May 29

“Was It Vaginal Or Cesarean Section?”

“Was it vaginal or cesarean section?”- OB office nurse to mom at 6-week postpartum visit, immediately after being told the baby was born at home.

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There are 76 comments to this post.

Kix had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:19 pm (Quote)

C section, performed it myself! *Facepalm*

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Tee Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 5:24 pm Tee(Quote)

Was your cat your scrub nurse?

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Sarah Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 6:38 pm Sarah(Quote)

And the dog was the anesthesiologist

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Elfinugget Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 7:44 pm Elfinugget(Quote)

…and if you’d like the surgery notes, the parrot took them down…

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Tee Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 9:22 pm Tee(Quote)

And here I assumed that the hamster was the anesthesiologist. Shows how much I know!

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Aunt4God Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 9:47 pm Aunt4God(Quote)

The ferrets were the reporters….gotta have 15 mins of fame for the new homebirth procedures!

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Kix Reply:
June 11th, 2012 at 12:37 am Kix(Quote)

Lol, gotta love a bunch of sarcastic crunchy women!

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Jane Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 5:41 pm Jane(Quote)

Home theater, operating theater — is there REALLY that big of a difference?

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OldMaman Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 7:04 am OldMaman(Quote)

My eyes are watering, I’m laughing so hard. XD

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kate myers had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:19 pm (Quote)

:rolls eyes: a home cesarean would have made the news.

Also? this “type of birth” question was on my daycare registration forms. We put down “successful.”

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Veronica Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 5:30 pm Veronica(Quote)

I like your answer. Especially for a daycare. What difference does where the baby came out of make for a daycare?

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Lindsay Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 5:44 pm Lindsay(Quote)

I can’t remember why but there was a news story I had heard about that apparently had a valid reason for this being on school registration forms. Seemed like a dumb question to me too.

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Mama Wrench Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 6:30 pm Mama Wrench(Quote)

I can think of a few reasons. C-section birth might indicate that the baby had problems prior to or during birth (prematurity, for instance) or increased likelihood of asthma.

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Sarah Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 6:41 pm Sarah(Quote)

Seems like this would be a more appropriate question because while babies born by section *may* be more prone to certain problems, a c-section certainly isn’t a definite indicator any more than vaginal birth is an automatic indicator that a child had no problems at birth.

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Nica Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 6:10 pm Nica(Quote)

Srsly, LOVE the answer to that question. What the heck kind of question is that for a daycare form???

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Katie B Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 6:15 pm Katie B(Quote)

I understand why my chiropractor asks about mode of birth – it affects how the skeleton hangs and whatnot, but why would school need to know?!

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Tee had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:24 pm (Quote)

Lemonade, meet computer monitor! What a stupid question! Wow, it’s obvious this nurse spends way too much time reading questions off her little checklist!

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wellroundedbirthprep Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 5:27 pm wellroundedbirthprep(Quote)

^^^ that.

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Rubi G. had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:25 pm (Quote)

I have no words. This just proves that some people don’t listen and pay attention to what’s being said.

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Jessica had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:27 pm (Quote)

Why, I had both! Little one just shot right out of me, so we stuffed him back in and used the kitchen table as an operating table.

But seriously, does the nurse even listen when asking the questions?

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Kristy had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:34 pm (Quote)

C-section. Daddy had a butter knife and I bit on a bullet. Latest thing. Get with the times.

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Your Name had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:34 pm (Quote)

Well, there was that one woman who performed a c-section on herself at home a few years ago.
Sure, that was the only known instance in recorded history; but it’s possible, so you might as well ask, right?
That’s sarcasm, BTW…

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Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:37 pm (Quote)

I figured when I saw the synopsis it had to be a home birth, or else this wouldn’t have been a stupid question. But given that it was…. Oh my. Think before you speak.

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Becca had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 5:53 pm (Quote)

Yes, my vampire husband used his teeth to get our child out. Didn’t you read that book like everyone else on the planet?

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mharry Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 7:17 pm mharry(Quote)

Then ma’am; I have terrible news; you’re freakish hybrid child is severely underdeveloped. She should be, like, 5 by now and talking to people with her mind powers.

Imma stop there, because those books…… yeah.

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jenni Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 10:33 am jenni(Quote)

ok, i read everything above this, but THIS one made me lose it! LOL.

