Jan 112013

“I would prefer if you didn’t, but you probably will anyway.” – L&D Nurse to mother when the mother said she was leaving and getting food during labor.

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 January 11, 2013  L&D Nurse, labor  Add comments

  33 Responses to ““I Would Prefer If You Didn’t, But You Probably Will Anyway.””

  1. I was being discharged in order to go to my doctor’s office to complete the pre-admission paperwork for my default repeat c-section (due to being a vbac it was scheduled at 41w2d) that was scheduled for 5 days later. They would not allow me to just do the paperwork in the hospital while I was in non-active/prodromal labor (5 min apart lasting 1 min each and I had to moan or be on hands and knees to get through each one) and being monitored. I told the nurse that if they discharged me I was going to lunch before I came back. I went to my appointment, did the paperwork, and was told to go back to the hospital for monitoring since I was a vbac. My husband, doula and I all went to lunch before going back to the hospital. Where I was again admitted and released. You can see more about my labor here http://myobsaidwhat.com/2013/01/11/well-i-can-get-you-dilated-but-that-doesnt-mean-a-baby/

    • They made you do preadmit paperwork for a c-section while you were in labor?!? That’s even worse than mine, where they demanded I sign a consent form at 9cm. I’m so sorry they forced that on you. And what would they have done if you hadn’t filled out the paperwork that day? not sectioned you when it came time for the default repeat C?

    • So they were doing continuous monitoring during prodromal labor because it was a VBAC and it was extremely important to monitor at all times, right? Funny how useless paperwork trumps supposed well-being of the baby. At least you got a good meal in before active labor and happy to hear you got your VBAC!

      • There’s a shield of protectiveness that exudes from paperwork during labor, preventing the slightest harm to either mother or baby, and that’s why she could be disconnected from the monitors and take a trip to the doctor’s office. The power of the paperwork protected her.

        • Oh, silly me! The Paperwork must have been printed on one of those pieces of Authentic Unicorn Stationery ( yours of you call now for only 19.95 + tax! ). THAT’s how the baby was fine without monitoring. It was really pretty paper too, with a pink and purple unicorn in the upper left corner and a string of twinkle lights all around the edges…

  2. I don’t understand how they can legally ask you to sign forms after having medication.

    • i dont either but in this case i dont believe she had had any medication, it was “just” prodromal labour not the “real thing”. otherwise i absolutely agree its one of those “only in the labour ward situations

  3. On the subject of paperwork during labour, I signed a form agreeing to my emergency section. I was happy to do it and it had to be done. If, however, I had been zonked out on medication or just unable to sign anything for reasons of pain etc, I don’t know what I would have done. Perhaps my next of kin, i.e. my husband, would have signed it for me?

    • I’ve mentioned it before, but my ob told me if I didn’t agree to an induction he’d have my husband agree for me. I wasn’t married.

      • rofl what did he say to that?

      • wait… so your OB said that if you didn’t agree to a non-medically necessary induction he would just ask your partner for permission? If it’s non-medical I would assume this means that at best you might be under the influence of pain meds and / or distracted by labour but otherwise not incapacitated when he intended to ask for permission from your ‘husband’ and then induce you (without informing you?)

        • This was at my 30 week appointment, while reviewing my birth plan. I had indicated that I did not wish to be induced. He told me that “noone goes into labor naturally anymore, everyone has to be induced” I told him that I would not show up to any induction appointment, and he said that I would not be “allowed” to go past 41 weeks and then made the husband comment. I loved every other doctor in that practice but he was an a*s. This is the same man who told me that only bad parents need immediate skin to skin contact and immediate breastfeeding to bond.

          • I know this is slightly unrelated, but the question has bugged me for a long time so I am taking this opportunity to jump on asking it (and this is for anyone to answer me really). Do you feel you “need” skin to skin after birth and immediate breastfeeding to bond or do you just want to hold your baby after birth because, it’s yours and you want to hold it?

          • I want skin to skin immediately after birth because I think that barring any true emergency which would preclude it, it is best for the BABY. I don’t (personally) need it to bond. But the hospital I birthed at recently, when I asked if they did skin to skin, got all excited, whisked out a flier and some other papers explaining what skin to skin was and why it is good for mom and baby and etc.

            Not only does it warm baby up just as well as (if not better than) than being in a warmer, it also produces more favorable results on an infant’s blood sugar (though nobody knows why, studies have confirmed this. This was especially important to me because I had GD and although diet controlled and strict with my diet, I knew low blood sugar *could* be a concern.)

            Also, IIRC there were other studies showing that when mom had immediate skin to skin with her baby and was able to nurse immediately (if baby was willing) it helped improve her outcomes. Oxytocin produced via breastfeeding lowered hemorrhaging and there were some other things I can’t remember offhand, but overall there were significant benefits to mother and child, with no downsides at all (again, barring a true medical issue).

            So for me, while “bonding” is nice, I don’t feel that my relationship with my child will be forever ruined if I don’t get to hold them immediately, but I *do* want to hold them immediately for the tangible benefits for the baby and for myself.

          • All of that is WHY I wanted s2s, the immediate breastfeeding had other reasons as well , the doc just ASSumed my reason was bonding without bothering to ask. As for the immediate breastfeeding, the simulation of the uterus that breastfeeding causes makes the placenta detach more lsafely and easily than the hospital methods for extracting it.

          • ^ all of the above plus immediate bfing causes the placenta to detach much more safely and less painfully than the aggressive ways the hospitpal manages it (I’m the woman that was told I wasn’t allowed to hold my baby until I pushed the placenta out) the doc just assumed it was for bonding, never asked my reasons.

          • Well said, Gaevren. All of this^ is why immediate skin-to-skin/ breatfeeding is important to me.

          • Good question, Goldilocks – skin-to-skin is thought to help the baby bond as well as keep it calm and warm after the birth. Having said that, if a baby is not immediately given skin-to-skin (e.g. is the mother is unwell or under an anaesthetic or if they baby needs immediate attention) it shouldn’t affect bonding in the long term.

            Fathers are also encouraged to do skin-to-skin. Premature babies are said to benefit from skin-to-skin ‘kangarooing’ with their parents (i.e. they sit inside the mum/dad’s top like a Joey in a pouch.

            For me, the skin-to-skin moment was the first ‘nice’ thing to happen after the birth. My baby was born by emergency section and I was under anaesthetic. As a result, I didn’t see him for several hours after the birth. I remember doing the skin-to-skin and it did feel wonderful to hold him to my skin after undergoing such a trauma. I don’t know if it benefitted him as he was asleep but I like to think it did.

          • Also, s2s promotes breastfeeding because the infant can smell milk so gets hungry without having to be stressed into crying before eating and hearing/feeling the parent breathing stimulates the baby’s breathing to regulate more easily

          • Ah yes, that’s true as well. All in all, it’s a good thing to do skin-to-skin as it has so many benefits.

      • Oh my goodness, that is absurd!

    • He asked about the man who always came with me and I explained it was my fiance who has no legal say. He then mentioned cps can remove parental rights if I’m “endangering the baby” I promptly told him if he called cps on me for refusing to submit to a non-medical based induction he’d be opening himself up to not only a lawsuit but a myriad of complaints to the medical board. He backed off but I still complained to the practice and refused to be scheduled with him again.

    • Answering the question about who gives consent if you are physically unable to- at least in the emergent situations I have been part of (as an L&D nurse) in CA and WA, two physicians signed consent for the life-saving c-section for the patient.

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