Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Mar
7
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“If You Can’t Work To Full Capacity Without Breaks, Bend Down & Touch Your Toes, & LIfe 50 Lbs.. I Will Fire You…”
“If you can’t work to full capacity without breaks, bend down and touch your toes, and lift 50 lbs your entire pregnancy, I will demote you to part-time or fire you completely and get someone else to do your job!” – Store manager to mother. Mother had just told the manager she was about three weeks pregnant.
There are 70 comments to this post.
Dude, write that down for me, okay, so I can use it as a checklist every morning to make sure I’m still a fit worker for you. NOT to give it to an attorney or anything. Just, you know, as a personal list.
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I hope you sued the wotsit out of them and left anyway. What a horrible, horrible, woman-hating person! I bet he isn’t married… and if he is, I feel sorry for his wife 
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PetraStrider Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 10:05 am (Quote)
Until I read your comment Sam I actually assumed the manager was a woman……. Maybe because I’ve had a lot of female bosses, some who unfortunately where NOT understanding or fair their pregnant employees. I hope the pink link comes soon.
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That boss must have been related to my boss at Costco. He was really pissed that I was hired as seasonal when I was so visibly pregnant, how he missed it at the interview I will never know since he has 2 kids. So he made me do all the cleaning of the tables and closing shifts where I would have to climb a ladder or stand on the table benches. The last straw was when he told me to climb under the pop machine to empty a bucket of water. My response was “would you ask that of your wife when she was 8.5 months pregnant?” When he responded with no I reminded him I was someones wife as well and he should treat us the way that he would want his wife’s boss to treat her. After that shift my husband made me quit.
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Jespren had this to say,
Mar 7, 2012 @ 5:49 am (Quote)
Even if this was technically legal (depending upon state), it’s still a real crappy thing to say, especially when mom is just informing you of pregnancy! I worked for a crappy company during my 1st pregnancy and was more than a little nervious to inform them of the pregnancy.
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SuzyHomemaker had this to say,
Mar 7, 2012 @ 6:40 am (Quote)
Holy lawsuits, Batman! This employer better call his atturney- quick!
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Ummm, I can’t do either of those things when I’m NOT pregnant! 
Guess I would have just been fired outright.
Assuming the OP is in the US, state laws do vary and the whole “reasonable accommodation” thing is a very gray area, but you can bet I’d at least consult with a lawyer on that one… Yikes.
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Unfortunately employers and courts don’t yet protect pregnant employees in the same way as other temporarily disabled employees. The ACLU is fighting UPS on behalf of a woman for this.
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first time mommy had this to say,
Mar 7, 2012 @ 7:37 am (Quote)
Geez. What? My old manager wouldn’t let me lift ANYTHING that was remotely close to heavy when I was pregnant.
and um, I can’t touch my toes now, couldn’t touch while or before I was pregnant! And can’t lift 50 lbs! And isn’t illegal too to not offer a break if you work x amount of hours pregnant or not? No, wait. I bet the manager just schedules you so it’s just under that amount so you don’t get one
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Robyn Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 8:48 am (Quote)
I had to fight when I was pregnant to be able to do anything. I worked in a Chinese restaurant. Main job was taking orders; phone and walk-in. While I was pregnant, that was pretty much all they wanted me to do. I could prep the crab rangoon. Picking up the boxes of sauce (neither big nor heavy)? They would have rather I didn’t. Restocking food? Please don’t; we don’t want you to get hurt. Stand on the step stool to get stuff off of or put stuff on the storage shelf above the counter? Panic attack! Didn’t matter how many times I told them that if I really can’t do something, I would let them know.
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I wish my employer had been this outright. Instead, when I told her I was pregnant, she smiled and said, “Congratulations!”
Then I had to fight. I was moved from a position where I could stand behind a counter all day to one where I had to run around and lift things. I was harassed by my supervisor to move faster, I was written up any time I didn’t finish my department each evening (I was the only one who got written up for that). They started scheduling me for more hours; I was supposed to be part time and they’d schedule me as though I was full time. I was even scheduled, every week, to close at 11 on Sun and then open at 6 on Mon. I bore with all of this until I got Meralgia Paresthetica, and was in pain if I was on my feet for more than a few hours. Then I got a doctor’s note telling them that I had a medical reason to work fewer hours; they gave on the Sun/Mon close/open, and chopped an hour off of each of my days. It was still too much.
