Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
31
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“You’re “F**king Crazy If You Think You’re Going To Have A VBAC At Home.”
“You’re f**king crazy if you think you’re going to have a VBAC at home.” – OB to mother who shared her desire to VBAC at home.
There are 46 comments to this post.
I can use potty-words too! You’re a F*&^ing F*^^ who’s F*&^ed in the F(*^ing head if you think I’m going to let your F(&^ing hands F*^& with my F(&^ing body now! F*^% off and have a great F*&^ing day!
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first time mommy Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 8:10 pm (Quote)
LMFAO! oh my god oh my god…I just spit my tea all over my laptop! I’m crying from laughing SO HARD!
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Alyson Miers had this to say,
Jan 31, 2012 @ 7:12 pm (Quote)
From what I hear about a lot of hospitals, her chances of a successful VBAC are a lot better if she doesn’t leave her home.
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learn the risks. make an informed decision. don’t be bullied, but dont pick a birthplan over the health of the baby.
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Details Reply:
February 1st, 2012 at 4:46 am (Quote)
Well I agree with your don’t be bullied comment! So are you supporting homebirth as long as the mother has done the research and made an informed decision and only withholding your support if the mother seems to be over the edge to where she wouldn’t consent to a hospital birth no matter what, not even for placenta previa? I hope that is what you meant.
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No, what’s crazy is to have a repeat c-section at home.
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Mandie Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 8:10 pm (Quote)
Which is what Beyonce SHOULD have done! Would have cost less, and been more private!
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first time mommy Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 8:16 pm (Quote)
I heard that was a big rumor? On her official twitter said was born naturally. Although, I know could be a lie 
I do find it fishy though that the dad who “couldn’t” see his babies alerted the media first and not the hospital. The hospital found out about his “report” through the media. Idk but I’d be raising hell with the actual hospital first.
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Lizzie Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 9:51 pm (Quote)
the only thing I’m wondering about is was it natural as in no drugs or natural as in vaginal. Cause from my experience many of the doctors and the world call it natural if you vaginaly give birth. Although what natural for one is not natural for another, i.e. one person might think natural for them means no drugs, no hostipal, no midwife, out in the woods, and another might think natural for them is drugs, hostipal, pit, and vaginal delivery. I would like to know more about the whole sitution, though.
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first time mommy had this to say,
Jan 31, 2012 @ 8:11 pm (Quote)
And you’re f*king crazy if you think you’re going to continue to be my OB!
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Heather had this to say,
Jan 31, 2012 @ 8:50 pm (Quote)
@Scott,
A mother (especially here) would NEVER put a birth plan over their baby’s safety.
Many moms here do research the statistics and find them to be in favor of things like home birth, VBAC, HBAC, etc.
Doctors are the ones who don’t tell you the risks of “being a good patient” and accepting everything they want to do to you. There’s a risk to everything, and birth shouldn’t be the place where informed consent doesn’t exist.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 9:53 pm (Quote)
Well put.
When I was in the hospital for preterm labor (at the same time as the “So you’re okay with this?” post) the OB said, “Are you just going to refuse a c/s no matter what?” I said no, of course not, but I’ll only consent if there’s a medical reason to, as I have a general policy against being sliced open when a need hasn’t presented itself.
I honestly think that a LOT of OBs are of the opinion that a woman seeking NCB has just that mentality, and that their hostility arises from the assumption that those women really do value “natural” experiences over safe and healthy babies. The whole concept of “yes, and” doesn’t occur to them at all. It really is a shame. If they’d actually talk WITH us rather than AT us they’d stop forcing so many of us out of their doors… and make it safer for everybody.
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Jewels Reply:
February 1st, 2012 at 3:17 am (Quote)
Agreed with both of you. I’ve heard so many people (doctors, other mothers, etc) say things like that about women who plan for homebirth/VBAC/HBAC/intervention-free/drug-free/whatever. It never seems to occur to them that women who choose these options are not choosing them *instead* of the baby’s safety, but *because* of the baby’s safety. They also never seem to think that Plan A might not be the only plan mama has for her birth (I think I got to at least plan D for mine, haha! Baby was stubborn, but I was more so, LOL!).
So often I’ve heard people say (to me & to pretty much any woman who’s ever done any research about birth) things like “Well, it’s great that you’re hoping for XYZ, but you need to keep an open mind, just in case things go wrong!”. Um, duh! Maybe I/we should start replying “Well, it’s great that you’re hoping to arrive at the hospital 20 minutes after your contractions start, but you need to keep an open mind, just in case your car breaks down on the way & you have to give birth by the side of the road”?
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Jane Reply:
February 3rd, 2012 at 10:44 am (Quote)
That’s the issue, isn’t it? Who’s got the more open mind? The person who considers every option and selects the one that’s best for her, or the one who does what’s culturally expected without thinking for five seconds about the other options?
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Oh, did I mention the part where you’re fired? I guess you probably picked that up from the “at home” part of our discussion. Nope, I won’t be requiring the services of a surgeon.
