Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Feb
14
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Well, That’s Not So Bad, Is It?”
“Well, that’s not so bad, is it?” – Health Care Provider in a reply to a woman complaining that a medication was affecting her sex life by preventing orgasm.
There are 27 comments to this post.
Alyson Miers had this to say,
Feb 14, 2012 @ 6:37 pm (Quote)
There’s a difference between “it could be worse” and “why don’t you just put up with it?” Especially in medicine. It can always get worse. That doesn’t mean it’s okay.
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I have absolutely no idea how this could be “not so bad.” Dry mouth is “not so bad” as long as the medication is extremely necessary. No orgasm had far-reaching effects on your enjoyment of life and marriage, and your self esteem. It should be taken seriously.
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Mama Wrench had this to say,
Feb 14, 2012 @ 7:15 pm (Quote)
That depends. Would you say the same thing if the patient was a man?
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Mary Reply:
February 14th, 2012 at 7:27 pm (Quote)
Exactly!!!!
There are medications specifically designed to give a man an erection, which one would logically follow would lead to orgasm. I bet that if it were a man, it would have been addressed immediately.
We females like orgasms,too, and to have them removed via medication is NOT.COOL!!!!
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Jespren had this to say,
Feb 14, 2012 @ 8:05 pm (Quote)
@ Seriously? (Stupid cell won’t let me reply). I was thinking more long term. Teeth falling out is rather permanent, while loss of orgasm, theoretically, should stop once the medicine is discontinued. I would agree that the *permanent* loss of orgasm would rank as more serious to me than lost teeth too. After all, I could get dentures 
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Jessica had this to say,
Feb 14, 2012 @ 9:40 pm (Quote)
Well gee, I guess I should just be happy enough that a man wants to sleep with me at all and just be a good wifey even if I really never get to orgasm ever again. I should be grateful for the ones I had in the past and quit whining. Isn’t that what you’re getting paid to lecture me about? Not to investigate why I have this side-effect or if there’s an alternative option.
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My husband was on medication that stopped him from ejaculating, the doctor halved the (supposedly nececary?) dose and told him to come back if he still couldn’t so they could switch medication.
See, didn’t you hear, sex is an absolutely nececary male function, women just facilitate it. Men NEED to enjoy it, women just need to tolerate it!
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Knitted in the Womb Reply:
February 15th, 2012 at 8:14 pm (Quote)
Exactly…women just need to tolerate it…Dear Abby said so, so it’s true, right?
I’m completely and totally serious. A man wrote to Abby complaining that his wife said that sex had become painful with age and she told him that his wife should keep having sex. Sigh.
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YES it’s so bad.
I can’t imagine broaching this uncomfortable topic just to be brushed off.
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Details Reply:
February 15th, 2012 at 7:40 am (Quote)
This is pretty close to my thinking. If I’ve already weighed whether or not I want to bring up this touchy subject and decided that it was important enough to discuss it with you then you better start paying atention. If I thought it was not a big deal I would have kept my mouth shut.
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road2vba2c had this to say,
Feb 15, 2012 @ 6:26 am (Quote)
What if eating didn’t stop hunger? What if drinking didn’t stop thirst? What if going to the bathroom didn’t stop the urge to go? What if sleep didn’t stop being tired? It’s a bodily function, and if it doesn’t happen, it messes up your life.
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yes, it is so bad because it’s an orgasm. have you ever had one? did you like it or are you more a take it or leave it sort of orgasmer? are you not having sex currently? hmm, interesting, because i think this statement has more to do with your misguided feelings rather than my orgasm. or perhaps you’re just an asshole. now, fix it.
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Morgaine had this to say,
Feb 15, 2012 @ 11:44 am (Quote)
This is the same problem Im having with my Zoloft. Im a little more limited because I am breastfeeding, and when I tried to stop taking the medication it was a MELTDOWN. But I still brought it up to my doctor who at least talked to me about different ways I could help myself out.
It really does affect my relationship though. My SO feels as though hes not doing a good job, so he feels guilty and then I feel guilty, and its just a LOT of stress.
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TMI warning guys, I have a high sex drive. Really high. If I want it and I don’t get it I’ve been known to cry.
So If I couldn’t orgasm and this was the response I got, I don’t even know how badly I would react. Depending on how long it had been going on, the nurse might just walk in on me bawling and violently beating this OB at the same time.
If I bring it up, it’s because it’s bad. If you can’t help or won’t go get someone who will.
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Been there, done that, while taking Effexor. It was awful, being able to get 95% of the way there and no further. :/
Fortunately, I managed to get off Effexor (which was a pretty awful process too) and fix my depression a different way altogether.
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It took me a long time to get help for my depression, and when I did all the doctor seemed to want was to put me on medication. All I can say about all that is that I never knew beforehand that a person can be relieved of the symptom (depression) while being just as miserable as before. Sure, I wasn’t in a dark place, but I was strung tight like a wire and unable to relax. My personality changed and I stopped laughing at all. I had complained all along about how tense it made me, and he had shuffled my pills without really changing them. This was the final complaint, the one I could quantify and put into words for him, and it really was a great shame to me to even bring it up, so when he asked me this question I bowed my head and nodded. It wasn’t more than three months later when I stopped taking my medication on my own, which turned out to be a pretty dreadful idea all around. I can’t help but wonder whether a lot of things would have gone differently if he had been kinder when I asked that one question, but of course he never did listen to me much in general.
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What a lousy doctor.
Emily D. Reply:
February 15th, 2012 at 7:07 pm (Quote)
Ugh, how awful for you! I have trouble with this, too, I think, though to be honest I was on the meds before I ever had sex so I don’t actually know if it’s a direct effect. I just know that my sex drive dropped off when I started taking them, and that I only orgasm maybe 10% of the time when having sex. It’s awful, so I fake it most of the time in an attempt to preserve my husband’s self esteem.
Talk to another doctor, or a therapist. You can relieve the depression without changing who you are inside!
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Well, um, in comparision to say…my teeth falling out I suppose not, but it *is* a rather significant side effect.
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Seriously?... Reply:
February 14th, 2012 at 7:50 pm Seriously?...(Quote)
Actually… I would much rather have my orgasms than my teeth
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