So I went ahead and filed for my pregnancy leave a month early. It was obvious to me I couldn’t do the job the way they wanted. The very next day, a week before it went into effect, they fired me for being slow.
I called every resource I could think of and many suggested to me; they all said the same thing. I lived in an “at will” state. They would file a lawsuit for me, but they’d need $4000, and we probably wouldn’t win, especially since they covered their asses so well with all the write-ups.
I had loved that job. I had a glowing review just before I announced my pregnancy. I felt so betrayed
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DaynawithaY Reply:
March 9th, 2012 at 8:49 pm (Quote)
So sorry you had to go through this, Skyfire! I can only imagine how frustrating that is/was for you. I wonder why that employer was so scared of your pregnancy?
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Skyfire Reply:
March 10th, 2012 at 7:36 am (Quote)
My theory is they didn’t want to pay for my benefits while I was out, and my leave started just before the holiday rush began, so they knew they were going to hire a bunch of seasonal employees, so it would be easy to replace me. They tried to get me to quit by treating me so badly and over scheduling me, but I didn’t get the message.
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The purpose of this site is to capture the crazy but true comments said to birthing women by doctors, midwives, doulas, lactation consultants, and childbirth educators when they are having their babies!
So we have dealt with every issue of stupidity that has ever come out of the mouths of medical workers and we are shifting over to My boss said what? And Next month we will be moving on to my MIL said what!
No boss should ever say such a thing ever, but
That is why you don’t tell your boss that you are ONLY 3 weeks pregnant if you don’t deal with toxic chemicals and can still perform you job function. And when you do have to tell him it might be wise to request a meeting with HR.
WTH does it matter if I can “bend over” and touch my toes or if I have to squat? Squatting is a safer way to lift things in the first place, and I won’t be asking you to help me tie my shoes!
So many things wrong in this post. I’m sure more have been missed.
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Dreamy Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 8:08 am (Quote)
Yeah… I understand it basically fits into the theme, but I agree with you. I didn’t think this was “Someone In Life Said What?!? (About Pregnancy/Birth/Babies)”
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Silja Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 8:29 am (Quote)
I also agree. This manager is horrible, and it is an outrage, but it does not belong on this site.
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Byrd Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 8:55 am (Quote)
And yet, I would leave that up to the administrators of the site. You know, the people who designed the theme of the site, read all the submissions, write it up on the page, and contact the submitters letting them know it will be posted. Yeah, I think they’re the best ones to determine whether or not a submission belongs on this site.
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Details Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 9:19 am (Quote)
Just giving them our feedback. While I don’t mind an occassional off topic I would hate for them to make a habit of it. Give the people what they want. Without readers the site would disappear as our clicks pay for their salaries and site maintenance.
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PetraStrider Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 9:59 am (Quote)
Well this post does already have over thirty responses, so I think that kind of speaks for itself.
There is Thoughtful Thursday, but if the site administrators where to add another alternative day (ie: funny/d’oh comments or stupid things family or friends say) I’d like that.
JMHO though, not my site and I’m certainly not the only reader.
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E Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 10:27 am (Quote)
Though this comment definitely fits into the.. “position of authority, mysogynistic asshattery” portion of this website…. At first glance this doesn’t seem to fit.. I agree with you.
But. Everyone keeps thinking this was some type of store.
When I think of heavy lifting and sometimes a lack of breaks as part of your job description.. Medical aides of all sorts (nursing homes, institutional settings, hospitals, even group homes with more care involved) come to mind.
Also, “you don’t tell them you’re pregnant that early” is a ridiculous cop-out for how mysogynistic these people are. I guess being aware that they are mysogynistic might occur to you, but, to a lot of women it isn’t a given that they’re going to be literally forced out of their jobs due to pregnancy… no matter when they tell the boss. Also, you have better chances of finding different employment whilst pregnant if you are fired now vs. 6 months later when the boss finally fires you. Also, maybe she had bleeding and was instructed by her doctor to stop all heavy lifting. How else is someone supposed to explain that to a boss? I don’t have real animosity, but it’s never good to one-size-fits-all.
