in general, during a labor.
“Weren’t you listening to me when I told you that could happen?” – Anesthesiologist to mother, after she complained of feeling like there were bricks on her chest after having received a spinal during a manual extraction of the placenta after birth.
“We can’t tell how long it will take anesthesia to get here…one hour, two hours, five hours???” -Staff to a woman asking how long it would take to have an anesthesiologist arrive.
“No. Let me tell you what you’re feeling. You’re feeling phantom contractions. It’s all in your head.” -Anesthesiologist to mother who was stating that the epidural was not working well, as they prepared for a cesarean.
“That’s okay, I prefer not to do them on overweight women anyway.” -Anesthesiologist to mother who said she preferred not to have an epidural during an unplanned cesarean.
“Are you sure?” – said by a supervising Anesthesiologist while the Junior Anesthesiologist was poking the mother with a needle for the 4th time.
“Aren’t you going to check her?” -Anesthesiologist to OB.
“Why?, all that does is increase the chances of an infection. She’ll tell us when she’s ready to push” -OB back to Anesthesiologist.