Dec 052012

“We can talk about your birth preferences at your 37 week appointment.” – Midwife to 4th time mom who had never gone past 35 weeks as she hands her back her birth plan sheet.

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 December 5, 2012  Birth Plan, Midwife, prenatal  Add comments

  28 Responses to ““We Can Talk About Your Birth Preferences At Your 37 Week Appointment.””

  1. If the mom has never gone past 35 weeks, that midwife should definitely remember that, even without looking at the chart! Also, knowing the likelihood of a complication is high (preterm birth) means that there is a lot to discuss as far as preferences go. I cannot stand when care providers do this. My midwife generally schedules the home visit at around 36 weeks. For my sister, whose 36 weeks was around a holiday, she scheduled earlier rather than later, as she has had two babies born just at and just before 37 weeks. It just makes sense.

  2. “Or we can talk about them now. Now works for me.”

    This is one of those moments where I suggest not leaving the exam room until every single question is answered. If the midwife walks out and the nurse walks in to prepare the room for the next patient, you can still be there. “Oh, we weren’t done yet. We still have to discuss my birth preferences.”

  3. I gave my OBGYN my birth plan at my 34 week appointment. He shoved it in the file and said “Okay, we’ll talk about this next time, I’m just swamped today” Every appointment after that I asked if we could discuss it and his reply was always, “Next time, I’m really swamped today” Did this all the way to 41 weeks, he was always too busy.

    The next time I was pregnant, I hired a midwife who spent an hour or more with me at every appointment :)

    • I’m guessing that this was after sitting in the waiting room LONG after your appointment was scheduled to take place, and then waiting in the exam room almost as long?

      • Of course! It wouldn’t be a proper appointment without wasting most of my afternoon in his office, trying to entertain 2 kids and reading every magazine twice.

    • To his credit, he was much better in labor than in his office, I probably wouldn’t have had a successful VBAC with any other doctor there.

  4. Or now. Now would be a good time for me to talk about it. Thanks.

  5. Can we just pretend the midwife was being optimistic?

    • Any plans to extend such optimism to comments made by OB’s in the future?

      • We do that sometimes too. ;-)

      • Any plans to quit your incessant trolling? Seriously, if you’re a health care professional I would never want to go near you.

        • I don’t think Goldilocks is trolling. We have in the past had some entries where we’ve tried to look at the OB’s actions from a positive point of view. Unfortunately in most cases the pink turned up and blew those attempts out of the water (as happened here as well.) But it’s a good point that not only midwives can receive the benefit of the doubt.

        • I am insulted….okay not really my skin is far too thick for that. I am not a health care professional yet and if we meet in real life you would never think of me as Goldilocks, that is the joy of the internet in real life you would never call me a troll and I would never call someone out for the things you say. We would have a respectful conversation and then get on with it.

          • Thanks for sharing your perspective, Goldilocks. I don’t always agree 100% with your stance on some medical treatments but I’ve heard the same ambiguity you do in recent comments. Which leads me to think we live in the same region of the US, far from where these quotes were heard. Idioms,familiarities, greetings, curses can impart drastically different messages depending on the linguistic region.

    • I don’t think any excuse to not go over a patients birth plan could be looked at as optimistic. It’s simply dismissive.

  6. I’d discuss it as early as possible. My ob told me dcc and kangaroo care were not allowed, I was a bad parent for wanting breastfeeding and bonding before bath, and irresponsible for not wanting eye antibiotics and continuous monitoring. I needed time to switch doctors.

    • Holy crap, where was this? The only good things about the hospital I had my youngest at was their total support of breast feeding and kangaroo care, so much that they gave all the new mothers Moby wraps upon discharge.

      • I would’ve loved a free moby! I was given formula samples and told to introduce a paci as soon as possible to avoid “spoiling the baby”. It’s the same hospital in TN I was born in and obviously they haven’t changed much in 23 years.(my daughter is only 10 months old)

  7. How am I supposed to know if I want this OB as my provider that long if they won’t talk to me? Just like anything else, not all OB’s are created equal, each with different views and values. People put more work into buying a car than choosing an OB, and it’s jerks like this that stay in practice because of it.

  8. The NP I saw for all my prenatals never discussed my birth plan with me. I brought it up at 38 weeks, but she said she couldn’t “approve” anything and I should take a copy to the hospital with me. To be fair to her, she did not work at the hospital and wasn’t going to see me after that appointment because they didn’t see women past 38 weeks because there was not an OB on staff.
    However, a midwife should be willing to discuss birth preferences at any point the mother wishes to bring it up, even if it’s at the first appointment or every single appointment.

  9. I just said, what if I don’t make it to next week? So she was not thrilled but she said ok. She read over them, she said I think we can do some of this. I asked to go over it with the doctor. (because we can do some of this? Why won’t you tell me what you see on my list that you know ahead of time you wont do?)

    SO Dr. came in, I had to wait another 30 minutes of course, this was already 2.5 hours after my apt time. He scanned through, said, uh huh, uh huh, ok, ok….like he read it. SO then I pointed out one thing, which we talked about in another post here, my plan asked for me to help lift baby to my chest once it’s born. He said no no no we wont’ do that. So again, just just skimmed plan, grunted in approval, but really, there are things on there you have no intention of allowing, but you don’t think it’s important to let me know NOW which ones those are?

    I really really hate this OB and I wish I could leave him. I am 37 weeks now, and no other place will take me because I am too far along. SIGH

    • For goodness sakes UC if you can or at least realize you can do whatever you want or decline whatever you want. Kick people out, fire them, you’re setting yourself up for a myriad of MOBSW submissions! Do not go in there thinking that you don’t own your birth.

    • I’m so sorry you are stuck with a crappy OB. It would almost be better to show up at the hospital and get a random on-call doc. I don’t know your area, so I don’t know if you have a choice, but if you do you might go to the other hospital when you’re in labor just to avoid them. (I’m assuming you are uncomfortable with the option of UC.) No matter what, I strongly recommend taking a doula or labor support person who is aggressive and will stand up for you. Best wishes.

  10. In the next post you can read what he did to me and you will see why I am seriously considering just using resident on call. I don’t want that man near me ever again.

    • In the previous quote you can read more about this ob. Even though the previous quote was not from that ob some how the topic turned to this, my current situation. To clear up for everyone midwife was speaking for ob when she said we can go over plan at 37 weeks. It wasn’t a rah rah you can make it to 37 weeks as encouragement. it was a you already got your 5 minutes. Moving on.

      More explained in previous quote a out “I am not going to check you”

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