Feb 222013

“I bet you weren’t screaming when it went in.” L&D Nurse to mother in labor.

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 February 22, 2013  L&D Nurse, labor  Add comments

  27 Responses to ““I Bet You Weren’t Screaming When It Went In.””

  1. “who says I wasn’t” ;-)

    • HAHA! Good one! :-D

      Seriously, though, this nurse gets that the conception and delivery processes are different, right? She knows it’s not just a tiny baby going in and a bigger baby coming out, right? Right?!

    • To be honest, my first thought was “Are you sure about that?”

      But seriously, why would you say that to any woman? Yes, the baby “going in” is a whole heck of a lot more pleasant than when he decides to come out. Having a baby is a messy, sometimes noisy, and painful thing. If you can’t handle that and have the urge to make snarky comments to laboring mothers, then you are in the wrong line of work, nursy-poo.

      • Yeah, this comment becomes ten times worse if the mother was a rape or incest victim. :-(

        • Ooooooh, I didn’t even think about that. You’re right. That kind of comment can really screw a woman up under those circumstances. Thank you for pointing that out.

          I read it the way Bonita did…like “Oh, really? I didn’t know you were there!” And LizzieK’s comment “Having a baby is a messy, sometimes noisy, and painful thing!” (Please forgive my odd sense of humor regarding what I saw in your excellent and valid statement.)

          Because, well, if you’re doing the whole “going in” part in certain fun (and consensual!)ways, it could end up a little messy, very noisy, and a bit painful…in a good way, that is. *WINK WINK*

    • Knowing me, I probably was. I’m rather noisy during sex. Ironically, I’m rather quiet during labor. That would just blow this nurse’s mind wouldn’t it!

  2. Let me guess: The mother was single, and/or a teenager.

  3. Because pain only counts if the whole process was painful. For example, if you break your leg skiing, you get no pain management because skiing is fun. And if you get hurt in a car accident, no painkillers for you — because you got into that car of your own accord. And if you have gallbladder surgery, no pain management is necessary because for all the previous years of your life, it wasn’t painful to have a gallbladder.

    (Meanwhile, I would bet the hospital publicity info touts its cutting-edge pain management planning. I hope this nurse was reported.)

  4. The exact same thing was said to my aunt when she had my cousin (35 years ago!) – she kicked the midwife in the face and demanded another one.

  5. This is disgusting. Just…no.

  6. Um, you do know the male doesn’t just put a full size baby in the woman’s belly, right nurse? And since we’re comparing a newborn’s head with an average adult penis here, the nurse should also know there is an obvious size difference.

  7. Another gem from my forced military induction. I was 14 hours in to a 19 hour unmedicated induction.
    And someone hit it on the head… I was 17.

  8. What if she were screaming? Sometimes rape does result in pregnancy. Jeez. Sometimes women enjoy sex too, yes, but good Lord that was offensive.

    • Not “legitimate rape.” Remember, the body has a way of shutting that whole thing down. *Seething sarcasm and mocking that Akin moron!*

      Op, I am so sorry. Military hospitals are (generally) the worst!

  9. Don’t you just love condescending b****es?

  10. Because sperm is the same size as a 9 pound baby.

    • If they were, the human race would end immediately. For no man would EVER consent to sex if emitting 9-pound-baby-sized sperm was part of the process! LOL!

    • I was thinking along the same lines, but more like, “do you really think my husband has a nine-pound, ten-cm-in-diameter penis? I’m sure he’s very flattered.”

      Apparently medical/nursing schools need a course entirely devoted to its title: “What Not to Say in Any and Every Medical Situation.” It should probably be two full semesters, according to the volume of comments posted on this site.

  11. You know, I’m pretty sure i’d be screaming bloody murder if someone was shoving a *baby* in!

  12. I’d love to see what she’d say to my friend Izzie. She LAUGHED her baby out. Every contraction sent her into a weird laughing/screaming fit and all she could explain was “It hurts but its tickling!”

    Oddly, her baby laughed before his one month birthday. Probably not too strange, but it stuck out because of his birth situation.

  13. You’re right, I wasn’t, but only because the kids were sleeping in the next room!

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