A big maybe but.. but maybe this was a medical professional of some sort that said this!! Maybe even at a hospital that has a maternity unit, or maybe even -on- a maternity unit. I would’t be shocked. I know that nursing aides and the like are generally expected to do heavy lifting, etc. especially in more institutional settings where aides may be responsible for laundry, lifting immobile patients, and the like. If it was, then I’d think it definitely fits in better and would be thoroughly jaw-dropping wouldn’t it?
That is just my in-the-dark-guess as to why it was put on this site. I could be wrong.
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E Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 11:24 am (Quote)
Did they add the words “store manager” ? Or did I just miss it the first time? I’m usually pretty up on my reading comprehension.. so I’m assuming they added the words 
If they had already said that, I have no excuse for my brain malfunction other than, wow I can’t believe my brain malfunctioned that much and I feel just silly.
Anyway, I agree with you then. It is a little bit too off-topic for this site.
However, what do you think of the prospect that someone in the medical field could mistreat a pregnant woman they are the superior of? I think they very well could. It wouldn’t surprise me.
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Sometimes it’s hard to hide a pregnancy from an employer. I’m not even positive I’m pregnant yet but it’s kinda hard to hide the vomiting…lol. I have no idea about anything legally, but I’m sorry it happened to you, OP. Hope you find a good, family-friendly employer.
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SuzyHomemaker had this to say,
Mar 7, 2012 @ 9:50 am (Quote)
Wouldn’t it be so crazy if the employer who said this *was* an OB and the pregnant employee she was threatening was a nurse or receptionist…
I highly doubt thats the case but I was just thinking, wouldn’t it be crazy if…
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E Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 10:42 am (Quote)
OOps, heh, I thought along the same lines but your comment hadn’t uploaded yet on my very slow internet. I was thinking it was an aide.
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E Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 11:16 am (Quote)
I mean an aide that it was said to… by possibly an OB/midwife/RN.. And I mean. After some of the things that these people say or do to pregnant women, especially the god-complex “we know better than you do” or the over-worked burnt out “assembly line cannot slow down, PANIC PANIC” sorts…. I really wouldn’t put it past one of them to view someone “beneath them” on the totem pole as unworthy of humane treatment or even think about it that much.. or perhaps even might be all venom and spiteful about it.. especially if it’s going to cause them to temporarily have to do more work.
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SuzyHomemaker Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 11:59 am (Quote)
I think they editted the original post to say “store manager” instead of “employer” …either that or I mis-read the original post.
So obviously the whole OB being the employer theory is out the window on *this* quote, however I agree with you that the situation does sound probable for the type of treatment someone working in a hospital or OB’s office might recieve, based on the general attitude and God-complex which certain medical professionals have proven themselves to have.
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E Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 11:26 am (Quote)
I’m assuming MOBSW edited their description to say “store manager”, but maybe both of us had the same brain malfunction at the same time.
However, it still wouldn’t shock me if someone in the field mistreated a pregnant woman.
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E Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 12:07 pm (Quote)
Heh, I’m being moderated because I think I posted too many times in a short span because I realized that what I was saying looked silly with “store manager” being so obvious and wanted to clear it up quickly before I was corrected a bunch of times. I am glad you remember the exact wording that was used before.
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haha I was so sick early on in my 1st pregnancy and missed almost 2 weeks straight. I tried going back with a doctors note asking to be allowed a stool at the counter where I worked and access to water or juice while on the sales floor. (this was walmart canada btw) they refused. So my doctor put me on sick leave for the duration of my pregnancy and they had to pay me for it. Showed them :p
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wish i was in canada! my boss wasnt all that bad- small company, no paid leave, but she sure worked with me on my maternity leave etc, its the morning sickness she was bad at dealing with, never once told me i wasnt keeping up, but did fire me randomly 8 weeks into my 2nd pregnancy without knowing i was pregnant, because she thought i was slacking off. she rehired me 8 weeks later with an apology and a raise. i just considered it well-needed time off, but i probably could have worked shorter shifts and different hours if she’d just told me i wasnt keeping up and we’d discussed it.
