Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
25
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…We’d Hate For You To Got To The Hospital And Then Be Sent Home.”
“Wait until it starts hurting. We’d hate for you to go to the hospital and then be sent home.” – OB to mother who called with contractions very close together. Mother went in anyway and was 8 cm.
There are 38 comments to this post.
When you truely become the person in charge you call the doctor and tell him/her that you are headed for the hospital. I am convinced that part of the process of becoming a mom is finding your voice to where you stop asking “may I” and start telling people how it is going to be. When mom learns to listen to her gut then she is ready. I’m not the slightest bit surprised by this comment. It seems to be par for the course. Part of the tortue that is the journey to motherhood. btw there is no embarrassment to going to the hospital and being sent home. That is what they are there for!
[Reply]
bensengel had this to say,
Jan 25, 2012 @ 4:59 am (Quote)
This actually happened to me. They said I could not possibly be in labor because I was still talking through contractions and I did not progress 1cm in an hour so they sent me home. I looked at my mother in law and said “I guess I will be delivering in an ambulance then…” Well the ambulance (which came from a fire station less than a block from my house) didn’t make it, and I was talking to the dispatcher the entire time! Even through delivery.
[Reply]
Our midwife told my wife the whole time she was pregnant to not go to the hospital until contractions were two minutes apart or were right on top of the other … she was pushing the baby out and 10cm when they were two minutes apart … but I guess she could have waited anyway as they made her HOLD THE BABY IN for about 15 minutes after she started telling them that it was time. She didn’t know why they were telling her this so she did it, thinking that it really wasn’t time. Turns out they hadn’t called the doctor yet and they needed time to let the doctor get to the hospital. My wife still says that next time she is pushing the baby out and I better just catch it because “holding it in” for those 15 minutes was the most painful part.
Long story short … when mom says it’s time … IT’S TIME.
[Reply]
sprybuzzard had this to say,
Jan 25, 2012 @ 6:11 am (Quote)
As a first timer I have no idea what to expect for my labor. Frankly I hope I don’t have so much pain that dilated, but to at least know something is happening! (fortunately I’m a paramedic and husband an EMT/firefighter, I’d love to catch my own baby)
[Reply]
Jerry Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 6:16 am (Quote)
When the OB finally did show up to our birth, she was awesome. Because my wife was doing a natural birth and was’t groggy from the medication, the OB delivered my DD’s head and my wife reached down and delivered the rest of her.
She loved it!
[Reply]
Robyn Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 10:51 am (Quote)
Speaking as someone who recently (ok, almost 8 months ago) had her second baby, knowing what happened with my first only helped a little in knowing what to expect with my second. Every woman and every labor is different. With my son, it was 5 hours from start to finish; started with water breaking. With my daughter, I’d been having contractions since I woke up at 6 am and baby wasn’t born until 3:37pm. With my son, the contractions started light and got gradually stronger until birth. With my daughter, they started out at about a medium and then changed mid-contraction to STRONG and baby was born about an hour later.
With my son, I planned on getting an epidural, but labor moved too quickly for me to get anything and the doctor showed up about 10 minutes too late. I was expecting “pain”, because that’s how everyone refers to labor, and I got pain. With my daughter, I knew I could handle it and my entire perception changed. I wouldn’t say that my labor with her was painful. Strong, intense, definitely not easy, but not painful.
The best thing you can do to prepare is to retrain your mind to not think of it as pain. I’ve heard great things about hypnobabies.
[Reply]
sprybuzzard Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 1:10 pm (Quote)
I read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and I really liked the idea of calling a contraction a rush instead and considering it as intensity rather than as pain. I’ll have to look more into hypnobabies.
[Reply]
Pamala Reply:
January 26th, 2012 at 3:34 pm (Quote)
I think that’s why my second labor wasn’t as intense for me. I wasn’t scared out of my mind and I think hyponobirthing is mostly about that, recognizing that what is happening with your body is natural and not intended to hurt you, so you get rid of the fight or flight response. Plus I had a 4 year old to deal with the entire day. I decided that day not to send my oldest to school because I was worried no one would be able to pick her up. But I spent most of the morning with her, just doing our normal stuff at home, then I realized I probably should go to my mom’s house just in case because my exhubby wasn’t home at the time and if I needed to get to the hospital I needed someone to drive me. I headed over there and just sat around. My step-dad still talks about how he was amazed that I was walking around laughing and playing with my oldest and then telling him we were leaving for the hospital. LOL!
[Reply]
Kit had this to say,
Jan 25, 2012 @ 6:32 am (Quote)
With DS I was in prodromal labor for 3 weeks and went to the hospital a grand total of 4 times. It is embarrassing, and a bit depressing, to think it is time and get sent home. Most of the time it was OK, but one nurse was absolutely awful.
I don’t think the OB handled it well, but I agree with the sentiment.
[Reply]
Laura Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 11:02 am (Quote)
This! I would go in and say I knew it might not be real but I wanted to be sure. Mostly they were kind about it. I still felt silly.