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Marlene had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 6:01 pm (Quote)

Wait, didn’t the midwife do that in Chris Bohjalian’s book, “Midwives”? And there was a real self- inflicted C/S I read about several yrs ago, in S. Am, I think. So I guess it was a legit question. Still, I would be tempted to answer; “C/S. Buster here sharpened up the chainsaw, while guzzled a bottle of moonshine I had out in the shed, Jr. iced my belly up real good like, Then poured a whole bottle of my best stuff on it so’en how there wouldn’t be no germs or nut’in git in. Buster wuz real careful-like gitten that lil’un out o’there. Then mammy came an sewed me up, real neat, causen she’s the best quilter this side o th’holler.”

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Jane Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 4:08 am Jane(Quote)

In the Bohjalian book, the laboring mother died and the midwife removed the baby by performing a c-section in the house so the baby would live. THe story question that drives the whole novel (and the trial that follows) is whether the woman was actually dead at the time she performed the c-section.

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Jessica had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 6:01 pm (Quote)

I believe the question on school forms is for research.

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denise had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 6:14 pm (Quote)

OMG- my pedi’s nurse asked the same thing at my daughter’s first well visit! She asked where she was born. When I said at home she asked if it was a planned home-birth & did I have an attendant. We chatted at length about the birth & then the next question she asked was “was it a vaginal birth?”. I just gave her The Look until she realized how stupid the question was & apologized for reading the form instead of paying attention.

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adrienne had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 6:45 pm (Quote)

I babysat a kid who was born by c/s. when he asked his mom how babies come out, she said the doctor cut her open, pulled him out, and sewed her back up again. naturally he thought all babies came this way, and when he found out I was not going ot a hosptial, freaked out about how I was gonna get sewn up again.

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AmandaPN Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 7:07 pm AmandaPN(Quote)

My son was born by c/s. He knows he was cut out of me. However, he knows that his sister came out of my “body” as he likes to say (we do use proper terms). I can’t imagine not teaching my kids the proper way of things, even if it is only as they ask.

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SuzyHomemaker Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 12:10 am SuzyHomemaker(Quote)

When I was about 4 years old I asked my father that same question. Being that he was not too well equipped to be a single parent, he panicked and told me that he wasn’t sure how babies were born because he found me under a rock. He kept that story up so much so that 2 years later I still believed it and even repeated it to my teacher in school. Needless to say she called him in for a very awkward parent-teacher conference.

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Angie Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 7:58 am Angie(Quote)

My dad (teasingly) told my brother something similar… that a tornado sucked him up from the lake and dropped him by a rock in my grandparents’ pasture. He told his class in school and they had a talk to my parents!

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Kit Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 4:25 pm Kit(Quote)

My cousin’s daughter asked me where babies come from, and since when I told a previous baby cousin the (age appropriate) truth, I got my ass chewed, i told her mommies and daddies buy them at the mall. Except for her, we bought her out of the trunk of a flea market seller’s car along with a knock off gucci bag and some sunglasses.

My cousin had the hard task of scolding me while laughing her ass off.

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Kix Reply:
June 11th, 2012 at 12:49 am Kix(Quote)

Omg, all 3 of yourmcomments have me laughing so hard right now! My daddy used to tell me the nurse in my hospital pic was my real mother. And they kidnapped me and havebeen trykng to return me since I started talking.. fyi, I am virtually albino and the nurse was black which is what actually made the joke funny, otherwise I wojld have just been tramatized by the joke. To this day my daddy says my reals mother called and wants me back!

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Lizzie K Reply:
November 19th, 2012 at 8:59 pm Lizzie K(Quote)

Growing up, my dad would do something silly or crazy and I would then announce that I swear I was adopted. He always replied that yes, I was. But they brought me back! lol

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LG had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 7:03 pm (Quote)

This was nearly a spray-my-beverage-all-over-my-computer moment.

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OldMaman had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 7:14 pm (Quote)

The stoopid…it burns.

LOL

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Debbie had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 7:34 pm (Quote)

It’s such a pleasure to see something here that makes me laugh instead of making me sad and/or mad. I think this is absolutely hilarious!

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Summer had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 7:38 pm (Quote)

Ignoring this ob’s stupidity… Why would she call the child “it”

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Elfinugget Reply:
May 29th, 2012 at 7:47 pm Elfinugget(Quote)

She was rferring to the birth process, not the child.

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Christina had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 7:55 pm (Quote)

Maybe she had just read the last Twilight and forgot she was in the real world? I hope the poster just laughed at her!

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Eutheria had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 8:45 pm (Quote)

The nurse at my son’s first pediatrician visit said the same thing right after I told her it was a home birth. My husband and I sort of chuckled and she did too, said “Oops, obviously vaginal,” and apologized for being so used to her standard line of questioning.