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This one makes me kind of sad. The submission doesn’t say what kind of job it was and obviously, there are certain things that a pregnant woman really just can’t do. I have a hard time believing that accommodations couldn’t be made, though. It’s not like a pregnancy will last forever, ain’t so? Why couldn’t some adjustments be made so that this Mom could continue to work?
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I don’t work without breaks and test my flexibility for the manager’s inspection Even when I’m not gestating a person. Why? Because it’s illegal to ask me to do so, and that doesn’t change when a girl is expecting. Boy I hope this manager got their come-uppins.
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I have a story that goes with this. My manager at a major grocery store chain was a capital B. Honestly. Anyway, when I was 6 months pregnant, and working as a baristia in the Starbucks in her store, I would sit down between customers. I was a good worker, and only sat after the place was clean and prep work was up to date. But she sent her lower manager (she never spoke directly to employees) over to tell me I wasn’t allowed to sit unless I was on break. I replied, Hello, I’m 6 months pregnant, my feet are swollen, I’m going to sit for 5 min TYVR. He responded, Well, you need a doctor’s note. So, I got a doctors note saying, no ladders, no weight over 30lbs, and that I was allowed to sit when I needed to. I was then forcibly placed on maternity leave for the remainder of my pregnancy. It was all just a game to that witch, see how many employees i can catch parking at the second-to-last parking lot spot, instead of in the dead last spot. OOOO! Now i can write them up. Anyway.
I’m sorry, OP that this happened to you. People are jerks.
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PetraStrider Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 6:37 pm (Quote)
Ugh. I remember years ago my colleague was pregnant with TWINS and the manager kept ‘forgetting’ to order her a company issue stool to sit on. Customers can tell when someone is working hard and giving good service, a stool does NOT look unprofessional.
(BTW the company I’m seceding to is t…d bank.)
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Tee Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 7:31 pm (Quote)
I am so sorry that you had to put up with that! You know what’s so sad about it… there are so many people that are just lazy and prefer to sit on their rumps for no good reason and because of that, people that actually need to sit down (like you!) are frowned upon. There is no reason that you shouldn’t have been allowed to rest in between customers if you were getting your work done!
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This was mine. I had found out that morning that I was pregnant. I went to work that afternoon. My boss called me into the office because I had been “extremely happy” all afternoon and she wanted to know what was going on (maybe she thought I was on drugs or something? I’ve never taken any so I dunno). I ended up telling her that I was approximately three weeks along in my pregnancy. I hadn’t even been to the doctor yet. She pursed her lips, sneered at me, and told me this awesome gem. The she told me to get the H@&# out of her office and get back to work. And to not be so freaking happy or the customers would freak out. I got back to work. I was no longer happy.
I cried the whole way home.
This was the manager from Nightmare Land. She belittled and bullied EVERYONE who came to the store. It didn’t matter if you were an employee, a vendor delivering merchandise, or a customer; she was atrocious. She called some of my co-workers by racial or biased slurs, showed favoritism to customers of a certain race, called the police on our Coca-cola delivery driver because he insisted on following HIS manager’s requests and not my manager’s. Every day I worked there she said something to me that made me fear that I would lose my job. I was afraid to go to work.
I developed a stress related heart condition and had to be taken by ambulance to the ER for a heart rate of 165 bpm with a blood pressure of 155/100 (my blood pressure has NEVER been over 117/75 before that) when I was about 7 weeks along. When the manager on duty called her to tell her that I was in an ambulance, she called me and told me that I would NOT be working until I got cleared by a doctor to come back to work, this was on a Wednesday. The following Monday, I was awoken by my cell phone. When I answered, she screamed in my ear that I hadn’t shown up to work. I replied that I was confused. I had not gotten into to see the specialist, and I did not have a doctor’s approval to return to work yet. As per her wishes, I was not supposed to come in, and she had supposedly taken me off the schedule. She screamed at me to get to work or she would write me up as a “no call/no show.”