Well, without any actual active labor that they detected, I got to 4-nearly-5 cm. And as far as painful labor? Yeah, that hit at transition. So. Good thing I went in when my waters leaked (which I also wasn’t sure it really was and half-expected to be sent home again).
I’m glad I was willing to find out, even if “maybe” I would find I didn’t need to be there.
[Reply]
I walked into the hospital laughing, talking and in general good spirits. The nurses rolled their eyes at me and told me they would check me just to make me happy but that I shouldn’t plan on unpacking or anything. Boy did they start moving quick when they found me to be 8-9 centimeters…
[Reply]
Sarah Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 7:20 am (Quote)
I did the same thing with one of mine, except I was crowning when they checked. Still demanded I not push until they moved me to L&D and get me from the gurney to the bed. Apparently delivering anywhere else in the hospital will cause the entire place to implode. Today I would say screw you, give me two minutes and you can skip L&D and take me and my baby straight to recovery. I wasn’t so ballsy back then, though.
[Reply]
Anon(for clients) Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 11:07 am (Quote)
I had a doula client who was joking with the doctor while the doctor was getting ready to catch, it was one of my favourite doula births.
Sarah, another doula client had a nurse freak out in Assessment when she was found to be 8cm (only like half an hour after she was checked and was 4cm) and rushed her over to L&D. That is nuts that they made you move while crowning though. The reason they gave at our hospital was they don’t have the right equipment in Assessment for a birth to happen there (L&D is just down the hall)
[Reply]
Jennifer had this to say,
Jan 25, 2012 @ 7:28 am (Quote)
When I got to the hospital, I was 7 cm and the contractions weren’t any more painful than the Braxton Hicks I’d been having for months. I only went in as soon as I did because I had a VE at the OB’s office that morning at my 40 week appt and was 5 cm then but not contracting. My OB told me to go to the hospital as soon as I was having regular contractions. if I’d waited until they were painful I probably would have had a baby on the side of the road.
[Reply]
One of my friends felt a bit “off” toward the end of her pregnancy, just not herself. She called her OB who told her to come in for a check. She got there within the hour, was 6cm dilated at the OB’s office and had the baby 2 hours later! She didn’t feel any real pain until it was time to push. Every momma is different!
[Reply]
When I thought I smelled gas outside my home, I called the gas company and they sent a guy out to my house. In the pouring rain. He used his gas meter and told me it was fine, there’s a vent that sometimes lets out extra natural gas and if you happen to be standing in exactly the right place at exactly the right time, you’ll catch a whiff of the stuff.
I apologized profusely, and the guy from the utility company — who had driven to my house in the rain and had gotten wet because I’d panicked — said to me, “Ma’am, we’d always rather you called.”
Last year, a line came down in our yard, and I called the electric company. I said, “I’m not sure if it’s the real thing,” and they said, “Please, act as if it’s the real thing. We would ALWAYS rather you called.” They came out and discovered it was an old, dead line that was no longer in use. I apologized, and again, “Even if it’s nothing, we’d rather you call.” Because it’s better to let the professionals decide if it’s the real thing.
But this doctor is I guess worried about inconveniencing the nurses who’d be on duty in the hospital anyhow? Not getting rained on, not having to drive anywhere…? Maybe the utility companies should take over the maternity business. 
[Reply]
ChristineP2` had this to say,
Jan 25, 2012 @ 7:50 am (Quote)
I fell for the idea that it had to hurt and contractions had to be close together before you were ready to give birth. My water broke at 3am, 2 weeks before my due date. We chose to e-mail work and pack our bags before heading to the hospital. We didn’t really start rushing until my OB called back at 5am asking why we weren’t already at the hospital. She told me I better be heading out the door in the next 5 minutes (my son was breech and had known cardiac issues so she was concerned about him pinching the cord now that my water was broken).
When I made it into the hospital at 6:00, I was laughing and joking with people. The L&D nurse said “We’ll see if you are in labor”. When she checked me to see if my son was still breech, her eyes went very wide. I was at 8cm and heading into transition.
“They” said it would hurt and that I’d have contractions 5 minutes apart, 1 minute long for one hour before I was anywhere near 8cm, so I thought I had plenty of time.
[Reply]
This reminds me of how my mom tells me about my birth.
She was at the hospital and walking around the labor room, and she knew that it was time for me to be born. She told her nurse (who was pretty young) that it was time. The nurse said, “Oh no, you’re not about to give birth! You haven’t been in labor nearly long enough!” (It had been about 5 to 5 and a half hours from when her contractions first started.)
Luckily for my mom, an older nurse overheard and chastised the younger nurse. “When a woman says it’s time, you listen to her!!!”
Sure enough, as soon as my mom was helped back into the bed, I just slid right out.