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first time mommy had this to say, May 29, 2012 @ 9:53 pm (Quote)

C-section! DH and I bought a BRAND SPANKIN NEW set of the latest knives for this occasion!!

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Joanna had this to say, May 30, 2012 @ 12:07 am (Quote)

Oh, the stupid hurts! Make it stop!

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Jewels had this to say, May 30, 2012 @ 4:06 am (Quote)

You’d think this *should* be a really uncommon train of thought & yet when I was planning a homebirth, the amount of people who asked what we were going to do if I needed a C-section was actually quite astounding! It got to the point where I got tired of saying “Um, go to the hospital? Duh!” & was sorely tempted to start replying with “Well, while the midwives are numbing my belly with ice cubes, my husband will sterilise the steak knife with vodka….”

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Jane Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 4:13 am Jane(Quote)

I suspect a lot of people think birth is one of those things that happens in one glorious moment, so labor begins with “Honey, it’s time!” at 7:07AM and then at 7:08 AM the doctor decides (because you’re in a hospital) whether it will be vaginal or a c-section, and then at 7:09 the baby is born.

The idea of a mom laboring at home and then going to the hospital isn’t something many people have considered because they would never leave the hospital to go home during labor. Therefore if you’re birthing at home, neither would you transfer to the hospital.

I don’t think it’s willful ignorance. I think homebirth is just currently out of many people’s range of experience in the US and several other countries.

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Details Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 4:42 am Details(Quote)

I left the hospital to go home in labor and it was a VBAC. Granted it was the very early stages and I was only in the hospital for about 1 hr of fetal monitoring. I went to the mall, I stopped by the doctors office again. I went home and fed my other two kids. Then I suddenly decided it was time to go to the hospital. All in all it took more than 20 hours. Yes, I think the 7:07 to 7:09 mentality is about right. This in spite of every parent out there having at least one birth story of their own that proves otherwise.

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Jane Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 4:44 am Jane(Quote)

I saw a birth in a movie once, and it only took about five minutes.

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Kristy Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 9:13 am Kristy(Quote)

That’s cause movie kids are related to soap opera kids that grow up at a phenomenal rate. This allows everyone’s grandmother to still be young enough to attract dozens of hot guys to keep things interesting.

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Jane Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 9:16 am Jane(Quote)

Oh! Well that explains all those three-month-old newborns! Thank you!

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Kristy Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 11:40 am Kristy(Quote)

Yep… then by next week they will be off to kindergarten at boarding school and in a month they will be graduating.

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Jewels Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 6:42 pm Jewels(Quote)

I think you may be right there! Hopefully I won’t have to deal with it next time around because almost everyone I know has already heard the epic tale of my neverending labour + (non-emergent) transfer, so they already know what we plan to do if things “go wrong”. They also know how badly I was treated by the hospital, so anyone who dares to ask if we’re starting in hospital next time will get their head bitten off

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North of 49 had this to say, May 30, 2012 @ 7:40 am (Quote)

I had a few like that, no matter where my kids were born. One was a planned homebirth with a legal midwife, but WTF “was it a planned homebirth?” and then right after “did you have a cesarean?” I’d have told you if I had a cesarean – I react badly to being cut open! Or being asked the stupid question when my youngest needed medical treatment. WTF. Her file is in the file room and this is the 5th time a medical pro has asked me since I got there! The stupid thing is getting asked that question almost 10 years after the birth! It shouldn’t matter at that point!

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Chelsea had this to say, May 30, 2012 @ 8:06 am (Quote)

C-section. My husband totally opened me up with a hunting knife. He can’t sew so he just used Gorilla Glue to close.

*she said with sarcasm dripping from her fangs*

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Jane Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 9:18 am Jane(Quote)

Actually, Krazy Glue is awesome in place of sutures as long as you don’t run the risk of getting it in your eyes etc. It flakes off in 7 days and holds everything shut until then.

I’m not recommending DOING this, but it would actually work.

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Chelsea Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 9:32 am Chelsea(Quote)

I know…lol, I’ve glued several dogs’ cuts with it.

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Jane Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 9:34 am Jane(Quote)

Awesome! I know some countries sell “medical grade super glue” but I wasn’t sure the stuff you buy at the hardware store is entirely safe. I guess it is.

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Dreamy Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 5:45 pm Dreamy(Quote)

Yes! My husband trained for a pretty dangerous sport at an Olympic training center and that’s exactly what they used. Works a treat.

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teapot Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 9:30 pm teapot(Quote)

My dd’s skin was glued back together 4.5 years ago during her c/s. Much preferable to staples, IMHO.