Then she started having employees call the customer service phone number to report a good shopping trip, in hopes of boosting our customer service scores. Unfortunately for her, I have a Bachelor’s in Criminal Justice, and what she was doing was fraud. I called the anonymous ethics hotline that day. A few weeks later my brand new district manager happened to come in on a surprise visit when Manager Beast was not in the store. When I asked to talk to him in private, I broke down in tears and told him everything. Turns out, he has a daughter the same age as me. And he was so NOT okay with how I was being treated, with the discrimination, the fraud, or any of the lies she had told him.
When I was 26 weeks pregnant, she was suspended pending a full review, and then fired. My health problems slowly went away, and I delivered a very healthy and robust 9lb 8oz boy on March 13, 2011. His birthday is coming up soon.
And for the record, it IS illegal to discriminate against a woman who previously qualified for a job position but now has limitations due to pregnancy. “Reasonable accommodations” must be made for a woman who is pregnant. NONE of those accommodations include demoting or firing the woman, reducing her pay or benefits, or otherwise punishing her for being pregnant.
My manager WAS punishing me, because when she was younger, she had horrific endometriosis when led to a total hysterectomy. She was VERY bitter about not being able to have children.
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Kristin Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 7:19 pm (Quote)
Sorry! It wouldn’t pink it the first time!
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Kristin Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 7:30 pm (Quote)
Oh, I’m sorry, since I was very clear:
I work at a pharmacy. I supervise the photo department. I had been employed there at that point for four years, full-time.
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Tee Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 7:35 pm (Quote)
I was just about to ask where you work! Himmel, I am SO SORRY for the way you were treated! It’s horrifying beyond words, Kristin! Do you mind if I ask you two questions, both out of pure curiosity? I’m curious to know what you would have to lift that would weigh 50 pounds? I’m also curious to know what the coca-cola guy did that had her so upset.
And thank you so much for reporting her to the ethics hotline! A lot of people aren’t brave enough to do that!
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Kristin Reply:
March 9th, 2012 at 11:42 pm (Quote)
50lbs was the weight lifting capacity when I was hired. Back then, we had to be able to lift extremely heavy plastic totes that contained liquid chemicals for the photo and film processing machines. Now that we mix the chemicals on-site, we don’t have to deal with heavy totes.
I don’t know what, if ANYTHING, in the store weighs 50+lbs. I don’t know why there is this weight capacity requirement anymore.
The Coca-cola vendor (one of the nicest, most easy going guys you will ever meet) had this habit of coming into our store with a set of instructions given to him by his supervisor. He was to set up the beverages in certain ways, in certain areas, and pick up any damaged or out of date products once a month, or as scheduled by the supervisor. MY manager decided that she wanted him to bring in drinks we don’t actually carry, but say that he was bringing us the normal drinks we were supposed to have. For example, she wanted him to bring in grape Fanta, but say that he was bringing us diet Coke. It would have thrown both our’s and his inventory counts WAY off, not to mention the store that was supposed to get the grape Fanta would be out of luck. The vendor’s supervisor told my manager repeatedly that it was up to OUR corporate headquarter’s team to decide which drinks they would let us have, and they had already said no to the drinks she wanted in our store.
When things reached a boiling point with her, she told him to get out and not come back or he would be trespassing. Two days later, when we received on more Coke products, that same vendor was there, and she called the police to report him for criminal trespass. The police did NOT side with her. But that vendor never came back and was replaced with 20-ish deadbeats that could care less about their merchandise or ours.
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Robyn Reply:
March 8th, 2012 at 6:52 am (Quote)
Wow! I have no other words for that. I am so sorry you went through all that.
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PetraStrider Reply:
March 8th, 2012 at 12:31 pm (Quote)
Oh Kristin, I’m so sorry for what you had to endure, but I’ll admit to having a big smile when I read that she got fired.
Congratulations on having a healthy baby.
((BTW I’m happy that man helped you out, but it seems somewhat backwards that a WOMAN was making a pregnant woman’s life hell, and it took a MAN to come to the rescue. I guess its not about gender, but compassion.))
