Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
May
11
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…If I Looked In A Textbook Under Herpes, I’d See Your Vagina.”
“No, that’s a classic case of Herpes. If I looked in a textbook under Herpes, I’d see your vagina.” – Gyn to young woman who had a large mass on her labia.
There are 34 comments to this post.
Oh my, I don’t even know what to say to this one. Even if it was herpes, this is wildly inappropriate. Goodness, it seems to me like doctors don’t even have brain/mouth filters anymore! What the world could possibly make anyone think it’s okay to be this crass to anyone, never mind while talking to a woman about the most intimate parts of her body?!
OP, I am so incredibly sorry. I really hope you were able to gather your thoughts and give this so called doctor a piece of your mind.
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I had a nicer version of this. I was concerned I had herpes and the doctor got all the stuff together to test and then when she looked she said “Oh no, that is textbook herpes I don’t need to put you through the discomfort of swabbing it.” Unfortunately, it has caused a lot of issues because I was never officially diagnosed. ;/
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Tee Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 6:02 pm (Quote)
Your doctor sounds like she was a bit polite about it, which is good. Please feel free to tell me to bug off if I’m being too nosy but I’m curious as to what you mean by having a lot of issues since you weren’t tested. Do you just mean that other doctors haven’t believed you since you don’t have the swab to back it up?
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Dreamy Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 6:56 pm (Quote)
FWIW, I had a “textbook case of herpes” based on a visual exam (though I tried to explain its development and how that didn’t match up with herpes at all). And you know what? It was the darndest thing… Swabs and blood tests (both types) showed nothing, even after being performed repeatedly, months apart, because my GP couldn’t believe her visual exam was wrong. I never had herpes. It was an atypical yeast infection. But I appreciated the (albeit temporary) damage her certainty did to my marriage!
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starshine Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 8:48 pm (Quote)
I can certainly appreciate that damage. I went through a similar episode with my S/O as a result of this experience. I wonder if these doctors don’t know or just don’t care about the real consequences of their unfounded judgements.
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Dreamy Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 9:38 pm (Quote)
In my case… I can honestly understand her fixation, because even though other aspects of my case didn’t line up with herpes, when she “diagnosed” it, I said, “Well, DH (also her patient) has cold sores (since before we were married),” so I thought he must have given it to me via oral sex (totally possible). So I think that just “confirmed” it for her and it was hard for her to let it go. But although I tried to be calm about it in the exam room, afterwards I was really upset, thinking this might preclude a homebirth or vaginal birth, and although I didn’t have reason to suspect DH cheating… Well, the more I thought about it, the less it made sense that I would have an initial outbreak, for the very first time, after 13 years of marriage (if he had it during our whole marriage). YKWIM? I didn’t totally freak out on him, but I did have my moment. In any event, it was actually that– the fact that I was only having my “initial herpes outbreak”– that led me to suspect misdiagnosis, realizing that DH doesn’t get cold sores– he gets canker sores (we didn’t know the difference), etc., etc.
I actually don’t totally blame my GP. I can totally see why she thought it was herpes– it did kinda look like it, especially if you didn’t fully account for some of the less obvious symptoms and its non-herpes-like progression, and I had “admitted” that DH had herpes. I actually think my GP is pretty good, and even when “diagnosing” my “herpes” was super nice and caring about it. But it does go to show that a visual exam is NOT the gold standard, FTLOG!
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lilmrsmchenry Reply:
May 12th, 2012 at 11:47 am (Quote)
I had vaginal ulcers at one point and was worried that it was herpes. Had them cultured to be sure and it was a bacterial infection! If we had just assumed because of the appearance of them I would have been saddled with an imaginary STD for the rest of my life. I am so glad that my Dr didn’t go with their gut feeling.
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Well, I recently had a “large mass on my labia” and it was a hematoma – according to my husband, the volume of a golf ball and the shape of a football (of course, we knew exactly how it got there – pushing a baby out from 0 station in two contractions, on purpose). A friend had a similar issue prenatally a few years ago – I don’t believe it was a hematoma, but the ob was convinced it was “textbook herpes” – they tested, and it was negative. So they tested again, a couple more times, just because they were so convinced it was herpes (though she was extremely low risk – monogamous, no history on either side, yada yada). Oops, fail.
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North of 49 had this to say,
May 11, 2012 @ 6:18 pm (Quote)
I had recurring yeast infections years ago and the gp gladly swabbed me to make sure it was just a yeast infection and not something worse. Not just once, but every time I had something suspicious.
