Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jun
6
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…You’ve Gained Plenty. The Baby Will Grow Off Of What You Have.”
“You should not gain any more weight from here on out. You’ve gained plenty. The baby will grow off of what you have.” ~ OB Medical Assistant to mom at 24 weeks gestation. It was the first appointment the mom had gained instead of lost weight in her pregnancy.
There are 36 comments to this post.
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama had this to say,
Jun 6, 2012 @ 5:43 am (Quote)
“Plenty” has been redefined to mean “a few lbs?” Also, despite that the majority of the baby’s weight will be added in the remaining 16-ish weeks of pregnancy and that more fluid and other “weight” will need to be added, and that the baby is relying on mom to eat a healthy diet and gain a steady amount of weight to support him/her…. We can SUBVERT all that by having the baby grow off what she already has! Does this person even understand the physiology of pregnancy?
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Mom of One had this to say,
Jun 6, 2012 @ 6:13 am (Quote)
Not mine but I had a similar experience. I had my first weight gain at my six month appointment too (5 whole pounds!) and was told to slow down and not gain so much weight!
I wish doctors would realize that pregnancy is one of the few times their patients should gain some weight 
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Missy Reply:
June 7th, 2012 at 10:11 am (Quote)
Sounds to me like a case of not looking at the history. Someone just saw a 5 lb. weight gain in one week and thought, “Woah! 5 lbs. a week is way too much!” Nevermind that an extra minute spent looking at previous weights would reveal that you were doing fine, and probably NEEDED those 5 lbs. that week!
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How rude. I bet the OP is in good shape and only will gain while pregnant.Besides, from what I heard it is healthy to gain up to 25lbs. Although I always lost weight with pregnancy, I know others who gain. But there is no science behind it, unless you aren’t eating healthy for your baby and you. Besides, hormones and weight can effect each other I think. well once again didn’t seem like the doctor had any logic behind this
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Details Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 6:25 am (Quote)
Up to 25 lbs??? 21-25 lbs is normal. I usually gained 40. Lossing weight while pregnant is not normal. Medical Assistants who have less training than nurses shouldn’t be spouting off AT ALL. They should write the number down and leave the advice to the doctor. Doctors who are fat phobic should not be workig with pregnant women. And everybody needs to look at the growth curve and take the overall trend into consideration rather than knee jerking it based on one number.
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Darsy Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 6:35 am (Quote)
I usually lose weight as well, but I was overweight with each pregnancy and I could tell that I basically lost ‘bad’ weight and gained baby/baby support weight, where the latter didn’t catch up to the former, if that makes sense. So while it’s usually not good to lose weight while pregnant, it’s not always a really bad thing.
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Details Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 7:10 am (Quote)
Exactly, lossing weight during pregnancy should be a warning sign/red flag. It should never be considered normal. Overall health should be the focus. If a woman is overweight and lossing weight I would want to check fundal height and make sure she was lossing bad weight and gaining good weight and baby was growing well and had a nice heartbeat. That is not something a medical assistant can diagnosis from the scales.
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Ella Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 5:24 pm (Quote)
I agree with Darsy, as I am the same case as her.
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Details Reply:
June 7th, 2012 at 5:14 am (Quote)
My only disagreement with you was the concept that 25 lbs. was an absolute limit for a healthy pregnancy. I understand that if you have weight problems you are probably sensitive to these types of dicussions, but you shouldn’t be buying into the concept that if you gain 26 lbs that something is terribly wrong with you or with your baby.
OTOH if you lose weight during pregnancy I would expect the doctor or midwife to pay attention to make sure you aren’t experiencing IUGR rather than ignoring a potential problem just because you happen to have started out over weight (at least during a first pregnancy.) If you follow the same pattern a 2nd or 3rd time or your mom or sister did the same thing I supposed they could safely ingore it. And they should never panic, but they should be watchful and helpful.
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Helen Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 6:52 am (Quote)
Details, yes – this exactly! She wasn’t even a nurse, OR a mother (I’d give her a little grace if an OB had told her some lie in pregnancy about her own weight). She honestly was just fat shaming me and encouraging me to do something that could harm my baby for her own vanity.
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Bonita Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 1:53 pm (Quote)
Up to 25lbs? Where are you? 1950? I have gained anywhere from 25lbs to 45lbs in pregnancy and each time have had a healthy baby and have been healthy myself.
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vanessa Reply:
June 7th, 2012 at 6:05 am (Quote)
Actually, the current guidelines are between 25-35lbs, more if mom starts out underweight, a little bit less if mom starts out overweight. It’s all about what foods the mom eats though, 35 lbs on chips and coke is not the same thing as 35 lbs on a healthy diet.
In any case, medical assistants have no business giving advice like this.
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This is me!
