Nov 282012

“It’s not a well known fact because it’s only in special OB reports that i’ve read.” – OB to mother who wanted delayed cord clamping, as the OB went on to explain (incorrectly) the physiology of the umbilical vein and newborn breathing.

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 November 28, 2012  informed consent, newborn, OB, placenta  Add comments

  33 Responses to ““It’s Not A Well Known Fact Because It’s Only In Special OB Reports That I’ve Read.””



    I’m sorry, what I meant to say was — BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! …no, wait, hang on, I’ll get it together…

    Well, the “special Mom reports” I’ve read indicate you’re lying to me. I’m not sure why, but that’s a good one. “Special OB reports.” Gotta remember that.

  2. I just had an image of a homemade “booklet” with “speshul OB reeports” written in crayon on the front.

  3. No matter how hard I try, I cannot fathom how this could be said to a mom in anything but a sarcastic voice.

  4. “May I see a copy?”

    • Oh, goodness, no! It’s only for OBs! You wouldn’t understand it. It’s in special OB language.

    • “Sure. But it’s written in special invisible ink that only OB’s can see.” Said while holding up blank paper.

    • “Oh, please don’t worry your pretty little head about this. You’re doing such hard work in your delicate condition, and you don’t want to use up the brain cells you’ll need so you can learn to diaper the baby. Now be a good little girl and believe my line of hooey.”

  5. Whenever I read OB quotes about how if the cord isn’t immediately clamped/cut (or the baby kept lower then the mom, or whatever) the baby bleeds out, or the blood flows back to mom, or any other devastating result.. I always want to track down that OB and be like, “REALLY?! Have you ever seen this happen? Has it ever happened in your hospital? Ever read a case study where this happened? Had an emergency case where this happened in a home birth and you had to “clean up the mess”?” I mean seriously, at least for other scare tactics its usually something that does, rarely, occur! But delayed cord clamping risks? Complete fiction. If an OB “doesn’t do VBAC” because of a fear of rupture.. well, at least thats a fear of something that *actually could occur*. OB “doesn’t delay cord clamping” is behaving 100% irrationally.

    • Well a few months ago- on this very site- I had a pediatrician try to tell me that she frequently has to treat infants for polycythemia because of crazy people like us who delay the clamping. She went on to advance the theory that polycythemia was also responsible for the high infant mortality rates of the past. *headdesk*

      • I’ve never heard of polycythemia before, but I just looked it up. That pediatrician’s theory sounds like rubbish! If polycythemia occurs when too much red blood cells are produced, does she mean to say that the blood left in the cord/placenta contains a higher proportion of red blood cells than the blood in the baby’s body at the time of birth?

  6. By “special OB reports” do you mean something you read on She-who-must-not-be-named’s site? I’m absolutely sure there’s nothing from ACOG about the “dangers” of delayed cord clamping.

  7. Really? Well, my mom, who is an MD, was a high-ranking health official in the US government and still consults for big pharma. She has subscriptions to PubMed and all the published studies on pretty much everything, ever, so if you could just let me know the name of the “report”…

    • Dreamy,
      Have you told your mother you are on this site? Or are you the black sheep of the family? Lol!
      (as in not all docs that would consult with big Pharma would like the comments on this site)

  8. Really? well, I have all kinds of factual evidence right here with me, I printed them out this morning.

    Maybe you could print me out a copy of that *airqotes* “Special” OB report. I love catching up on the newest medical based care alternatives.

  9. OK, really everybody? The OB is totally right on this one. Didn’t you know that our ancestors, without the special clamps, ALL DIED? Yup, every single baby died without immediate cord clamping. Still happens in countries without advanced medical care from OBs reading special reports. That’s why there’s no crowding in places like India and Africa. (((Sarcasm)))

    • I’m glad I read past the second sentence. You sounded totally serious in the first two. :D
      So, basically, until people discovered cord clamps, when they were still biting or tying or lotus birthing, they all died? And we’re here now because of magic? So cool. I did NOT know that.

    • When I kept running into quotes like this OB’s, I started to wonder about all of the other mammals. I know they have umbilical cords, but what happens to them? I found out that the mother does not find a sharp rock and cut it. In fact, it’s never even clamped. The baby just walks around with it on until it gets ripped off. It’s amazing to me that some people seriously think that clamping and cutting are vitally necessary. To be clear, I realize that you were joking. I just wanted to add to the conversation.

  10. Ugh. I hate this. I heard this from my aunt who is a nurse when we were having a discussion about the dangers of epidural medication. I reminded her that I work at the NIH and have access to any journal and would be interested i tn checking out that classified info. Her mouth shut so fast that I heard her teeth click.

  11. It never ceases to amaze me how much trouble some doctors are willing to go through just to save a few minutes at a birth. I bet this whole explanation about the special OB sciency stuff took longer than the cord would take to stop pulsating.

  12. You read the wrong reports, Mr. or Mrs. OB. Try again (and see pubmed instead).

  13. I pictured the “Bowler Hat Guy” from Meet the Robinsons saying this.

  14. Professionals reading here: Do not do this. Seriously, do NOT do this. Do not lie. We can read. If we live near a public library, or have a family member with the right professional certifications, we can even go online to read the exact same publications that you do.

    If you don’t know why a policy is in place, fully and freely admit this and promise to find out why. (And then go do it.)

    If you can’t recall offhand why you want your client to do or not do something, fully and freely admit this and make a note to yourself immediately to find the citation you need. And make sure your client gets to read the citation.

    If you have a personal preference that you want your client to follow, fully and freely admit this and ask if the client is willing to honor your personal preference. If she says no, don’t be an ass by doing it anyway.

    I estimate that more than half of the submissions that end up here boil down to “Provider wanted me to believe they were omniscient/omnipotent, I wasn’t having with that, they got pissy.”

    Your godlike powers are pastede on yey.

  15. This is the only website where I break my “Never read the comments” rule & I’m (almost) always glad I did! I’m cracking up over here! I love you guys!

  16. Funny, i read in the OB/GYN journal in your waiting room that not only is yearly pap testing unnecessary, every 2-3 years is what they reccomend, and that many HPV infections in young women are also transient and clear up on their own, so, i guess you are going to follow those guidelines too?

  17. “If you can’t impress them with your brilliance, dazzle them with bs” shouldn’t work in medical professions

  18. Welp, I guess now we know where all the OBs featured here are getting their information from…

  19. No one is going to point out that “special OB reports” could go by the shorthand “S-O-B”??? Not to reference she who must not be named, but cracking up over here. If I was having a good day where I was quick with the come backs, I’d totally say “Oh you mean you’re not just an OB, you’re a SOB!?!” ;)

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