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Sounds like her vagina was fine, so I’m not sure how this makes sense, Doc, unless the “textbook” you have been consulting doesn’t distinguish between vaginas and labias.
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Penny Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 7:14 pm (Quote)
It scares me how often doctors use vagina instead of vulva or labia or whatever the true term is. Idiots.
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Dreamy Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 7:17 pm (Quote)
For real! It’s a huge pet peeve of mine in the general pop– to hear a HCP say it makes me weep.
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Penny Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 7:23 pm (Quote)
I read an article recently about how many women don’t know the parts of their body. The biggest problem with the article? The women that wrote it kept using vagina instead of vulva. Not many women seemed to notice the mistake.
It’s a pet peeve of mine as well.
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Jen Reply:
May 12th, 2012 at 10:57 am (Quote)
Huge pet peeve here, too. What really gets me is when someone self-righteously declares that they don’t use cutesy nicknames, they use the proper terms with their children, and then only use penis and vagina. What about the testicles, labia, vulva, clitoris? I don’t mind if others use cutesy terms or not, but I do, in fact, teach my kids *all* the proper terms.
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steph124ny had this to say,
May 11, 2012 @ 7:31 pm (Quote)
OK, so I just finished up my class in Microbiology. I had my final today as a matter of fact. I have NEVER seen herpes described as a “large mass” before. I have heard of Barlothian (sp?) cysts being quite large…but not herpes…or anything sexually transmitted from what I can remember.
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liz had this to say,
May 11, 2012 @ 7:50 pm (Quote)
I had a friend who was taking topamax when she developed boils in her armpits and groin. She was convinced it was a side effect of the medication but her Doctor was convinced it was herpes even though she was a virgin. He put her on herpes medication. She took the medication for a week our so waiting to hear the results of the tests. Her dr conveniently forgot to call her and tell her the results were negative and that she should stop talking the medication.
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Tee Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 7:57 pm (Quote)
This story absolutely infuriates me! Years ago, I was bullied into unnecessary antibiotics and wound up with a rip roaring case of c.diff as a result. Quite literally almost bled out because the doctor refused to get to the bottom of why I was bleeding so badly. (No pun intended.) Taking an unwarranted medication can be downright dangerous! I hate that your friend had to do that.
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TyMc had this to say,
May 11, 2012 @ 8:20 pm (Quote)
I can speak from personal experience here. i DO have herpes (my fiance had a cold sore and we engaged in oral sex not knowing it could be transmitted that way). my outbreaks have never been a large mass. they are a very small cluster of white bumps that pop, an are sore for a little over a week. this doctor is a damn moron. when i was diagnosed, they never even told me they were testing me for it! i was having abdominal pain, odor, and discharge. turns out those symptoms were due to chlamydia my fiance got from his ex before we met and he just didnt have symptoms. anyway, the doctor came in and said “Okay, so we’ve ran some screens, your herpes test was positive, and your yeast infection was negative. any questions?” i was shocked! i started crying. she said “whats wrong? its not a big deal.” and i said “umm. yeah it is! i’ll never have children now!” she said “why not?” and i said “no one is going to take the chance of catching this by being with me.” she then said “well, thats true.” we talked for a bit more, she looked at me with a condescending attitude, and said “this is what condoms are for.” and to top it all off, she broke doctor/patient confidentiality by telling my mother about it!!!!!!!! i was above the legal age of consent, and therefore had patients rights to privacy regarding my reproductive health!!! at least me and my fiance stayed together and now have 2 beautiful, healthy boys. i hate doctors so much. i have never met a doctor besides my oldest sons doctor and my youngest sons pediatric nephrologist that werent cold, mechanical, unfeeling, uncaring, pill-pushers.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that OP. that is NOT a case of herpes and your doctor needs to diagnose you instead of just assuming.
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Telula Reply:
May 16th, 2012 at 10:59 pm (Quote)
Good to know. My hubby has cold sores and I’ve never had one, so we’re really careful when it comes to oral if he has one, or feels one coming on.
Here’s a tip, if you feel a cold sore coming on, put tea tree oil on it right away and it will keep it from growing and clear it up faster.
Also, I’m sorry about how you were treated. Some doctors have no compassion.
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This is mine.
I was in my mid-20′s, uninsured, and in the course of one day I went from noticing a pea-sized lump on my right labia at 10 in the morning to a testicle-sized, incredibly painful growth by 5 pm. I couldn’t sit. I could barely wear clothes. I even called my aunt who is an ER nurse to ask for her opinion on what it might be.
