Jan 062013

“The doctor is not happy with you, you are not supposed to be testing for pregnancy this early.” – Staff at the OB office, when a mother with a history of loss, took a home pregnancy test that was positive and then showed signs of miscarrying and wanted further care.

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 January 6, 2013  OB, pregnancy loss  Add comments

  13 Responses to ““The Doctor Is Not Happy With You…””

  1. What the actual fuck?

    When a patient with high blood pressure goes and gets a cuff to check their own blood pressure at home, doctors think it’s great and proactive. When a patient who is borderline diabetic gets a blood sugar meter to monitor spikes, doctors think it’s a responsible management tool. When a woman who is high risk for breast cancer performs home breast exams, this is considered an excellent prevention and awareness measure.

    But when a mother chooses to become aware of her reproduction in order to simply document incidents, doctors are “not happy” about it? This wouldn’t fly in ANY other aspect of medicine. At all. My husband has a chronic illness, so he’s seen doctors regularly for the last several years; without fail, all of them have been pleased when he demonstrates an active awareness of his condition and treatment options. But if a woman does the same thing regarding her uterus, well, we can’t have THAT, now, can we?

    • Agreed. In my first pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes, but I was not aware of it, because the OB office dropped the ball and didn’t alert me when the test results came back. It snow balled into a series of events that ended up with me having my son at 32 weeks, due to PROM.

      I went into my current pregnancy with this in mind, bought a glucose meter and kept track of everything I have been eating, and at my 29 week glucose test, I was neg for GD. I’ll be damned if an OB (or my midwife, but she was encouraging) ever told me NOT to watch my sugars at home and look for issues.

      Same if I had been having miscarriages…I would be diligent to know when I’m miscarrying and why, and this doctor is just wanting it to be ignored or to have the power over the information, which is crap.

  2. Based on the full story a few posts back, it’s safe to say this doctor had serious control issues, serious insecurity issues, and probaly needed a year-long sabbatical to reassess whether being a doctor was actually in her best interests. It clearly wasn’t in her patients’ best inerests.

    The thing is: we don’t have to keep our doctors happy. The doctor is there to dispense medical advice and to empower us to safeguard our own health. Then we make the decision to comply with the advice or to take a different course of action. The doctor’s personal happiness does not factor into our decisions about our health.

    Pregnancy tests are not a controlled medical device, available only by prescription like heart medication. We can obtain them over the counter because they are safe and they provide useful information. And that’s as it should be.

  3. Oh frickin’ well, doc. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but it’s time to put on your big girl panties and deal with my legitimate medical issue. And I’ll take it with out the side of judgment or sass.

  4. Because making doctors happy should be *every* patient’s main concern, right?

  5. OMG, this is just another example of how doctors are trained to act like they’re our parents, not people we hire to collaborate in our health care. I spent a good many years being afraid of upsetting or disappointing or insulting my doctors, but I’m so glad that I’m at a point now where I am not afraid any more. My doctors are supposed to be professionals; their feelings do not factor into my health care. Only MINE do. And if I’M not happy with my doctor/healthcare provider, THEN there’s a problem. Not the other way around.

    You’re all right in saying that this doctor is a control freak who needs to reassess her position in the medical field. Maybe she should turn to research where the only contact with living things will be limited to rats and mice. I’m pretty sure they won’t “give a rat’s ass” whether the doc is happy with them or not.

    Good for you OP for recognizing that this is unacceptable “treatment” and looking for someone who sees your healthcare as a collaborative effort in which you all have responsibilities…your’s being to carefully watch and document your fertility to HELP uncover why you’re having miscarriages so often and soon early. My heart and prayers go out to you for your losses.

  6. Good. I’m not happy with the doctor. Now we’re even. Take care of my medical needs or give me my records and I’ll find someone who will, happy or not.

  7. All of the above, and then some.

    And speaking from the ER nurse perspective, when patients come in with a chief complaint of “pregnancy test” we all (doctors, nurses, housekeeping, etc.) get irritated because our advice is to go to the dollar store and get one of their tests that are just as effective as ours! The office/hospital tests just aren’t that much better. You might be able to pick up a difference of a few milliunits/mL across quite a few brands of tests, but that’s about it. They’re all good. And sold over the counter for a reason.

    So the OP was supposed to never test again and always have “late periods” without even being allowed to *think* she might be pregnant as far as this doc was concerned, let alone get an actual (and accurate) home test result? Crazytown for any doctor to want a patient so ignorant at all times.

    • I know from experience of working in a lab that blood tests are not more accurate, they’re just about as equal to a dollar store pregnancy test!

      • **for most people.

        Women with PCOS and even some without, will be able to get a positive test on a blood test WEEKS before a urine test shows up positive! I have literally had negative tests through 10+ weeks of pregnancy. I have had blood tests show up at under 2 weeks. It’s just something some of us have to deal with and we always request a blood test since we KNOW that a urine test will not show up for many weeks. The positive? I get to “skip” most of the first trimester most of the time lol.

  8. The doctor is my employee, not my mother.

  9. Well, could you please go back in to the doctor and tell him that I don’t give a &*%$ how “happy” he is? His happiness is not my responsibility. He can learn how to control his emotions better on his own time.

  10. OH NO! The doctor isn’t happy with me?! ::wrings hands and sobs:: Whatever will I do now?

    Good grief. OP, I really hope that you were able to get the care you needed.

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