Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Feb
24
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“If We Had Know You Had An Appointment With The Midwives, We Would Have Refused To Schedule Your Appointment Here.”
“If we had known you had an appointment with the midwives, we would have refused to schedule your appointment here.” – OB Nurse to mother, who had previously delivered with that practice in a horrendous 39 hour intervention filled labor and was exploring options for a better birth with 2nd child.
There are 47 comments to this post.
Samantha had this to say,
Feb 24, 2012 @ 6:21 am (Quote)
I was yelled at by a nurse at an OBs practice over the phone after I said I was probably going to a midwife. She said I just wasted the doctor’s time when I had seen her for some pain I had early in pregnancy. Then the practice sent me a certified letter, one I had to sign for, dropping me from their service.
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Elizabeth Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 6:49 am (Quote)
That’s horrible the OB Nurse yelled at you 
Frankly if a nurse is going too yell at you for going too find a midwife or doctor or nurse practioner or whatnot, Then that nurse really shouldn’t be in that buisness.
I called my doctor’s office when I needed too transer my files (btw it’s $30 too get all that done >,< UG ) I got yelled at, and I told her, "Why do you care if my files are getting transfered? Geez. Your getting Cash. So Just keep your yelling too yourselves, and I'll be excpecting them in the mail." Then hung up got my files in the mail a few days later, with an apology letter.
She got ticked off because I was going too see a Nurse Practioner, whom I enjoy going too.
Unfortunatly, she's retiring and I get too look for a new nurse practionier
Anyway, if the nurse is going too take the time too yell at a patient on this. I hope the OP reported her :O So sorry that happened too you OP!
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So in a side by side comparison you expect to lose? Does this happen often? I guess that intervention filled 39 hour labor is pretty much the best you folks can do. Nursie-poo should be looking for a new job as these doctors just aren’t up to par. Of course neither is she. So maybe she better just hold on until retirement and buy plenty of lotto tickets.
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I’m confused….the midwives I’m thinking about using for my next birth (still TTC) state right on their website that their care is supplimentary to OB/GYN care. Is that for liability or do people really see both?
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Ashley Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 9:38 am (Quote)
a lot of people do see both just in case a complication develops in later pregnancy that they would have to transfer out of the care of the midwives. You would still want to have a relationship with a doctor in those instances. (i.e. developing preeclampsia, HELLP, ect)
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Rachel Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 9:43 am (Quote)
Hmm.. do those midwives work in an OB office? That would make sense that its “supplementary” since the midwives would consult with the OBs about anything out of the ordinary, and in that situation you would probably have the option of having some prenatals with OBs. If they are home birth midwives who work independently..then idk, most people who plan home births do not see an OB, but a few do (both with and without the OB knowing a home birth is planned)
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Tee Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 12:16 pm (Quote)
Rules vary from state to state. The midwife I studied under had a few OB’s that she worked closely with and those OB’s saw all of her women at least once. It was a good idea, in my opinion, because it meant that back up was in place should a woman need to be transferred.
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abba12 Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 4:17 pm (Quote)
The way it works where I live, the midwives have an OB which they sort of work under, they consult him for anything unusual, that way if a transfer is needed it’s a much smoother transition instead of being thrust into a random hospital with complications and unknown doctors.
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CNicole had this to say,
Feb 24, 2012 @ 9:07 am (Quote)
So would a receptionist for a plumber/electrician/roofer say, “If we had known you already got an estimate from , we would have never booked an estimate with you!”?, (especially to a repeat customer). No, that is part of business and they understand that getting other opinions is a good idea.
What if this woman either didn’t get in with the midwives (there is a giant wait list for them here) or decided that she didn’t want to hire them? Would she then be wothoutva care provider because the doctor had their feelings hurt due to the mom looking for what was pretty much a second opinion? Are they so used to “good patient” ego stroking that when someone even hints at saying “no” to them they get all “I don’t want to treat you anyway”?
I hope the OP had a wonderful experience with her midwife 
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Marie Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 11:06 am (Quote)
I completely agree–but unfortunately, we live in an era where that mainstream receptionist for a contractor would think it’s perfectly natural and normal to fix your sub-basement by offering to first seal and fumigate your house, then cut a hole in your screen doors, then dis-assemble your chimney and send the workmen down via lines into a hole they’d cut through all of your floors to fix a leaky pipe three stories down. And then they’d tell you, “Stop complaining! You’re lucky we were here to fix that broken chimney of yours and sew all of that carpet back together! It was an EMERGENCY!!!”
Can you imagine?? 
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Details Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 11:44 am (Quote)
Okay now I want to throw up. That is a little too close to what really happens. Something about sewing back up multiple layers of carpet just made me nauseous.