@Scott – If you had taken the time to “learn the risks” yourself, you would know that in most cases, home (near a hospital) is a much safer place to VBAC than in the hospital, which sets women up for failure and routinely uses interventions that CAUSE uterine rupture (the big fear with VBAC), “failure to progress”, arrest of descent, infection, shoulder dystocia, and a host of other scary things. That isn’t to say all home birth midwives are perfect in contrast, but I’d feel much safer with someone who was actually trained to attend births, rather than trained to surgically remove parasitic babies from their host mothers. Though I will be grateful for those surgeons at the appropriate times, normal labor–especially with a scar on my uterus that THEY caused through THEIR failure/lies–is not one of those times.
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I love how docs straight up ignore the research. As in the research shows in most situtions, a VBAC is sooo much safer than a repeat c-section. and when you bring up that research they say they’ve never heard of it. But what do I know, I’m only a woman who trusts her body and knows her body can do amazing things. You’ve been to medical school doc, but while we’re at it can I have a list of your ACOG guidelines that you ACTUALLY follow. Cause truth be told most docs only follow like 2 of THEM!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll just take my records and take my F*****G crazy butt home, thanks!!!!!!!!!!
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She would be slightly crazy to bring up HBAC with an OB that she hasn’t been told even supports VBAC. I think you would have to be living under a rock to think that the average OB would support that. If her home birth midwife sent her to this person then I can see where she would feel safe in sharing. If she had some emergency and had to go to the hospital and they asked who is your doctor and she said I’m birthing at home (with or without a certain midwife) she really should have expected some push back. No reason for the doctor to drop the F bomb. But the objection itself shouldn’t surprise anyone. That is the way many of them think. You knew that. That is part of why you are birthing at home.
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Melissa Reply:
February 1st, 2012 at 9:52 am (Quote)
True…
But one can be offended without being surprised.
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becky Reply:
February 6th, 2012 at 1:14 pm (Quote)
well actually she was my OB before becoming pregnant…this was my first baby, 11 years after my emergent c section…i had no idea she wasn’t pro vbac…i had no idea ANYONE was against VBAC at the time until having a conversation with her about my birth plans…after which i said i was going to pursue homebirth then, and hence this commentary…
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Details Reply:
February 6th, 2012 at 1:33 pm (Quote)
Oh I’m sorry, you must hve been completely blindsided. When I had my first I thought natural childbirth was the standard operating procedure at all decent hospitals. I know I was completely blindsided when I figured out that I had it all wrong. I remember once a cesarean always a cesarean. You must have hit that brief period of time between 1994-1998 when VBAC was actually being supported, but that was before cytotec started causing all those ruptures and they choose to blame it on VBAC rather than the misuse of a powerful drug.
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1. Don’t swear at me. It’s unprofessional and rude.
2. Don’t call me names. It’s unprofessional and rude.
3. Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do. It’s not your decision, and it’s unprofessional and rude.
4. Since you are clearly unprofessional and rude, and don’t believe in following the ethical or evidence-based guidelines of your own trade union, you are fired. I only allow people who are *professionals* to provide my health care.
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cc had this to say,
Feb 1, 2012 @ 11:05 am (Quote)
I had my vbac at home with a Midwife. So I must f***ing crazy. I did it for my safety and my DD safety. I did my research and she was baby #4 you learn a thing or 2 along the way. The story behind why I chose this is a mother’s worst night mare. DD will 2 months old on the 4th.
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#win
Sorry, but does anyone else think this is really creepy? To me, the way it’s worded, it has tones of abuse. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but to me, it rings of “you’re crazy if you think I’ll let you.” Like the stereotypical abusive person…”you’re crazy if you think you’re going anywhere.” Just creeps the heck out of me…
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Susan Peterson had this to say,
Feb 1, 2012 @ 4:51 pm (Quote)
F-ing crazy here too. If every baby you have once you have ever had a section, is a VBAC, then I had 6 of them at home!
Susan Peterson
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becky dodson had this to say,
Feb 2, 2012 @ 8:42 pm (Quote)
this is my quote! in fact, the doctor was a WOMAN which made it all the more frustrating. she eventually “broke up” with me because she didnt support my idea of natural birth…i see her around town sometimes and i always have to fight the urge to walk up to her with my FOUR HBACS (the last 2 being breech twins) and say…f@ck YOU lady, i DID IT!
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Susan Peterson Reply:
February 3rd, 2012 at 10:10 am (Quote)
I wouldn’t say the F you part, but why don’t you walk up to her and tell her? I know she will say “You were very lucky” but still, it will become part of her personal data bank, that someone did do this and it turned out ok.
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well it was her residency’s policy that if a woman were to be attempting a vbac, the doctor would have to stay there, by her side, for her entire labor/birth. she explained that this would be very expensive for her since she usually only shows up for delivery…and she may have to wake up in the middle of the night, etc. so essentially my vbac would be an inconvenience to her. so when i said i was trying for home, she let out that remark…while meant to be cordial, it has always stuck with me…i imagine myself saying exactly what i typed in my original reply, but the truth is, i feel super anxious when i see her. she had zero faith in me as a birthing woman and it still sits in an uncomfortable space.
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