Nov 212012
 

“So you are placing this baby for adoption?” – L&D Nurse to mother in labor when she found out the mother was single.

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 November 21, 2012  L&D Nurse  Add comments

  12 Responses to ““So You Are Placing This Baby For Adoption?””

  1. Murphy Brown ring a bell? Somebody doesn’t get out much. The correct time to bring up this topic is never never during labor unless the mom brings it up herself.

  2. Sigh. This was said in the 1950s, I hope. Not that it was any better to say to a mother then.

  3. Brain in gear before mouth… Brain in gear before mouth…

    Totally agree with pp – the correct time to bring this up is NEVER unless the mother mentions it first.

  4. Cos I single mother has NEVER raised a child by herself! Ugh! The stupidity!

  5. Sadly this was recently and not 1950.
    The nurse had just asked mom if she had a carseat and was talking about how she decorated the nursery. Then asked mom about where her husband was and she said the father was not involved. She then asked her if she was placing the baby for adoption. I just sat there in shock.
    This nurse also asked mom if the doctor wanted her to have a csection instead because shes a small woman and no baby can fit. She showed them. :)

    • So… she was thinking this mom bought a carseat and decorated a nursery for a baby she was giving up for adoption??

    • I think it’s worth reporting the nurse for

      1) not reading the chart
      and
      2) telling the mother in effect that her obstetrician was incompetent.

      I would stress that the nurse’s words about the cesarean could be interpreted by a nervous mother as her doctor being incapable of diagnosing a “too large” baby, thereby undermining the mother’s faith in the hospital. Also, if a woman was scheduled for a cesarean section, this should be indicated in her file. AND if the mother was making an adoption plan, I believe this would be indicated too.

      Therefore it would be fine to write to the hospital stressing that nurses should not be second-guessing doctors, and they should not be prejudiced against young mothers, and most hospitals’ best practices include familiarizing yourself with the patient chart.

      I’m glad the mom showed the nurse. :-) She sounds like a strong woman.

  6. “Hi, there, I am technically your birth assistant, but I think my job is to lean in there and joggle your elbow, so to speak, while you’re trying to focus on this strenuous job, so I’m going to heap a little extra stress on you here . . . la la la la lee . . . oh look Doctor, she’s in distress! Shall I prep the scalpels? *tee hee*”

    If you can’t say anything helpful, don’t say anything at all!

  7. Maybe the hospitals around here are weird- but at two different facilities asking if the baby was up for adoption was a standard check-in question. And that was with DH standing next to me. Both times they asked him after that question to step out and asked me if DH was abusing me. It was just a SOP for those hospitals.

  8. geee nurse are you trying to get fired with such an idiotic and insensitive comment? Way to insult a majority of families out there.

  9. No way, too big of a hassle. I thought I’d just pack baby into a box, name her Nermal and mail her off to Abu Dhabi.

  10. As someone who is placing their baby for adoption this is still horrible. Sure it’s awkward when people ask if I’ve picked a name and so on and I explain that I chose adoption but for someone to ASSUME that would make me feel like crap! I think it’s safe to say adoption should only ever be brought up by the mother.

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