Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
31
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…How Did You Ever Get Pregnant In The First Place?”
“That’s uncomfortable? I only have two fingers in! How did you even get pregnant in the first place?” – OB to mother during a cervical check at a prenatal exam, when the mother stated the exam was uncomfortable.
There are 33 comments to this post.
Jessica had this to say,
Jan 31, 2012 @ 11:04 am (Quote)
Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much…
Maybe the problem is that they’re your fingers. Having sex with someone we love usually feels much more comfortable than having a stranger we only visit for medical treatment shove one, two, or ten fingers into our vaginas.
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Anyone else find it creepy to compare an exam to sex? That any of their tools or fingers compare to sexual penetration that is generally aided by arousal?
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Tara R. Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 11:38 am (Quote)
We must have cross-posted. YES. It IS creepy. Extremely.
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Vallery Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 1:10 pm (Quote)
RIGHT?!? I thought I was the only one whose brain went that direction when hearing comments like this. Skeeves me out. I had one really bad pelvic exam before where the (female!!!!) tech shoved what felt like her whole fist up there all a sudden without warning me (as if she didn’t have a vagina herself and was completely clueless); when I flinched, she looked at me all serious and miffed and ordered me: “You need to RELAX”, like I was seriously ruining her day. I didn’t even say anything (I was 18 and thought that was unfortunately just how it went), but looking back now I want to clock her one. If I’m ever encounter a winner of a sex reference like this, I think I’ll just ask, “Is this how YOU have sex?”
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M. Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 5:09 pm (Quote)
YES. This is not the only thing that could have been considered sexual harrassment that he said to me, and now reading the reviews about him online, to other people as well. I should have read the reviews first. Tip for the future: Don’t pick the first guy on the list as your OB just for being the first guy on the list. Having a name that begins with “A” doesn’t mean he’s any better than anyone else.
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Maybe this doctor needs to go back and take a high-school level course on basic human sexuality. Um, remember that thing called “arousal?” It makes a world of difference.
That doctor disgusts me.
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I didn’t get pregnant by getting fingered by a stranger. Kinda makes all the difference…
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You all keep talking about how sex is different because of the presence of “arousal”. I dont know about you.. but My husband NEVER inserts his penis, or fingers, into my CERVIX when we are having sex. There is a major difference between sex and a vaginal exam. Just because the Physicians fingers go in through he vaginal opening just like a penis, does not mean that is where it stops.
I think the only time anything is inserted through the cervix to impregnate is during IVF.. and that doesn’t feel good either. So what is your point exactly?
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Krista Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 2:11 pm (Quote)
I tell you what, when my cervix gets bumped by my husband I jump away from him! No fun.
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Kimberly Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 2:33 pm (Quote)
This. I find cervical exams hell, not because of the vaginal penetration, buy the CERVICAL penetration. My husband & I can only use certain positions because otherwise he hits my cervix and it sucks.
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Vallery Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 2:51 pm (Quote)
Huh? I don’t think anyone is refuting that, unless I’m misinterpreting your hostility. I know I for one was talking about OB comments similar to this one in terms of vaginal exams, pelvic exams, and PAP smears mostly because 1) often the discomfort of each (though different from one another) are usually explained away by comparing each to sex, and 2) I’ve never had a cervical check, but *have* had PAPs and pelvic exams, and understand the frustration of the discomfort being dismissed as the “woman’s problem” in one way or another. Sure the types of exams are different, but the OB comments are similar, and the issue is the same: women are experiencing discomfort at the hands of physicians (whether that discomfort can be avoided or not), and instead of the provider being compassionate to that, the discomfort is being dismissed and blamed on the patient. We’re all on the same page, and the same team here; why so feisty?
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Megan Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 3:41 pm (Quote)
No no. not feisty. I guess Feisty towards the Physician who thinks that her fingers in someone’s cervix is = to intercourse.. but not so much. Like other people said above i have had my husband bump my cervix and that alone is uncomfortable enough. Let along have something inserted into it.
I think you missinterpreted the context of the tone of my post. More sarcasm. Less offensive nature towards the previous posts. Because I too agree with them that making this connection of vaginal exam and intercourse is beyond outrageous and hints that the physician didnt pay attention in med school about the “birds and the bees” lol
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Megan Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 3:43 pm (Quote)
OH and when i said “what if your point exactly..” i was speaking “to the OB”. LOL
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Vallery Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 8:01 pm (Quote)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH, you know, I had a feeling after the fact that I might’ve been misinterpreting the anger, LOL. Reading your original comment in context of it being directed toward the physician makes much more sense, haha. I thought you were upset that we were talking about it compared to intercourse! I gotcha now. 
And I agree…I haven’t had a cervix check before, but can totally relate to the cervix bump. That is painful stuff. :-/
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first time mommy had this to say,
Jan 31, 2012 @ 1:47 pm (Quote)
Well, you see, when two people love each other very very much…or are just really really horny….
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Mama Wrench had this to say,
Jan 31, 2012 @ 2:18 pm (Quote)
Look. When you agree to take care of the kids in the morning, make me breakfast and sleep on “the wet spot,” THEN you can treat my vagina like my husband does.
Otherwise, you should be AT LEAST as gentle with it as he is.
When I was in labor with my first, during pushing, the nurse shoved her whole hand into my vagina to “help out” with pooping by pushing on my posterior wall as hard as she could. It was approximately a million times more painful than a baby head coming out of there.
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This is actually my second submission to make it. I could write a book with his unprofessional comments, including farting during my C-section and mentioning that they should up the fire risk level up a number. I was readmitted to the hospital for a hemorrhage a week postpartum and the first thing he said to me when he walked in my hospital room the next morning was “How could you do this to me?” He works independently so there’s nothing I could complain to his practice about, since his practice is just him. I’m just leaving a lot of 0-star reviews and warning anyone I know in my city about him.
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Rebecca Reply:
February 1st, 2012 at 4:38 am (Quote)
You can also complain at the hospital(s?) he has admitting privileges at. As I understand it, they have to abide by hospital policies and hospitals don’t like having their reputations marred by the doctors, even if the doctors aren’t employees.
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Wow.
I had to go to PT for vaginusmus (basically painful penetration from anything). I can tell you for a fact that size is not the only determining factor in what is painful or uncomfortable for penetration. Having a single finger inserted was FAR more uncomfortable for me than having my husband’s penis inserted. Fingers are not shaped the same way, nor do they move the same way, as a penis. And having the speculum inserted and opened for my pap was FAR less uncomfortable than having my husband’s penis inserted, despite arousal and the fact that those speculums are big and open wide!
See, there’s more to it than size. There’s shape, texture, movement, force, etc. So if your patient tells you something is uncomfortable, BELIEVE HER!
Let’s compare this doc to my current midwives, who, upon finding out I’d been in PT for vaginusmus said, very respectfully, “We do a minimum of vaginal exams here, but if we all decide we want to do one at some point please let us know if there is anything we can do to make it more comfortable for you. We’ll be sure to talk about it before proceeding.” See how much better that was?
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…and yet you never consider that you might be being rough…sigh.
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