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That’s horrible! I had a vastly different experience in my first pregnancy. The NP I went to confirm the pregnancy was excited when I said I was going to the birth center. She also let me listen to my baby’s heartbeat when I saw her for a sinus infection. She said “That’s the great thing about going to a family practice for your care- you get another chance to hear your baby!”. I’m sorry, OP. I hope you went on to have a great pregnancy, and found another medical provider!
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By the way, this kind of response is why whenever I want to transfer care, I don’t bother telling anyone until the day the records need to be transferred. And oftentimes I don’t transfer records right away, either. I don’t want to get shut out of the old practice until I know there’s a new one established and I like them.
I certainly wouldn’t tell the nurse who’s getting my blood pressure and weight.
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Lindsay Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 1:27 pm (Quote)
Unfortunately, where I live you cannot transfer care until the next office gets your records. They won’t even schedule an appointment until the doctor looks over your records and decides whether or not to take you on. I was told I wouldn’t be accepted by every doctor and midwife in the city where I live because my original doctors where part of a residency program and they thought that the residents should have first pick of pregnancies. I had to go to a different town (and hospital) to have a doctor pick my pregnancy up- and it was only after I talked to the chief of medicine and the head OB that they chose to.
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Jane Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 1:37 pm (Quote)
What country do you live in? That’s insane! So pregnant women are basically at the mercy of a group of medical residents?
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Lindsay Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 1:42 pm (Quote)
I live in the US… in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The whole town is connected to the hospital, and the residency program is one of the things that puts it on the map. Unfortunately, I miscarried there and was having panic attacks whenever I went to an appointment with my next pregnancy. Also, the doctor walked in at 19 weeks (the week I had miscarried before) and told me he wanted me to take a pregnancy test to see if I was pregnant. I had seen him at least 4 times and he couldn’t remember (or see, apparently) that I was pregnant.
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Jane Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 1:45 pm (Quote)
Holy cow, that’s awful. Do they do the same thing to men seeking health care? Does a man who has an enlarged prostate need to beg the residents to be allowed to see a physician?
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Jane Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 1:49 pm (Quote)
Maybe the best option would be to be such a lousy patient that the residents would hate having you around and would sign off on transferring your care to a different physician.
To that end, you could avoid showering for five days before an appointment, eat a ton of garlic right before hand, insist the doctor sing to you rather than speak, write down every word the doctor said (Stop! Stop! You’re going too fast. Okay, now you said I need to have blood drawn. Does ‘blood’ have two Os in it? How do you draw blood? I thought it was hard enough to write in blood.”) and sit through the appointments picking at your toe nails with a toothpick while humming the Star Spangled Banner. (Doctor! I’m singing the National Anthem! You’re supposed to stand with your hand over your heart!!!”)
Then, the next week, you would have your pick of any doctor in the county. 
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C.Pratt Reply:
February 25th, 2012 at 1:03 pm (Quote)
Although your idea made me lol, I would be worried about them making a psychological referral. Still, I would probably try it, but make sure to tell them I was doing it in protest of policies.
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jenni Reply:
February 24th, 2012 at 5:11 pm (Quote)
Where in the UP do you live? i live just south of the bridge, and its not real pretty down here but at least there are more options! since Cheboygan closed down, people from St ignace are going all the way to Petoskey for care!
and those geniuses told me 2 my 39 week appointment that i should stay because i was dilated to 5, well, i made it almost another week, but the only reason they let me leave was because i lived 5 minutes from the hospital, if i lived in St ignace they wouldnt have let me go home.
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C.Pratt Reply:
February 25th, 2012 at 1:08 pm (Quote)
What do you mean wouldn’t have “LET” you leave? Did they actually tell you “you cannot leave” and then only changed their tune when you explained where you lived? Do they actually think they have the right to detain people against their will? This sort of thing makes me sick, like cold sweat nightmare sick.
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Lindsay Reply:
February 25th, 2012 at 1:21 pm (Quote)
Unfortunately, that’s exactly what they do up here. I went to an appointment and my doctor told me I was in labor. The office and hospital are connected, and so I went to the OB ward to be observed. The doctor came in, said I was 5 cm, and that she wasn’t letting me leave because she didn’t want me to deliver on the sidewalk. (I wasn’t having contractions, just dilated.) My fiance agreed with her, and I delivered my son that night… at 33 weeks. They never tried to stop labor that day.
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Lindsay Reply:
February 25th, 2012 at 1:23 pm (Quote)
I live in Marquette, but I delivered in Ishpeming. Like I said to the other commenter, I wasn’t given the option of going home. The healthcare up here is atrocious, and my (many) doctor friends who live elsewhere think its appalling when I tell them my stories. You must live in Petoskey?