My regular doctor wasn’t informed that I needed to be seen (like I said, uninsured) and saw an NP at her practice. She said she didn’t know what it was, and if it was located ANYWHERE else on my body, she’d just lance it for me, but was uncomfortable addressing something like she was seeing. This of course caused major panic on my part.
The NP arranged for me to see an OB/GYN she had a professional relationship with that would accommodate me on a sliding scale fee schedule. My heart pounding, I drove over to the office and screamed in pain as a gently slid out of the car. Several pregnant women gave me the stink eye. I was nervous, self-conscious, and wincing in pain.
I was seen by an older male GYN who took one look at the growth and said, “No, that’s a classic case of herpes. If I looked in a textbook under herpes, I’d see your vagina.”
I said that that was impossible. I was in a monogamous, multi-year relationship, and we had both been tested for everything at the beginning of our relationship. We were both clean. And yes, I trusted that he had not ever cheated on me. It wasn’t herpes.
He LAUGHED AT ME and said that, no, it was absolutely herpes, and I’d have to start Valtrex immediately. I asked if he would test me for herpes, and he said no, the test was too expensive for someone like me, and besides, it was unnecessary for a case THIS obvious.
I began to cry, still insisting that it couldn’t be herpes, again gave the reasons, and he mumbled something about being in denial, gave me three days of Valtrex samples, and scheduled a follow-up visit with his office in 4 days. In the meantime, I was to NEVER MISS A DOSE OF VALTREX and take sitz baths for pain relief.
I will not rehash the problems this caused in my relationship.
Since I had to NEVER MISS A DOSE OF VALTREX and only had 3 days of samples, I had to pay out of pocket for the Rx I was written. I was in college to become a teacher. I had NO money. I don’t know where I found the $189.99 to pay for the prescription, but I had to take it, right?
I went for my follow up appointment, relieved that I was seeing not that GYN, but his colleague, a young, respectful, soft-spoken woman.
She took one look at my chart, one look at me, and quickly reassured me that no, I did NOT have herpes. What I did have was a Bartholin Gland cyst, which can be quite painful but are certainly NOT STDs or contageous or anything of the sort.
The damage was done, though. I was out several hundred dollars I couldn’t afford and a big chunk of my dignity.
I did not continue care at this office, and to this day (8 years later, and yes, still with the same wonderful, monogamous man) whenever we drive past this office, we flip the bird in tandem.
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Kristin Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 9:31 pm (Quote)
I would say that I cannot believe that doctor’s attitude, but my son is on Medicaid and has been treated similarly. I’m so sorry you were “treated” by this jerk who should have remembered, “people first, money last.”
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road2vba2c Reply:
May 12th, 2012 at 4:13 am (Quote)
Something similar happened to someone I know. Diagnosed by sight with herpes, only to not have the virus. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I’m so sorry it caused problems in your relationship, but I’m SO HAPPY to hear that you overcame it all and are still with your guy!
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Maegan Reply:
May 12th, 2012 at 1:42 pm (Quote)
I probably would have gone back to the doc’s office, demanded a refund of the services I paid for…as well as the medication. AT THE LEAST. That’s called malpractice in my book. He misdiagnosed you, refused to listen to you…and then swept your concerns to the side.
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Jespren had this to say,
May 11, 2012 @ 9:18 pm (Quote)
There is such a huge difference between saying ‘this is a classic example of’ or ‘this is a textbook example/presentation’ and ‘if I looked in the textbook i’d see a picture of you’.
It can be really reassuring to *finally* see the right doctor who immediately can identify your problem, but this phrasing is *only* insulting.
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Morgaine had this to say,
May 11, 2012 @ 10:02 pm (Quote)
Although I am very glad that the OP got the situation resolved and was able to salvage her relationship, Id like to state that I dont really think non-life threatening STD’s are that big of a deal. As long as they are treated, and you take the appropriate precautions during an outbreak, its just the same as any other of the multitudes of viruses that most of us have. I fully believe that the stigma associated with STDs are the very reason that they are so perpetuated–because it becomes too embarrassing to admit it and get treated.
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Something similar happened to someone I know. Diagnosed by sight with herpes, only to not have the virus. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I’m so sorry it caused problems in your relationship, but I’m SO HAPPY to hear that you overcame it all and are still with your guy!
I also have a friend this happened to. She was told she had herpes, end of discussion. She ran off to her nurse mother in tears, who immediately scheduled an appointment with another GYN. She had an infected ingrown hair from bad razor burn. Yep.
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Oh, we don’t test for things anymore?
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