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Nica Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 9:53 am Nica(Quote)

My construction foreman ex-BF swore by Crazy Glue for on the job cuts. LOL! Guess the job has to get done no matter what…

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Jane Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 11:55 am Jane(Quote)

I was talking to a construction guy once and he said he’d just slap duct tape over an injury and keep working.

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SculptorAlison Reply:
June 5th, 2012 at 3:15 pm SculptorAlison(Quote)

When I was a picture framer, we would use framer’s tape. It’s like duct tape but not quite as sticky. I actually want to get a roll of it to keep around the house for minor injuries because it’s way better than a band-aid.

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LG Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 7:00 pm LG(Quote)

An RN in my church when I was a kid used to keep unopened bottles of Krazy Glue in every room in the house, and her purse, and in the truck. They lived on a ranch and she had kids and farm hands and cowboys all over the place and of course they were always getting cut up on something. She swore by the stuff for cuts of just about any kind — quick swipe with a disinfectant wipe, put Krazy Glue in the cut, press the two sides together until they stick, and voila! You’ve just saved yourself a trip to the ER and an insurance copay!

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Jen Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:17 am Jen(Quote)

I have a deep mistrust of glueing wounds. We took my then-9mo DD2 to an urgent-care clinic with a deep cut. At the clinic, she was exposed to 4 strains of antibiotic-resistant bacteria (though none were MRSA) and then the wound was glued shut. The resulting infection nearly took her finger. One doctor told us if the cut had been left open, the infection would have just drained out and she’d have been fine.

When DD3 had a similar injury, I treated it at home. No glue, no infection, no scar.

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Amelia Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:58 pm Amelia(Quote)

I’m afraid this has more to do with clinics/hospitals than with glue vs. stitches…my brother had a wound (deep cut on his knee) cleaned, then he sat in the ER and waited and waited to be stitched up, and then OF COURSE the wound got infected and the stitches had to be removed and re-done after the wound was cleaned out again. Sitting in the ER was the culprit.

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v had this to say, May 30, 2012 @ 8:12 am (Quote)

Bwahahaha! I got this too, when I went to get papers turned in for my baby’s birth cert. I was like :blank stare: “really?” Then laughed. Hard. I guess its one of those things on a list that people repeat so much (or have a paper to prompt questions) that its automatic. Doesn’t make it any less funny!!!

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Cindy had this to say, May 30, 2012 @ 8:44 am (Quote)

Neither. My unicorn magicked the baby out.

What? You don’t have a unicorn?

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Annora had this to say, May 30, 2012 @ 8:58 am (Quote)

I’ve got to admit, I could see myself just automatically going to the next usual question… and then being embarrassed for a week!

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anna had this to say, May 30, 2012 @ 9:33 am (Quote)

This is mine. I just burst out laughing and said “I would hope it wasn’t a cesarean!”. I know she was just reading without paying attention but it was pretty funny. In her defense, she was totally caught off guard when informed that my daughter was born at home (on purpose!) so I think she was a bit flustered. Only 2 people at the office knew of my plans (I used the CNMs as parallel care in case of a transfer) and they had to keep it a secret to save their jobs. My daughter’s ped had a similar “huh?” moment when we brought her in a few days after birth. They were very confused.

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Details Reply:
May 30th, 2012 at 4:19 pm Details(Quote)

Did they use to ask this question when the c-section rate was between 5-10%? I can’t imagine my MIL telling anyone her first 3 were vaginal. Back then if anybody was nosey enough to ask it would have been ceasearn yes or no, no mention of the “other” method. Ehgads you can’t say that word in public. But to stick to my point, did anybody care before it became a freakin epidemic?

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Julie had this to say, May 31, 2012 @ 7:41 am (Quote)

Now I am starting to wonder. Is it possible for a C-section to be done at home without killing the mother? Obviously, it would never be done on purpose, but, outside of “Twilight”, is it possible?

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Lisa Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 12:26 pm Lisa(Quote)

One woman in Mexico did

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2001943916_caesarean01.html

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Marlene had this to say, May 31, 2012 @ 4:56 pm (Quote)

*CAUTION* The glue alternative should be used on superficial tears only. Dermabond or any type of skin glue, is just that: for skin. With perineal tears (or self-inflicted C/S cuts for that matter!) There is a very real danger of causing fistulas or pockets of infection with no way out in the underlying tissue. Sutures or staples are much safer, lest anyone take the superglue alternative seriously. Yes, it does work fine for things like slicing your finger with a kitchen knife, or holding down a flap of torn skin, but is good for skin wounds only, not into the muscle or mucus membranes.

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