Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
30
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“So, You’re Okay With This? Even If It Means Your Wife & Baby Dying?”
So, you’re okay with this? Even if it means your wife and baby dying?” — OB to father after laboring VBAC mother stated she did not want a routine repeat c-section
There are 20 comments to this post.
Jessica had this to say,
Jan 30, 2012 @ 3:47 pm (Quote)
Are you okay with letting your wife and kids drive? Even if it could kill them?
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CNicole Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 3:53 pm (Quote)
Or eat a banana for that matter? (a friend’s daughter nearly choked to death on a banana)
Sigh, there is so much wrong with this quote. Not only is this a scare tactic, it is a “divide and conquer” tactic to pit dad against mom in a time where she needs his support.
AND he is giving misleading information that the repeat cesarean is safer, the risk of maternal death in a repeat cesarean is HIGHER than in a VBAC!
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hoho Reply:
February 6th, 2012 at 1:18 pm (Quote)
I know many people who have had a successful vbac but I actually didn’t know this statistic. you would think that the doctors and nurses (and yes even some crazy midwifes and doulas) could at least google some of this crap.
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Stephanie Reply:
February 27th, 2012 at 11:36 am (Quote)
It says “laboring VBAC mother” clearly there was something going wrong and the doctor knew that a c-section would be safer than a vaginal one. The mother is being inconsiderate of her baby’s health by refusing to have a c-section. Your examples are completely irrelevant to this situation.
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This comment makes me so glad that my husband stands behind me 100% with my plan for a VBAC with our twins. He gets pissed when ever a doctor tries to pull this kind of BS.
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Jen Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 5:39 pm (Quote)
Good luck on your birth from a fellow twin mama.
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Bonita Reply:
January 30th, 2012 at 6:03 pm (Quote)
I’ve never had a c-section, but I know my husband would have some choice words for a dr who tried to say something like that to me. He knows his stuff and refuses to be used against me. Drs try this all the time when we are both at a well baby checkup and refuse some routine procedures.
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Dorothy Kernaghan-Baez had this to say,
Jan 30, 2012 @ 4:47 pm (Quote)
Crystal, I am so glad your husband is supportive. We hear way too many horror stories of betrayal and I have lived such a scenario. I chose to have no more children because of it.
Even a decent man can be bullied by the “professionals” into behaving in ways his wife would never expect.
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This makes me so mad. The doctor with my first labour told my husband I was going to die unless I followed hospital policy.
Luckily he was clued up and when the doctor pulled the “dead baby” card during my 2nd labour he told her to stop being a bully, go outside and change her attitude and come back in when she was ready to help us have a baby. My hero.
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Jenny Islander Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 8:20 am (Quote)
GO DUDE! GO DUDE!!!
Your husband should have won the Labor Room Mensch of the Year Award!
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Alyson Miers had this to say,
Jan 30, 2012 @ 6:40 pm (Quote)
By saying this, Dr. Stabby-Hands is suggesting to Dad that both Mama and baby have a higher risk of dying in a VBAC than in RCS. Seeing how the risk of maternal death is several times higher in RCS than in any vaginal delivery, this is not just a scare tactic, I would say it is an outright falsehood.
Lying to patients can’t possibly be ethical.
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Mama Wrench had this to say,
Jan 31, 2012 @ 2:00 pm (Quote)
This one was mine.
We were visiting family out of state over the holidays this past year when I started having contractions at 35 weeks that continued for over 12 hours. I called the nearest hospital and asked if they had a hospital policy on VBAC and was told they didn’t have a ban policy, I’d just have to sign a waiver; so, we went in and I was admitted. I was only 1cm so I figured it was just prodromal labor and didn’t expect they’d have me stay.
Then the OB on call came in, expressed concern about my going into labor at 35 weeks, and within 30 seconds of looking at my admission paperwork and seeing a previous c-section, said “Since you do have a previous c-section, I recommend a repeat cesarean.” I said I did not intend to have a repeat c/s and would prefer a TOLAC, I understood the risks and had extensively researched the risks and benefits. First she claimed that there was a 5-8% chance of *death,* then said there was a 1-2% chance of rupture, and would not give any information on the actual risk of catastrophic rupture. When I said that the WHO says it’s actually a .2-.8% chance of rupture she kept saying I was wrong, like it was a personal offense that I was challenging her statistics.
Then I started having some harder contractions and stopped talking to her and she started in on my husband, and came out with this line. I looked at him and could see he was completely shocked; I give him credit for keeping his composure when he said, “If it’s a less than 1% risk? Yeah, I’m completely okay with her making that call, since she’s done the research and I haven’t.” (He since has 
) Then she left the room and said she’d have to write a TOLAC waiver for me. She never came back into the room after that, but a nurse did bring in the “waiver”, which she’d hand-written on notebook paper.
Luckily the contractions stopped on their own with some fluids and rest (the stomach virus I’d had the day before must’ve dehydrated me) and we went home. My husband was fuming the whole way out to the car about how blatantly she was trying to manipulate us and said he’s never experienced a doctor talking to him like that (he has a chronic illness and sees physicians frequently). I just told him I wasn’t surprised at all, and that that’s why I spend so much time on NCB sites, so I can respond to their scare tactics.
We went on to have a successful VBAC at another hospital with a FANTASTIC, supportive and compassionate staff
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Kathryn Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 3:06 pm (Quote)
Glad to hear it turned out well, and good for your husband for sticking up for you!
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Lisa Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 3:19 pm (Quote)
Your husband rocks! Glad everything went so well for your VBAC!
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Details Reply:
February 1st, 2012 at 5:30 am (Quote)
Congraduations! Please send Dr. Paranoid a letter about your fabulous birth. It would be wonderful coming from your husband and commenting on how no doctor has ever spoken to him like that before. She should be put in her place. Delivering a baby at 35 weeks rather than trying to stop labor when mom is only at 1 cm just because of a prior c-section is very bad medicine to start off with. But quoting fake statisics and going after dad is criminal!
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Add Your Comment.
“The only thing I’m unhappy with in this situation is a provider who seems to think s/he should cause dissent between husband and wife. First, I’m more than happy to have my wife being an active participant in her own health care. Secondly, if you have facts, please produce them rather than going for the emotional ploy.”
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