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jenni Reply:
February 25th, 2012 at 2:26 pm (Quote)
Yes, i live in Petoskey. Wish it was traverse city sometimes! i have lots of friends who use those MW’s but since both of mine were rather short labors i’m afraid i’ll deliver before they get here!
and litterally- the Doctor checked me at my 39 week appointment and said “You are dilated to 5, are you sure you’re not feeling anything, back pain even? no? Nothing? I’m afraid you’re water is going to break if you leave here, i bet you’ll be back by tonight, i want you to head over to the hosptial as soon as possible” which he probably wouldnt have given me THAT option except i had my 2 yr old with me and i said “No, i need to go shopping. I’ll come back when contractions start.”
and he said “If you leave here you better take a towel with you, i think your water is going to break any minute now.”
and i said “i live 5 minutes away,”
“Oh well, i guess thats ok. but if you lived in St Ignace i wouldnt let you leave town.”
and that was one of the Drs that i felt was better than the rest….
i had no idea the situation was that bad in the Marquette area though, when the midwives phased out here they gave us letters saying they’d transfer care to TC or Marquette if you still wanted a MW!
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Jespren had this to say,
Feb 24, 2012 @ 10:19 am (Quote)
Can’t reply directly but if Amy above is still reading a lot of women will go to an OB to confirm the pregnancy, get initial labs, whatever they feel comfortable with the verify they are ‘low risk’ before transfering care to a midwife. I did that with mine because I needed an ultrasound to determine placental placement (I’m at a slightly elevated risk of placenta previa). This time, however, straight to the midwife as I found one with a functional relationship to an ultrasound clinic. But it’s not unusual to have an OB ‘check’ first.
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Response: “And if I had known that would be your attitude, I would have refused to schedule my appointment here.”
What is about birth in particular that makes people so unbelievably defensive in this regard? Are you pissed because you think she’s making a wrongheaded decision by considering a midwife? Wouldn’t the adult response to that be to have a reasoned conversation (read not condescending or bullying) about why you think an OB is a better, instead of refusing to see the patient? Presumably you think OB care is better than midwifery care, so are you really of the mind that people who have thoughts with which you disagree are not worthy of the (in your mind) higher standard of care an OB’s office provides? Or are you practicing your own form of eugenics by refusing to see “stupid” people?
In reality, your behavior and attitude do nothing more than reinforce why the midwifery model of care is often better.
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This one is mine. O, what a wonderful day that was…ugh. The reason I initially went back to that practice after my first birth was to verify pregnancy and get the bloodwork done. My appointment with the midwives was scheduled for the very next day. The full reaction from this nurse also included telling me how dangerous homebirth was, how the doctor would never approve, and how the interventions are always necessary as well as helpful. After this reaction from the nurse, it was CLEAR that this practice had NO INTENTION do delivery without interventions. I decided to fire them right then. I waited to request my records from them until I had my appointment scheduled with a new practice…with MIDWIVES. It’s such an amazing difference! So nice, respectful, UPLIFTING. My first son was 8 lbs 15 oz. The midwife said, “Well, we KNOW you can deliver a 8 15 baby. And that was inspite of all the interventions!”. Just entering 2nd Trimester now, feeling great, and looking forward to my next appointment in a few days. Imagine that!
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Kit had this to say,
Feb 24, 2012 @ 6:25 pm (Quote)
When I was looking for care for my pregnancy with DS, I googled the CNM who was top choice. I found a 10-year-old discussion about why she had to drop a patient from her care (it was on some medical discussion board). Apparently, because the patient had told her she was planning a homebirth the CNM could no longer provide prenatal care. I know some of that is for legal reasons. If something goes wrong at the homebirth, then she could be liable because she was the medical provider and she let the woman birth in such a “dangerous way.” But I think the real answer is money. They don’t bill for each appointment. After the birth, they bill for everything, including all of the prenatal care, in pme big chunk. If the patient is a homebirther, that would mess up their whole billing system.
Personally I think all of that reasoning is messed up, but in my state it is illegal for a medical professional to attend a homebirth. Maybe if we can get the law changed, we can get a more cooperative system in place.
FWIW, I had a great birth with the junior midwife in the practice, but I wish this CNM had been on that day. She was awesome and helped me through some very difficult choices.
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Robyn Reply:
February 25th, 2012 at 8:15 am (Quote)
I had asked my OB at my annual visit what his opinions on home birth were. He was very respectful throughout the whole conversation and even said that if home birth was a reasonable option that I would be a good candidate. He has an overall more natural view on things (I even learned that he was looking into being my midwife’s backup OB).
He mentioned that in general they don’t like providing care to women who make it known that they are planning to birth at home. Whether they come for full prenatal care or just come in for blood work, if they give a pregnant woman care then they are considered responsible for that woman. If something bad happens during the birth, then they can be held responsible.
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Thank you for being so helpful in the decision making process.
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