Jan 052013

“Wow! Your cootch is so big, I can fit my whole hand up there!” – OB to mother at her first prenatal, during a vaginal exam.

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 January 5, 2013  Cervical exam, OB, vagina  Add comments

  34 Responses to ““Wow! Your Cootch Is So Big…””

  1. uuuuummmmm what? what? …………?

  2. Luckily I can type with my jaw on the floor because I don’t think it’s coming up any time soon.

  3. Hmm. I’ve been told I have a very narrow vaginal canal, yet I’ve passed a child — which is significantly bigger than a hand — through there. Does this OB only ever do c-sections and never learned vaginae are designed to stretch?

  4. And this is the point at which the mother can request her medical records from this office and report the doctor to anyone who will take a report. :-b

  5. O_O *blink*

    “Out. NOW. I am getting dressed and you are fired. Do not speak to me again.”

    On what planet is this kind of elementary school-style comment from a medical professional considered OK?

  6. …I don’t even know what to say.

  7. I likely would have broken out with, “That’s because my husband is a man and very well endowed. He doesn’t feel like he has to demean people to find satisfaction like you do. You must be very small.”

  8. One more reason to hate vaginal exams. And cooch? Is the doctor 14? Am I being punk’d?

  9. I want to throw up after reading that.

  10. “Well you know what they say about small hands… Oh sorry I thought we were insulting each other”

    No matter what that is an awful thing to say.

  11. Cooch? Are you sure you went to medical school?

    • Yeah, I don’t think I want a doc who uses the word “cooch” with patients to provide my prenatal care or deliver my baby.

      Time for a new doc…

  12. What medical institution did you learn your practice from in which any of what you just said is even remotely appropriate?

  13. First: Remarks of this nature at totally unnecessary from a medical standpoint. The size of a vagina barely matters at all, medically speaking.

    Second: A medical professional should never utilize slang terms for ANYTHING, especially if that slang could even remotely be construed as offensive.

    Third: Placing “your whole hand” inside someone for know reason, as this quote implies (You are SO BIG I wanted to see how much of my arm could fit!) could be seen as sexual assault.

    Fourth: I hope the patient ended the exam RIGHT THEN, fired the doctor, collected her records and left. Swearing optional.

  14. Is that the accepted medical terminology these days?

    OP, I hope you ran fast and far.

  15. Unfortunately mine, (Hi, all, I’m new!) or at least my best friend’s. I was her labor coach for her first two pregnancies. This was her first, we were 19, and she was terrified. Being young and not well-off, she was being seen by the local hospital maternity clinic.

    There were many problems with this place, the least of which was this relatively inoffensive comment. I don’t think she ever saw the same doctor twice. And the nursing staff was constantly condescending to us, one even going so far as to tell me that Halloween can’t possibly be my favorite holiday, as it isn’t a “holy day,” even after I told her I was Pagan.

    And being young, we didn’t realize how many options were available, so we trudged back there faithfully for every appointment. She delivered in the same hospital L&D department that my aunt had worked in for years. As a result, they bent the rules for us and allowed 3 observers instead of two (me and both our mothers).

    At one point, they tried to give her an I.V. stating “if you don’t get an I.V. now, you can’t have an epidural later.” She was terrified of needles and had low blood pressure issues to the point an epidural could have been catastrophic. I told the nurse to go away, read her chart, and come back without the I.V., which she did.

    Extremely long story shorter, she labored for 5 hours, pushed for twenty minutes, and delivered my healthy, beautiful, 7 pound godson with almost no intervention (though I now suspect that “stretching” that made her mother and I have to restrain her from hitting the doctor to be an episiotomy). I still can’t believe he’ll be ten in March.

  16. File that one under, “things I’d expect to hear in porn, not in my doctor’s office.”

  17. Not sure what happened to the pink link I tried to post yesterday, but meh. Still mine. :)

    Long story short, this was my best friend, her first baby, terrified of doctors and I was to be her coach, so I went with her to appointments the dad couldn’t. Being 19 and on Medicaid,, neither of us realized that she could have, in fact let that nightmare clinic. More info in the pink if it ever shows up.

  18. I don’t believe for a moment that this one is true

    • Do you know what they call the person that graduates last in his/her class in medical school? They call him/her DOCTOR! And in years past they funneled them into OB. And crappy OB’s end up working for the state at the free clinic because they couldn’t possibly manage a private practise where treating their patients with this level of disrespect would result in closing their doors. Consider yourself lucky to have never had to set foot in one of these places.

    • You know, I understand that thought, and sincerely wish I WERE making it up. For the record, I was actually way more off put by it than my friend was. She found it a little awkward, but also funny. I was just floored by the unprofessionalism. This doctor was just so…*shudder*. If she had ever seen the same doc twice, it might have been more of an issue.

    • Then just be grateful that you’ve never had such a lousy doctor.

  19. ::shudders:: I don’t even know what to say.

  20. I would have been devastated by such a horrible remark. Just devastated. For one, it’s a stupid and very rude thing to say. Secondly, one feels exposed enough at these times…

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