Dec 30

“I See You Did Get Your Tonsils Out.”

“I see you did get your tonsils out.” – OB to mother while performing a vaginal exam in order to obtain a culture during the first prenatal appointment.

42 people dislike these words.

There are 27 comments to this post.

Kix had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 5:15 am (Quote)

Seriously, wtf? I mean… how is this even…. why would you even…. and then…. wtf is wrong with you, OB?

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Katie Reply:
May 15th, 2013 at 2:22 am Katie(Quote)

maybe it was one of those icebreakers they always try

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Jen had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 5:25 am (Quote)

I’m confused. Is “having your tonsils out” code for something, or does the doctor think s/he can see all the way into the throat from the vagina? Or is s/he doing two things at once, reading the chart instead of focusing all attention on getting the swab?

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Heather P Reply:
December 30th, 2012 at 11:24 am Heather P(Quote)

I’m with you.I don’t get it either. If its a joke, its not funny.

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arzt4empfaenger Reply:
December 30th, 2012 at 2:11 pm arzt4empfaenger(Quote)

Yeah. The “I’m in so deep I can see the tonsils from the other side, har, har” comes from a joke that is okay, but definitely not meant to be told in THAT moment, from a doctor towards a patient. If it was an attempt at humour to break the ice, it was definitely awkward and a big fail on the doctor’s part.

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Carrie had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 5:27 am (Quote)

I read this as a poor attempt at humor during an akward moment to try to relieve some tension. Not a horrible comment, but not really appropriate either, unless said by an OB to a patient with whom he was familiar with and KNEW she would find the comment amusing.

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Jane Reply:
December 30th, 2012 at 6:31 am Jane(Quote)

That may be the case. It’s too close to inappropriate/sexual for a doctor to compare a vagina to a mouth for me to be comfortable with it, but if the OB had a generally laid-back and friendly relationship with the patients, it might work for some or even most women.

I had a podiatrist who went through every visit making nonstop puns, jokes and other silly statements. If a doctor with that style said it, it would be one of six dozen jokes during a ten-minute office visit, and you’d barely even notice it during the rush of bad humor.

But for pelvic exams, personally, I prefer my doctors to just get it over with.

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Pepper had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 5:50 am (Quote)

I still don’t understand the American OBs need to get into vaginas at every pre/during/post natal visit.

If a culture is required, the OP could have obtained the sample herself.

That said, this is a highly inappropriate comment to a women in a vulnerable position.

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Chris Reply:
December 30th, 2012 at 4:35 pm Chris(Quote)

We American non-OB’s don’t get it either.

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Billie Jo Reply:
December 30th, 2012 at 8:07 pm Billie Jo(Quote)

Did you know that we little patients can’t be trusted to take our own swabs/cultures? It seems to vary from practice to practice but the majority of US practices don’t ‘allow’ their patients to do it.

I have had 3 pregnancies and my first to I was expected to do my GBS swap myself. My third they did it (which I was completely fine with since appropriately reaching that area was difficult and painful that pregnancy.

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Katie Reply:
May 15th, 2013 at 2:27 am Katie(Quote)

not always true. I am in america, at a fairly large practice and they did one internal swab (I was due for a pap anyways) and then the one internal u/s at 7 weeks for my dating (I have very abnormal cycles so it was necessary)
Since then, I’ve been there every 4 weeks and they have not removed my panties again. I’m now 22 weeks, and they won’t do cultures again until after I give birth.

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Katie Reply:
May 15th, 2013 at 2:28 am Katie(Quote)

also: I wouldn’t want to do a culture myself. I prefer someone do it who can actually SEE where they are swabbing

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Kristin had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 5:56 am (Quote)

You know what? If you confuse a vagina for a mouth, or any other part of anatomy, maybe you shouldn’t be a doctor. You obviously are under the impression that you can speak out of your bum.

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Annie had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 6:11 am (Quote)

Well, obviously if it was submitted here, the OP found it inappropriate and offensive, and I’m sorry you had this experience.

That said, I chuckled a little. It’s a lame joke, and I have that kind of relationship with the practitioners I’ve been seeing. Humor, especially punny or lame humor, is totally my coping mechanism.