This woman had no clue about the physiology of pregnancy. Her job was to take my blood pressure and weight (and keep her mouth shut, as far as I am concerned). I was 65 pounds overweight when I got pregnant, thanks to hyperemesis I lost 20 of those pounds before I started gaining. Of course, she couldn’t have even bothered to look at my previous weights before opening her trap. She just saw a weight that started with a 2 and judged me.
My midwife came in the room after the CNA dropped this bomb, and gave me three cheers for gaining those few pounds because it meant the Zofran was finally working!
I still kick myself for not having the moxy to tell the midwife about what the CNA told me; I was younger then and didn’t want to get her in trouble…now, of course, I know she deserved a little trouble to learn not to say things like that to other women!
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And all pregnant women, everywhere, would be much better served if drs gave them council on healthy eating habits and making wise food choices (in a kind and sensitive manner), than just throwing the word (or implication) of FAT at them and walking away. Geez, docs. This is why so many of us hate you!
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Canuckmum Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 7:20 am (Quote)
Yes, counseling women on healthy eating in pregnancy rather than focusing on numbers would be so much better! The AVERAGE weight gain in a healthy pregnancy is 35 lbs. I gained 45 in my first pregnancy, which I started underweight, and 18 lbs in my last pregnancy, which I started overweight. Both were healthy pregnancies! OB’s should direct their clients to http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com since they know nothing about nutrition.
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Jenny Islander Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 10:15 am (Quote)
It scares me when medical professionals act as if a pregnant woman should only gain “baby weight.” A healthy pregnancy causes the body to manufacture more blood, store extra water, make extra fat* deposits, and create amniotic fluid, all for the sake of the baby. The number on the scale is supposed to go up!
*Yes, I used the F word. Fat. Fat fat faaaaaaaat. Fat is stored energy. Do you know the difference between bodybuilders and people who actually use their muscles? People who actually use their big bulging muscles to do stuff also tend to have big bulging bellies. Fat is your gas tank.
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Kasondra Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 10:52 am (Quote)
Not to mention that stored fat is VERY useful for breastfeeding…
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JoyFilledMom Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 7:55 pm (Quote)
This is why I am so good at breastfeeding! All of my pregnancies, I gained no less than 50 lbs! And after breastffeding ended, the weight came off too…
Drs always comment on the weight gain; my midwife was much more accepting. Especially knowing my family’s history of weight gain during pregnancy.
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Kasondra Reply:
June 7th, 2012 at 5:13 am (Quote)
With my first I gained 50+ lbs. My doctor didn’t freak out (she was an awesome resident). When I got pregnant again and chose a HB midwife I mentioned the previous gain and asked if it would be a problem and she said something like “As long as you and baby are healthy and your diet is good (not eating crap) I don’t care how much you gain.” I only gained 30 something but it was nice to not have to freak out at each appt.
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This crap really makes me mad. I need to lose about 30lbs. I’ve asked my docs if they are concerned about my weight and I’ve gotten a shrugged shoulder, “well yeah, it would be good if you lost weight.” But no “Would you like a referral to a dietician/nutritionist?” or even a “Yeah if you lost weight, your risk for XYZ would decrease.” However, the moment I’m pregnant every one in the free world is concerned about my weight- but no advice other than “Eat Healthy.” (Really? Because the only thing that doesn’t make me throw up or have hideous heartburn is a sonic cheeseburger. I’d love to eat a salad, but I physically cannot keep it down.) I’ve gained about 30lbs with each pregnancy, and lost it and some with my oldest with no problem. The youngest’s baby weight is clinging to me for dear life. So to the MA in the OP, I salute you. With both middle fingers.
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I’m a big gal too (and wound up losing ~15 lbs in my first trimester just because I had NO APPETITE,) and my first OB told me, “I don’t want you to gain more than 10-15 pounds by the end of your pregnancy.” That was it. No discussion of nutrition, no exercise talk, no mention of the fact that my family generally has big babies (~8-10 lbs) so when you add the extra blood volume, placenta, baby, water weight, etc. she actually wanted me to LOSE fat through my pregnancy…well, I’ll just say I wasn’t impressed.
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amy Reply:
June 7th, 2012 at 2:36 am (Quote)
exactly! it’s infuriating. I switched to a midwife at 26 weeks for many reasons, but the last straw was the fact that I felt constantly bullied about my weight. I explained that prior to pregnancy I needed to run up to 4 miles a day and eat a restricted diet just to maintain my weight (which sure, was higher, but my health was/is great…I honestly do have a crap metabolism) and I could tell the doctor believed I was just flat out lying to her and then going home and devouring entire pizzas, because what else could explain weight gain….during pregnancy!!!! when I switched to my midwife I almost hugged her when she said “I could care less what your actual weight is, but let’s spend some time talking about nutrition” and proceeded to give me some excellent, common sense information that has made a difference. why on earth could my doctor have not shared this kind of info with me? it was so easy and has led to even better eating for me??