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Mharry Reply:
March 8th, 2012 at 5:25 pm (Quote)
Kristen, I am SO sorry you had such a terrible manager. I have been there, and those people are the worst. I’m glad upper management came to your aid. I was really worried they wouldn’t, like so many corporate BS companies.
Petra, I’m not shocked at all about who saved her. After all, it was my female horrid GYN who refused to talk to me when my prescription was having a hard time being filed and my male pharmacist who told me he had a daughter with my same condition who called her up and gave her clinic hell.
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Kristin Reply:
March 9th, 2012 at 11:58 pm (Quote)
And I realize that a store manager is not part of medical personnel, but women everywhere need to know about discrimination of this type. It happens more than you might think. While somewhat off topic, I felt this story was important to share, as it might give someone the courage to speak up ti her boss about unfair treatment during pregnancy.
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Based on how long you’ve worked for a company, isn’t it illegal to fire a worker for being pregnant? I do realize that this isn’t totally true, though. I worked in an intensely physical job with my first son’s pregnancy. I asked to be moved to a less physical position when I became pregnant. My manager kept delaying and delaying, and then started tactics to get me to quit (cutting my hours, making me work late, and reprimanding me for other people’s mistakes). I eventually did quit out of concern for me and my baby. OP, I’m sorry you had to go through this.
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Kasondra Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 5:30 am Kasondra(Quote)
Yep. They can’t outright fire you for “being pregnant” but if you can’t complete your job for some reason they CAN make it hell for you…
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Rebecca Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 5:40 am Rebecca(Quote)
It is illegal to fire someone for being pregnant, however it is *not* illegal (under federal law, state laws may vary) to fire someone who is pregnant for not being able to fulfill their work duties. However the employer would have to be able to show they hold all employees to the same standards. So if they didn’t fire the person who had some other medically indicated reason for breaks/not lifting they wouldn’t have much to stand on. My understanding is that labor courts tend to find in favor of the pregnant employees most of the time.
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Rebecca Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 5:42 am Rebecca(Quote)
He would have to show that his “checklist” of skills applied to the workplace. So if you don’t have to lift 50 pounds or be able to touch your toes in the course of your work, he can’t require it of you.
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Angelica Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 5:52 am Angelica(Quote)
Isn’t there something about reasonable accommodation too? If she could do her job but needed to always ask someone to help her lift, etc. don’t they have to at least try to make it?
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Rebecca Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 6:28 am Rebecca(Quote)
That’s going to depend on what the job is and what is a reasonable accomodation. For example, if you were generally the only person working most of your shifts at a feed store, needing someone to help you lift would *not* likely be a reasonable accomodation, while if there were generally more than one person there it might be. “reasonable” is from the eyes of the business, so it varies.
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RM Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 7:02 am RM(Quote)
Isn’t FMLA a FEDERAL law? If the employee has been there long enough, FMLA does cover pregnancy. I’m all about pregnancy not being a disability, but for god’s sake, there are some things you cannot reasonably expect to be done without risking the mother/baby; so FMLA all the way.
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Nica Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 7:12 am Nica(Quote)
Yes, it is, but it is inclusive any paid maternity leave, not in addition to it. So, if this person used FMLA leave while pregnant, she would have less time left after the baby was born.
For Federal FMLA, you get 12 weeks during a 12 month period. Some states do allow for additional FMLA time with different rules.
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Nica Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 7:14 am Nica(Quote)
Also forgot to add, not all employers are subject to FMLA regulations. There are a number of requirements an employer must meet, but the biggest one is the company must have 50 or more full-time employees. So this pretty much exempts any mom-and-pop type operations and small companies.
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RM Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 7:23 am RM(Quote)
You don’t have to take leave, but I totally forgot that it doesn’t exempt you from lifting… Oi. My boss was kind enough that I did not have to lift 50lb. bags. I recall now if I had come back with a work restriction, I would have had to take leave… so scratch that. And you’re right, doesn’t cover mom and pop shops.
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Rebecca Reply:
March 7th, 2012 at 8:01 am Rebecca(Quote)
Only about 60% of employees work for companies that are subject to FMLA regulations, that’s not counting the ones who have worked at a company less than a year and don’t qualify under it for that reason.
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