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Sheva had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 6:48 am (Quote)

Yikes!
The First thing I thought was, “How deep in are you putting that speculum!!?!”
I don’t see the humor here, it sounded to me like that doctor was just discussing other medical information while taking the culture. Personally I’d prefer the doc to discuss the procedure s/he’s doing, or at least pertinent info, while in there.

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TyMc had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 7:15 am (Quote)

Am i the only one who thinks he may be referring to her hymen? That’s how it came across to me anyway. Although, this being a prenatal exam, you’d think that would be a no-brainer.

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ash had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 7:46 am (Quote)

No, I must’ve lost them.. moron.

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mel had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 8:21 am (Quote)

I have a very posterior (i think it’s called) cervix. I have commented before that anything where they need to reach my cervix feels like they are trying to inspect my tonsils by way of my vagina. I would have LMAO. Sorry OP.

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Trisha Reply:
December 30th, 2012 at 1:32 pm Trisha(Quote)

I agree with Mel. I would have LOL. I took it as an attempt by the OB to aknowledge that its an invasive exam, and awkward, and uncomfortable.

I’m not the OP, but…. I was in the middle of laboring with a 16 weeker (he died, so I was being induced with Cytotec and Pitocin). LOTS of pain meds for this labor, so I was quite loopy. OB came in to check me and instill more meds. Since my cervix was still really high and hard to reach, it was pretty uncomfortable. I looked at my Mom and said “I think he’s trying to reach my spleen”.

I need the pink link – was the OP offended by this, or was she stunned that it was said?

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arzt4empfaenger Reply:
December 30th, 2012 at 2:12 pm arzt4empfaenger(Quote)

I personally also wouldn’t have been offended at all, but still, it’s something that a doctor should not say to the wrong person!

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Krista Reply:
December 30th, 2012 at 4:51 pm Krista(Quote)

But unless it’s been said how do you know who the wrong person is?

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arzt4empfaenger Reply:
December 31st, 2012 at 7:23 am arzt4empfaenger(Quote)

If two people are close and know each other for a longer time, i.e. an OB/Gyn or the family doctor of long years and a patient who always joke around, I think it can be safe to make a joke like this, too. (My Gyn would never joke at all, because he’s very solemn, but doctors are people and come in all facettes.)

So how do I know…? Simple: When you’re in doubt that it’s the right person, then it is definitely the wrong one. When you feel it’d work, ask yourself/question your judgement again (inwardly) and only do it when you feel sure you and the patient are close enough for something like that.

Most times it’s better to “waste” an opportunity to joke to be safe, and in general I much prefer it if people – including doctors, cashiers, taxi drivers – stick to being professional, especially when they’re among the ones with little fine sense for appropriateness (and lack thereof) of certain comments. The downside is that you risk coming across as boring, stuck up stick sometimes, but at least you don’t offend anyone. I’m usually all for saying what you think, but doctors and patients need to share a trustful relationship, and it’d be silly to ruin it by trying to be a “cool” joker.
That said, *I* still don’t mind joking around with docs. And btw., it also happens that doctors joke around each others and offend each others accidentally (seen it). Because that’s what happens between humans, no matter if they’re a patient, a store customer, the next person on the bus or at your dinner table.

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kirsty had this to say, Dec 30, 2012 @ 7:31 pm (Quote)

Silly doctor, the tonsils are in the mouth, not the vagina… screwing up some exceptionally basic anatomy there doc!

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E had this to say, Dec 31, 2012 @ 1:44 am (Quote)

If my OB said something like this I’d laugh, but that’s her sense of humor. I don’t find anything offensive about it, more like trying to make a lame joke to get the patient comfortable because, well, let’s face it: exams are awkward.

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Megan had this to say, Dec 31, 2012 @ 8:24 am (Quote)

This is mine. Needless to say I think it was a poor attempt at humor that my husband and I did I not see funny. We switched my insurance over to Tricare Prime so I could see a different OB through the military. She ended up being awesome and had great bedside manner and I was happy that we switched!!

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Megan Reply:
December 31st, 2012 at 8:29 am Megan(Quote)

Also, I wasn’t super offended, just felt extremely awkward and I didn’t think it was very appropriate. This was my first pregnancy and first time meeting this doctor. I was just flat out embarrassed, especially because my husband was in the room. The whole visit overall was just awkward, not only because of this “joke”.

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