Oct 312012

“Do you want to go ahead and abort the baby since we know that you are going to lose the baby anyways?” – OB to mother pregnant after a miscarriage.

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 October 31, 2012  OB, pregnancy loss  Add comments

  34 Responses to ““…We Know You Are Going To Lose The Baby Anyway?””

  1. Another psychic doctor!

  2. I REALLY hope that I am not getting this right.

    Was this said to a mother who had previously experienced a miscarriage and was now pregnant again?

    The wording seems like it might be said to a mother who was pregnant, had a miscarriage and the nurse was asking to abort before the miscarriage was complete.

    Either way, OP I am sorry for your loss and this horrible comment.

  3. Translation: I felt powerless during your last miscarriage and I don’t like that. I’d rather convince you to abort and maintain control than feel powerless in the small chance you miscarry again. And then I’ll sell you birth control so I can maintain control and charge you for it.

    There, fixed it for you, Doc.

    OP, I hope you switched doctors and had a healthy baby :)

  4. WTF? Major logic fail!!! One miscarriage doesn’t every pregnancy will end in a miscarriage. Most women have at least one. Instead of terminating the pregnancy how about you run some tests and keep a close eye on hormone levels & such.

  5. ? Is that saying that a new baby after a miscarried baby is ALSO going to be miscarried? I must be misunderstanding that, as that would mean that no woman would have a baby after they miscarried once. So how’d I get DS, who came after 4 miscarriages?

    • Statistically, one in every three pregnancies end in early miscarriage, so they are pretty common. However, one (or more) miscarriage doesn’t mean all of your pregnancies will be miscarriages. I had three “perfect,” easy, and awesome pregnancies, then three miscarriages, then another full-term live birth. Naturally I was so worried after getting that positive because of my history, but I knew that my prior miscarriages didn’t automatically mean I was going to lose that baby as well and now I have a totally precious almost 2mo sleeping next to me while I type this.

  6. Taking the “pregnancy-and-birth=disaster-waiting-to-happen therefore women-need-to-be-saved-from-themselves” equation to a whole new level, aren’t you doc?

    OP, I’m so sorry for your loss and so sorry you had to deal with this idiot. :(

  7. i had a previous misscarrage and the doctor asked when i got pregnant agian if i wanted to go ahead and abort the new pregnancy
    yes i switched doctors and i have a beautiful 22 month old little boy now

    • 0.0



      Holy. CRAP.

      Dr. Derpderpderp has no business having a license.


      Lots of women miscarry – does this doctor really think that if you miscarry once it means you will always miscarry every other pregnancy? How many women has he duped this way? I’m glad you walked out that door and have your son with you now!

    • What?!
      What a jerk of a doctor.
      I swear some people just like that feeling of being able to control everything. I would’ve pitched a fit.
      I’m sorry for your initial loss and glad you got away from this person. Congrats on your healthy toddler.=)

    • *hugs* So happy to read you didn’t stick around for that kind of abuse and now have a healthy little one. Sorry you had to go through the loss and then that kind of abuse.

    • You have a zombie baby!

  8. If that “logic” was true, I wouldn’t be alive today. Neither would my 2 younger brothers.

  9. yeah i was pissed i just got up and walked out and told him he can shove the abortion up his ass

  10. These posts always make me sad for all the docs other patients who are uninformed enough to listen.

  11. O_O *eyes falling out of head at the crap I just had to read*
    No way that this comment could be appropriate in any of all parallel universes, or our current one.

  12. So now not only is it “once a c-section always a c-section” it is “once a miscarriage, always a miscarriage”…….wtf? My brain just shrived and died a bit reading this.

    • Uh, yeah, WTH? After my miscarriage, I discovered that probably 75% of the women close to me had had a miscarriage, and literally all of those had at least one child after having miscarried. I know that doesn’t ALWAYS apply, of course, but it’s so, so common to miscarry that if “once a miscarriage, always a miscarriage” were true, then probably at least 25% of women would never be able to have kids, period, and another 25-50% would have only one kid. And that’s only counting women who know they miscarried, not the ones who miscarried before 5-6 weeks and never realized they were pregnant! If we included them, I’d wager half of all women would be *completely* “infertile.”

  13. I guess that means all 3 of my boys are zombies then, if one miscarriage means you can’t carry a pregnancy to term. Good news, boys, you won’t be needing those zombie costumes after all!

  14. What kind of idiot doctor says something like that??? Seriously? I had 7, yes SEVEN failed pregnancies before I went on to deliver a healthy 7.5 pound boy at 39 weeks along. One loss was even just 2 weeks before conceiving my son. He’s perfect and he’s healthy…

    A loss DOES NOT mean that you won’t ever have a healthy pregnancy.

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  15. ok, so i read it 2 ways first the way everyone else did but then it sounded like maybe this doctor thinks that miscarriages happen because the baby is unwanted, therefore this new pregnancy must also be unwanted, thats the only reason i could come up with for a doctor to suggest a termination of a healthy pregnancy. its disgusting, no doctor should EVER suggest pregnancy, if a woman does not want to continue the pregnancy then she will already know that and tell the doctor,

  16. And pro-choice people accuse pro-life people of shoving an agenda down their throats… This is clearly a pro-choice doctor pushing his agenda on his patient.

  17. Well, sure. Deliberately killing a baby always makes a woman feel better after losing a baby naturally. ::sigh:: This one is just heart wrenching. I’m so sorry, OP. Glad you were able to carry this baby to term!

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