Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Nov
28
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Sometimes It’s Better Not To Make All That Noise.”
“Sometimes its better not to make all that noise.” – OB to mother who was being induced and went from 4 cm to pushing in 20 minutes.
There are 34 comments to this post.
Is there really a time in birth, outside of an emergency (maybe), when being as quiet as possible is the better course of action? I mean, unless you’re using ALL your energy to yell, and it’s draining you, which I suspect is rather rare?
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Rose Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 3:25 pm (Quote)
There are such times. I drew into myself and labored quietly with my second baby. It was what felt right.
Vocalizing is a great way to cope, but nothing in labor is one-size-fits-all.
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Jane Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 3:29 pm (Quote)
I drew into myself too and was very quiet and very focused. But I think the thing is to go with one’s instincts. There isn’t a time during labor (outside a true emergency) when a woman is best served by overriding her instincts in favor of the convenience of others. That would mean talking to a nurse when you just want to pull inside yourself *or* being told by a doctor not to make any noise at all during labor.
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WonderWoman had this to say,
Nov 28, 2012 @ 12:35 pm (Quote)
Ok so here is the whole story to this… I was induced with my second Baby and my OB who is usually an awesome Doc, broke my water when I was at 4cm… He told me “Ok I will see you a little later.” 5 minutes later I was telling my D-Bag LDR Nurse that I had to do #2… She tells me “Oh no you are fine, its just normal pressure..” While I am screaming “But I really have to go! I am gonna poop on myself!” I said F it, and started pushing, thinking to myself “Haha this lady is gonna clean up my poop.” She runs over and checks me and says “Oh no that’s not Poop, that’s your baby’s head!”. My OB comes running in and as I am grunting trying to push this baby out so I don’t feel like I just ate 6 pounds of Taco Bell anymore he thinks his best advice should be “Sometimes its better to not make all that noise.” I wasn’t screaming or looking for an Academy Award or anything, just a little grunting. 4cm to Pushing in 20 minutes. She came so fast part of my placenta wasn’t delivered!
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WonderWoman Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 12:38 pm (Quote)
Oh and she was also a 9 Pounder, who destroyed my lovely lady parts.
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Bonita Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 12:48 pm (Quote)
Circumstances destroy things down there, not necessarily baby size. My nine pounder was born and I was severely injured because of medical intervention. I had two ten pounders after her with none of those problems. I would say your extremely fast birth caused the damage, not baby size. Even a 7lber at that speed would do some major damage.
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WonderWoman Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 12:52 pm (Quote)
I was just saying she was 9lbs and she did some damage. Not that she did damage because she was 9lbs. 
)
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Details Reply:
November 29th, 2012 at 1:22 am (Quote)
You are absolutely amazing, But I think the point was your daughter didn’t do the damage. Your doctor did the damage with his effing induction and AROM. Don’t blame the baby. The baby didn’t sign up to be a human canonball. And the very first thing the nurse should have done was turn off the pit (assuming it was pit) If it was cytotec you should sue. They know that these kinds of things can happen when cytotec is used.
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WonderWoman Reply:
November 29th, 2012 at 11:25 am (Quote)
I certainly was not blaming my Baby, and you should know better to accuse a Mother of “blaming the baby”. Obviously if you say things like that Mama Bear is going to surface and Mother’s tend to get a bit defensive. I would never “blame” my Daughter for anything. I would do it all over again if I had to. As I stated above, “I was just saying she was 9lbs and she did some damage. Not that she did damage because she was 9lbs. ” It was tongue in cheek. As was my original post about the entire birth story. I prefer to go through life with humor. Its how I get from one day to the next. Life is to short to scrutinize and pick apart what other people say and how you choose to interpret it.
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Kate Reply:
November 30th, 2012 at 4:24 am (Quote)
Well said. I was wincing in pain at your labour description and of course you weren’t blaming your baby. With a fast delivery a large baby is far more likely to do some serious damage. My labour was similar to yours- I went from 3cm to baby and placenta out 14 minutes later but as my daughter was less than 3 pounds I didn’t have any vaginal damage. Ouch to a 9 pounder flying out. I also had pitocin induction which made for a quick and very painful labour. I screamed, bellowed and grunted. Well done to you for managing so much pain.
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WonderWoman Reply:
November 30th, 2012 at 6:44 am (Quote)
Thanks! I try not to take things so serious, life is way to short! Pitocin wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, but the contractions after they broke my water were agonizing! When I was pushing I think I was so focused on getting her out I didnt feel a thing.
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Sheva Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 3:44 pm (Quote)
Yowch.
But you are amazing, birthing that fast is so dramatic and intense! I’ve had fast births and attended fast births, but never as fast as you describe. I have no words. Just, wow.
This doc seems to have been trying to salvage whatever pride he could after a bad judgement call by telling you off.
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WonderWoman Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 4:10 pm (Quote)
It was actually kind of scary because with my first birth everything was calm and I barely made any noise… This happened so fast and by the time the L&D nurse figured out what was happening everyone was in total panic mode!
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Sheva Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 6:28 pm (Quote)
It *is* scary. And the fact that they go into panic mode is so stupid, because it makes it scarier than it already is.
It’s birth, people. It’s unpredictable. You need to accept that and internalize it so that when it goes differently than you thought it would, you can redirect calmly and go that way instead. I know it’s intense, I’ve seen births turn in different directions than anticipated, and I know it can be handled either calmly and professionally, or wildly and in panic mode. I’ve seen both. And the latter is very unattractive.
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Jane Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 1:35 pm (Quote)
The doctor said this because you were *grunting*? Has this doctor never watched tennis or weight lifting or martial arts? The world’s best athletes grunt when they exert themselves. Why on earth would a laboring woman not grunt while pushing?
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Amy Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 1:52 pm (Quote)
Because it’s not ladylike.
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Jane Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 2:11 pm (Quote)
Someone better go tell the women’s tennis tournament!
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Lindsay D Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 2:23 pm (Quote)
Surprisingly, this is actually an issue: http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/10/02/maria-sharapova-surprisingly-is-against-grunting-in-tennis/
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Sheva Reply:
November 28th, 2012 at 3:42 pm (Quote)
Yes, but neither is being strung up in stirrups. 
I’m certainly no lady when I give birth, but I sure as heck am as Woman as it gets!!
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I screamed during pushing after the episiotomy and arom with my child and the doctor told me to “shut up” my response was to ask if she wanted to trade places and continued to yell my baby out. 20 minutes of screaming pushes later I had her. It felt normal and relieving to yell while I felt the pain of the episiotomy ripping wider. I felt being suffering in silence would slow my rhythem. A-holes.
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GRR! I heard a nurse say something similar the other day. “Come on, you don’t want the baby to hear all that.” This was during _crowning_, and the unmedicated mother was not even doing that much vocalizing. This nurse seemed annoyed at how “inconvenient” it was to take care of a mom who wasn’t just lying there numb from the waist down. I dearly wanted to boot her from the room.
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It is SO frustrating being told how to sound during labor. “If I could help it, I would!” I wanted to scream at the midwife, after she kept telling me I needed to stop it or I’d get a sore throat the next day. Sore throat the next day??? I’m trying to get through transition!
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Add Your Comment.
OB should follow his own advice/opinion and STFU.
Also, holy crap! I thought my births were fast (3cm to baby in 3 hours or less for the first 3, 4 cm to baby in 5 hours for the fourth). I went from 5cm to 10cm in 20 minutes with the last one and I was going “HNNNGGGGAAAAA” with each contraction because they were incredibly intense and getting pretty painful. So I totally sympathize with you! You were in transition at 4cm!
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