OBs need to understand that most of us have been battling our weight OUR ENTIRE LIVES. seriously. we’re not stupid, and it sucks. and when you give us advice like “don’t gain too much weight” that doesn’t mean anything. for me I kept hearing “restrict what you eat, exercise to the point of exhaustion”, which is what I’ve done forever, but something I am NOT willing to do during pregnancy.
anyway, the point of this long-winded rant is that yes, doctors should giving out good nutritional information instead of just making us feel like fat criminals.
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some people are way too catty with replies, I think I will unsubscribe. You guys make it very unpleasant to post here, arguing with other posters who are not arguing with you.
sorry to hear OP you had such an ignorant person open her trap at you with out checking any charts or in general raining on your parade.
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lilmrsmchenry Reply:
June 6th, 2012 at 5:47 pm (Quote)
Sorry you felt unwelcome. It can be hard to read the tone of written messages and sometimes even well meaning messages can come across as snarky or catty. I think the other girls were just trying to point out the 25 lbs is the minimum weight goal that should be given in a normal pregnancy and the mother is of average weight to begin with. Many women gain more not only because of high calorie diets, but it can also be because of hormone fluctuation, water retention, diabetes, etc.
“A woman of average weight before pregnancy should gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. Underweight women should gain 28-40 pounds during pregnancy. Overweight women may need to gain only 15-25 pounds during pregnancy.” http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/healthy-weight-gain
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Tee Reply:
June 7th, 2012 at 12:03 pm (Quote)
Ella, some of the replies you got were poorly worded, in my opinion, and I’m very sorry that they are making you feel unwelcomed. I agree with them in the sense that a 25 pound weight gain should not be the maximum but believe that some replies could have been much better worded. There was no need for anyone to be ugly towards you.
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my friend is pregnant now and is gaining weight and was concerned, because she gained 15lbs so far about half way through. She is having a healthy pregnancy and isn’t overweight. She was thinking to eat less food. I told her that although I had lost weight, I was overweight and actually ate healthy during pregnancy. She is in shape before and shouldn’t be worried anyway, because even if she wasn’t in shape, its normal to gain. I told her that if she is hungry she should eat. Not pig out, just eat till she is full. Because she told me she is way hungrier now.
See, I was 50lbs overweight with my 2nd baby, and I lost it all during pregnancy as I had GD and was on a strict diet because I didn’t want the baby to get diabetes. The docs scared me and had me monitor myself with those prickle blood tests every day 4 times a day. She doesn’t seem to have that problem.
I always gain weight after I am done breastfeeding, unlike most women who lose weight when done. I do know people who gain 50lbs and more during pregnancy and lose it. Weight is a sensitive subject for me as I had battled it all my life even though I wasn’t heavy, just always bigger than girls in my class.
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Lindsay Reply:
June 7th, 2012 at 12:54 pm (Quote)
I am not big by any means, and I lost weight during my pregnancy. I was so excited to see that I was to my prepregnancy weight the day I delivered him (before I had him). However, I was told I needed to lose weight at my six week appointment when I was five pounds under! I’ve always struggled with my weight, tryingng to gain without eating crap, and I was a cheerleader for many years and was told by many to lose it. Now, I’ve increased my weight by ten pounds! The reason was my son quit nursing and I gained weight. No one believes that some women gain, and I’m happy to have heard from someone who also has this so-called problem! 
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Ach, this one makes me so angry! Women have enough pressure to look the way society deems “beautiful.” No woman should feel pressured to look a certain way! Of course being within a certain weight is healthy. (I’m referring to women that aren’t pregnant at this point.) But just because a person is obese doesn’t mean that they aren’t beautiful and that is what today’s society portrays. It saddens me.
And a pregnant woman should NOT have to hear this kind of nonsense, especially when this is the first visit where they have actually gained weight! Yes, there are guidelines as to how much weight a pregnant woman should gain but they are just that… guidelines! They are not written in stone. As with everything else in pregnancy, it varies from woman to woman. You have to look at so much more than just the numbers on a scale and chart! I don’t understand why doctors can’t get that and quite frankly, I’ve seen pregnant women be seriously harmed by trying to abide a doctor’s wishes in this sense!
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I had my OB say the exact same thing to me a few weeks into my pregnancy. I’m a recovering anorexic, and I weighed under 100 lbs pre-pregnancy. I had gained back to my healthy weight, and I was really proud of myself; it was a terrible struggle to gain back 25 lbs with morning sickness. My OB told me that I should “stop over-eating!” because I’d gain too much weight.
Luckily I transferred care to a great midwife and started seeing a dietitian who specializes in ED treatment. It’s still hard to gain weight, but my babe is growing at a steady rate.
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“Please don’t take it personally. I say this to every mom who comes through my office because I have issues with women and weight. No, there’s no science behind what I’ve just said, why?”
OP: Did you ask the OB whether what the medical assistant said was authorized by the practice?
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