Dec 312012
 

“Well, you are obviously very well informed, I can tell you have done your research and do feel a hysterectomy is a very good option for you.” – OB/Gyn to a childless woman who wanted a hysterectomy due to significant endometriosis.

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  22 Responses to “Holiday Sweets! “…You Are Obviously Well Informed…””

  1. This is mine! I was 27 when I went to see my GYN for my “annual maintenance package”, I had insane periods, I wanted my uterus OUT. I had my tubes tied when I was 26 because I was (and still am very much childfree!). My fiance (now husband) was right next to me when I asked the doctor about getting a hysterectomy, the doctor didn’t even ask him which was fantastic. While I do respect his opinion, in the end it is MY body. I had the hysterectomy which turned out to be what I needed, I’m no longer throwing up from the pain and passing out from it either. The doctor didn’t even question my decision to never have children, which was also very nice. :)

    • I am so glad he respected your choice! A friend of mine had 4 children under 3 years old and wanted a hysterectomy, and the doctor refused because she was young and may want more children someday. It is absolutely disrespectful to her.

      • It’s disrespectful to ANY women whether she has 0 or 10 children. Most people are very respectful of DH and I remaining CF and most are parents! My mom loved being my mother, but she also said it’s not for everyone.

        • Would you view it as a disrespectful doctor, if they were very polite and made no comments, about future children, even if they refused to perform a patient request hysterectomy?

          • It depends why the doctor refused. I had my tubes tied prior to asking for the hysterectomy anyway. So future children were a moot point. My doctor obviously felt a hysterectomy was the best option for me as well, which is why he made the “well informed” comment. Other choices to end my periods were not good options for me. A hysterectomy was. :)

          • For you it may have been (wasn’t there don’t know), but I know a lot of people seem to think that a doctor that says no isn’t respecting patient autonomy and I wanted your opinion on it.

          • I’m not the OP, but indeed, I would have viewed such a doctor as disrespectful and more if he refused me whatever procedure I asked for, as long as the refusal wasn’t based on the inability of the doctor or the facility to perform the procedure anyway.

            It’s the doctor’s place to give advice, not to make decisions for me, and then to carry out whatever decision that I make.

          • What do you mean by that? Should a doctor remove someones arm if they ask them to? Even if nothing is wrong with it? What if the doctor has moral objections to what you want them to do? Would that be an acceptable reason to refuse?

          • Having read a news story about a man amputating his own leg because he felt as if it wasn’t supposed to be there, I say yes, a doctor should be obligated to remove a limb at a patient’s request, less the patient do something drastic to remove it themselves. As for a doctor not performing a hysterectomy, the only reason a doctor should refuse is if the woman is at a high risk of complications during surgery.

          • I have to disagree. I don’t believe a doctor should amputate a healthy limb when the patient’s real problem is a mental illness.

            But definitely the only reason a doctor should refuse to do a hysterectomy is the risk of complications from the surgery.

          • But they used to say that being transgender was a mental illness (heck, they still do), but performing surgeries to align people’s bodies with their gender has saved many lives.

          • Not even just mental illness – it is absolutely a doctor’s right to refuse to perform a procedure to which s/he has a conscientious objection, particularly when it is not medically indicated (not talking about this particular situation, just in general). What more doctors need to understand is that this does NOT apply to VBAC. VBAC is not a “procedure” – it us the default mode. If a woman who had had a prior cesarean were alone on a desert island, a baby would not spontaneously exit her abdomen. RCS is a procedure; VBAC is not.

          • Arm, no, but a hysterectomy, yes. It is the woman’s decision and she did not want children. She has every right to ask for it to be removed. What reason would a doctor have to refuse that?

          • But if they were having significant endometriosis, then their uterus WASN’T healthy and functioning. They take out gallbladders and apendexes and such.

            Plus it’s a total double-standard compared compared to visectamies. Did you know there are places where if a person is married, they need their SPOUSE’s approval for a hysterectomy?

          • I’m on the fence about it, personally. I feel like a doctor shouldn’t use the “But you’ll change your mind about children!” card to deny hysterectomies. I do, however, feel like there should generally be a medical indication to have one (there may be exceptions, but I’m speaking in general). Someone shouldn’t be able to just walk in to a doctor’s office, request major surgery, and have it scheduled a week later.

            If a woman wants it only to prevent pregnancies, there should at least be some discussion of alternatives, not just an immediate leap to surgery. Of course, the doctor should also be treating the patient with respect, not just blow her off because he doesn’t like what she’s asking.

  2. I can only hope to find a doctor so accommodating when I ask for a hysterectomy. As soon as I’m done having kids, I’m going to start asking. I’m not waiting until I’m 48-49 like my mom, grandma and great grandmother, all due to uterine tumors.

  3. My aunt had a hysterectomy even though she really didn’t want one. She has seven children, and she had severe uterine prolapse. She DID want more children, and she and her husband have the income and patience to handle more kids. I’m beginning to wonder if her doctor even offered her other options other than removing her uterus. She was in her mid-thirties.

    Her youngest is now 11, and she wishes she at least had the option of having more kids.

  4. Wonderful news, Amy! It’s about time doctors started respecting the choices of women. Proudly Childfree here and it took decades to find a doctor who would give me a hysterectomy, despite life-threatening endometriosis.

  5. Wonderful! Great to see a doctor showing the right balance. There’s nothing wrong with checking with a patient i.e. “Are you sure you’ve thought this through?” (because, sadly, from my dealings with the general public in retail I’m SURE there are people who think they could “reverse” a hysterectomy if they wanted) but yours is exactly the sort of scenario where it’s obvious that you have.

  6. I an alive today only because i had my uterus removed eleven years ago. However doctors made me Endure thirteen years of massively heavy and near constant periods before granting me surgery. By then it was nearly too late as my uterus was full of multiple tumors. My uterus was so big it was stopping me from urinating properly. And i was passing out constantly from alone loss. As it was i ended up needing not just removal of my uterus but also another operation to remove a tumor from the spine which was caused by waiting too long for uterus removal. Why are doctors so out of tune with the fact women have a right to be healthy.

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