Aaaaand you’re fired. I will decide if the situation is suitable, you OB in midwifes clothing.

Well you’ve already failed to “sell” yourself to me. Bye. Stop wasting my time.

Because that’s the job I’m paying you to do. Is that reason enough? Because if it’s not, I’d like my money back and a referral to someone else.

Becaaaaause… that is the profession you chose? Shame you won’t be practicing it here.

Well, why do you do it for anyone? Probably because they are paying you? Though I can’t imagine how you make ANY money with THIS attitude.

WTF?! I’m speechless.

So, basically…you expect your clients to show you that they’re “good enough” to hire you? If you don’t want to attend home births, then…don’t be a home-birth midwife. The career choice hasn’t been forced on you.

That was disconcerting. Last I checked having a baby had not one thing to do with selling a homebirth plan. Save the “power woman” spiel for upper level marketing…

If YOU would like to pay ME, then I’d be happy to “sell” it to you.

But since birth choices aren’t about a sales pitch, how about you just leave?

So you’ll determine if my reason is “suitable enough” for me to have a homebirth? Yeah, not so much…buh-bye.

Something tells me this wasn’t in the US.

Obviously this was upsetting to the OP, however, my doula asked a similar question regarding why I wanted a natural birth. Knowing a woman’s reasons can help the care provider to offer the right support. Of course it was not well put.

I’m totally confused. I thought either midwives kept in touch during labor and as the birth got closer, then they came. Sometimes a birth assistant has been there for part of labor with the friends of mine who’ve had home births. Someone educate me.

Hang on a mo. “Sell” yourself? Who’s the one paying here?

Because I want to.

“Sell it to me. Why should I take time out of my life, and stay on the line with you for 40 minutes while we attempt to fix your computer together?”

“Sell it to me. Why should I take time out of my life, and work in your kitchen all day long catering your reception?”

“Sell it to me. Why should I take time out of my life, and drive all the way to your farm to provide veterinary care to your lambing ewes?”

Nope, doesn’t work. If the question really was, “Why do you want a homebirth?” then the midwife should have stopped right there and waited for an answer. If she wants somebody to plead for her attention, she should go get a dog.

Okay. Three words: I’m paying YOU. If you don’t want to be paid, I’ll find someone else.

Home inspection? So what, if my home is not nice enough for you, then I don’t deserve a home birth? I think a woman has a right to “home birth” wherever she wants, whether its a house, an apartment, RV or in the middle of a field! If a stable was good enough for Mary, then my humble home is good enough for Miss hoity toity midwife.

How does this woman ever get anyone to hire her after that?

This is mine. Here we have home inspections to make sure it is a safe home, that the ambulance drivers can bring in a gurney, and within X distance from the hospital. That is fine. This question came AFTER she had already asked why we wanted a homebirth. Our answer of this is where i am comfortable and i dont want to leave for the hospital or birthcenter while in active labour wasn’t good enough. She wanted to hear that we thought it was best for baby.

I met a nutter like this, she was a homebirth midwife who was also a qualified GP, what that meant was that she could bill all appointments to medicare as GP visits, giving a homebirth almost completely covered by medicare or insurance, the only way some people can possibly afford it. (Australian system here). She is well aware that beggars can’t be choosers, and that she is the only chance of an assisted homebirth for many low income families.

But it was her way or the highway. I wasn’t to tell any family we were homebirthing in case they showed up and caused problems for her during my labour, I would labour with the religious ‘extras’ that SHE believed in, all while belittling me for my own (I wear a headcovering in some situations, birth would have been one of them, she constantly made passive aggressive comments about it. In fairness she made clear from the begining she only worked with christians, so she wasn’t forcing her beliefs on athiests at least). She instructed me to ignore medical advice from other specialists regarding issues she had little knowlege about, and she herself had no knowlege about complications in pregnancy, including HG (she informed me the only reason I could possibly still have any sickness after 13 weeks was that I was too stressed out). She shamed me for not excersizing enough (while suffering HG, wtf!). She even perscribed me a natural medication, but in an entirely unsafe dose because the lower dose didn’t work.

I could deal with her craziness on religious stuff, she practiced it differently to me but if I had to sit through a half hour ‘worship time’ every appointment I could deal with that to be able to afford a homebirth. But when she told me I COULD NOT have a healthy vaginal birth if I did not have my completely seperate and irrelevent medical issue fixed completely before I went into labour, despite being told treatment in pregnancy was dangerous and could lead to miscarriage, I decided we were not safe in her care. (Her theory was the only way to have a safe natural vaginal birth was to start with a safe, whole, healthy body)

BTW, I’m not the OP lol, this comment just reminded me of her so much, because she told me my home enviroment was not suitable and I would need to stay with someone pro-homebirthing or rent a hotel room when I went into labour. Nutter.

It’s a shame though, because fact is, many people including myself cannot afford a homebirth any other way, the cost would be a 6th of our annual wage and local midwives are run off their feet as it is because there’s so few of them, so there’s no batering around here. No homebirth for me

Most everyone has already voiced the thought in different words but…wow, she’s got a strange view on client/employee relations.

Don’t call us. We’ll call you.

Neeeext!

So wait. You’re hiring me? You’ll be paying me? If not, GTFO.

Wow, you guys are really harsh on this one. Most of birthing at home has to do with attitude. A midwife can’t want it more than you do. And, an emergency transport is way more dangerous if the mom was sitting on the fence.

I wonder if the midwife was worried that the OP might not be fully committed. Maybe there was a difference of personalities and she was trying to find the level of commitment.

Midwifery is not like OB. The midwife has to accept you as a client just as much as you have to want her at your birth. It’s not like hiring a plumber. She has to trust you just as much as you have to trust her (but for very d

(but for very different reasons).

It scares me a little that some comment of mine like this would end up here. I’m a doula, but I try to engage my clients in dialogues all the time. I would hate to be told to GTFO for trying to help a mom define her choice of birth locale.

I am HOPING the midwife mentioned was trying to make sure her client had the right reasons for wanting a home birth (as in not “well it’s what all my friends are doing and I’m sheep who always follows the crowd”) and had the emotional maturity to handle it (most women old enough to have children do) but boy did she choose the wrong words.