Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
30
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“That’s Fine, But I’ll Be The One Who Decides How Well You’re Handling Labor.”
“That’s fine, but I’ll be the one who decides how well you’re handling labor.” – OB to mother who stated during a prenatal that she hoped to birth unmedicated.
There are 19 comments to this post.
“Wait, you’re going to be there during my labor? For long stretches of time? Really?”
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Jane Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 5:06 am (Quote)
Oh, I just realized the doctor meant “handling labor” to mean “dilating just exactly as quickly as I want you to,” and not “coping with the contractions well and using different laboring techniques to make good steady progress for maximum benefit of the baby.”
So the mom says “I want to birth unmedicated” and the doctor immediately stakes out labor as personal territory by saying “I’ll decide how well you’re handling it,” but they each mean different things by “handling it.” I think I’d ask the doctor for a definition of “handling it” and then, as Wendy said, find a different doctor or midwife.
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Sheva Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 5:44 am (Quote)
It could be that the doctor did mean ‘handling labor’ as in ‘coping with the contractions’. Just, what most docs call coping and what actually *is* coping are two different things.
Moaning, making noises, singing, crying, and moving with the contractions (what they would see as writhing in agony) are all methods of coping. They think sitting up in bed watching TV is the only proper way to cope. Hence their need for moms to have an epidural.
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Bonita Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 12:04 pm (Quote)
Yeah. With my most recent homebirth I was moaning loudly an banging the walls (rhythm helped me focus) and was perfectly “in control”, just loud. I’m sure a hospital would have wanted me to be the good little tv watching patient at that point.
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God? Is that you?
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Jerry Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 5:25 am (Quote)
^^This 
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Dreamy Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 7:02 am (Quote)
I mean, we’ve seen many such examples of the not-so-fabled “God complex,” but this– though it might not be the most horrifying, per se– is probably one of the best. Assuming the OB means he/she will “decide” whether a woman needs pain medication…
Well, let’s see.
First of all, the OB is saying that he/she ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW MUCH PAIN SOMEONE ELSE IS IN *AND* KNOWS HOW MUCH PAIN SOMEONE ELSE IN AN ENTIRELY DISTINCT BODY CAN OR WANTS TO HANDLE. So that’s 90% of the error right there.
But second, administration of pain medication is optional. Sometimes it’s optional in name only, and sometimes it’s almost 100% elective, but it’s one of your “more” optional procedures nonetheless, and *usually* doesn’t have a positive effect on the actual progress and outcome of labor. The doc doesn’t (or legally shouldn’t) have the final say on any procedure or drug, but especially one like this. It would (almost) be like a dentist saying “That’s fine, but I’ll be the one who decides whether you’ll be buying the Sonicare 110 or the more expensive but basically functionally-equivalent Sonicare 120-A.”
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This was my submission. I am a doula and CBE and had a mom in class who was going to one of the practices with one of the worst reputations and statistics in the area, and the head of the practice at that (she didn’t realize this at first). When I encouraged her to discuss her goals with him and ask lots of questions, this was the reply she got (mind you, after he LAUGHED at her). She did promptly switch to a terrific CNM and ultimately had a completely unmedicated and very well-supported hospital birth, spending most of her intense labor in a big tub of warm water. So there.
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Um no doc, last time I checked I was the one giving birth so I think i’ll decide how I’M handling labor. And besides, if you try to do anything to me without my consent I will file assault charges on you!!!!!!!
As a doula I tell my clients the 4 magic words are I DO NOT CONSENT. Cause as soon as those come out of your mouth you have tied the docs hands, cause in all states if you do anything without consent you have committed assault!!!!!!
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Susan Peterson Reply:
February 1st, 2012 at 5:06 pm (Quote)
Have you not read those stories of women being pushed down the hall to the OR screaming “I do not consent!” ? Of medications pushed into IV’s without even telling the mother?
You can be sure the medical record will read that the laboring woman requested the medication, and agreed to the C section.
All the power is in their hands. Woman can try this, and it may work for some, but it is no magic “safe word.”
Susan Peterson
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My moron OB seemed to have this same idea. She was my OB early in pregnancy and I left her for being an incompetent boob. When I got to the hospital to deliver she was on call. Among other things, she gave me drugs to “cope” that I did not consent to and specifically said no to. When I got her response to my complaint to the medical board it said I was not coping well and needed the medication. I want to track her down and slap her. However, her hospital privileges have been revoked for now (due to a different incident where she injured a baby) so I have to take some satisfaction in that for now.
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Ha! Fortunately for me, I’m the one deciding who to hire for this labor. Unfortunately for you, you’r not it. Next!
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