[Reply]
Robyn Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 10:59 am (Quote)
Yeah, my mom had a similar situation. Her doctor decided to send her home and told her to come back at a certain time. He went home for dinner. She’s telling this nurse that it’s time. The nurse tells her the doctor isn’t in here. My mom tells her “Well, you better get SOMEBODY in here or you’re going to have to catch this baby!” The nurse gets on the intercom “Dr. Lubie STAT”, practically in tears (it was her first birth and she was not prepared to catch). He came in got gloves on and my mom goes “I want something for the pain.” He told her “Too late, darling. Push!” and there I was.
[Reply]
mharry Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 7:00 pm (Quote)
My mom was also too calm and too quick for the nursing staff. She told them she was feeling pretty ready and they rolled their eyes. She finally got them to check her because they were determined to prove her wrong. Low and behold her body was pushing. They told her to “hold” my sister in, because her doc was away and the backup was sick. Another doctor from another county had to be brought in. He came in wearing flannel and had really bad bed-head (my mom always makes sure to tell that part). He rolled up his sleeves, washed his hands, got gloves on and caught. There was no time for gowns and scrubs or anything else. He then profusely apologized to my mom for having not driven faster (he had already been speeding).
[Reply]
lilmrsmchenry Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 7:08 pm (Quote)
That happened to me for a couple of my births. I am a very calm, quiet laborer. For my 3rd they I asked that they check me and I was at 7cm then about 5 minutes later I calmly told the nurse that I was ready to push so she checked me again and Baby was fully engaged. She called the head nurse in a panic, she came rushing in after paging my Dr. My parents who were in the waiting room said that my Dr, came flying down the hall pulling on gloves and booties along the way. He only took about 3 minutes but by that time I had already delivered into the head nurses hands after 3 “practice” pushes, lol.
[Reply]
I liked my doctor and I understood why he told me what he did, he didn’t want me to waste my time. But I knew myself better and it felt like I needed to go in. I walked into L&D and still wasn’t in pain. They were surprised. I got into the bed all undressed and so forth and they said let me know when you feel the need to push. I said I had been feeling that for a while now. The nurse checked me and I was at 8cm. They kicked it into high gear and then transition started. I arrived at the hospital at 4:45 had my daughter at 5:50. The doctor came in and said, “Thank God you didn’t listen to me.”
[Reply]
Pamala Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 2:31 pm (Quote)
Oh and I had no pain up until my water broke. I arrived at 4:45, they checked me at 5:15 and my water broke around 5:30. Two pushes and she was out.
[Reply]
Melinda Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 10:08 pm (Quote)
I love your doctor’s response! I know so many more would have been dismissive, avoided the fact at all, or blamed you and said you were lying when you called the office or something…
I hate how they tell all women that though. I was the same way with my birth. Contractions were 3-4 mins apart, but I could still kinda talk through them and felt fine. Then I kept feeling like I had “to go” and realized I’d read about that before haha Started going through transition just before leaving the house and had DD 42 mins after getting to the hospital! Staying home next time 
[Reply]
ashley Bean Reply:
January 27th, 2012 at 10:38 am (Quote)
“thank god you didn’t listen to me” should be a thoughtful thrusday. lol. I’m glad your doctor was great. It does sound like he was just looking out for you and honestly, I’d think the same thing. Most women are in pain by 8 cm. Mother’s intuition trumps the typical progression though. You knew something was up, so good for you for following your instincts….now just tell me how you got that far without pain. lol. I wish I could do that
[Reply]
Yes, I had my now 4 month old in 3 hours – start to finish. I had VERY manageable contractions that felt like strong BH until about an hour before my baby was born. My midwife arrived (I had a homebirth) an hour and a half before my baby was born and I didn’t feel the need to get into the tub until about 15 mins after her arrival. When I hit transition is when it became intense. Until then, I was closing my eyes and silently swaying to my contractions…. Talking, joking and smiling in between them.
[Reply]
The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Feb 7, 2012 @ 7:53 am (Quote)
LOL Pamala – I love your doctor’s response!
Still, this is better than hearing, “well, you’re only 2 cm – let’s break your water and see what happens, because you shouldn’t leave.”
[Reply]
Add Your Comment.
I’d have had my daughter at home with this advice.
I didn’t start hurting until five minutes before I had to push.
[Reply]
Lisa Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 5:51 am Lisa(Quote)
Yeah, I don’t feel pain until I hit transition. At that point there’d be no way in h*ll you’re getting me in a car!
[Reply]
xanthina Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 9:51 pm xanthina(Quote)
I last month was lulled into a false sense of not needing to hurry by my labor. Contractions not to close, not at ALL painful…
Things became painful once we were already on the way to the hospital(less than 10 minute drive, the way my mom was driving)
I ended up delivering my daughter in the car. In one contraction. After an hour and twenty five minute labor.
It didn’t hurt till 5 minutes before she was born. And even then, I didn’t think I was in transition because I could talk normally between contractions.
Next baby will be a planned homebirth
[Reply]
Corita Reply:
January 27th, 2012 at 10:29 am Corita(Quote)
My first planned homebirth took place without the midwife because when I called her I could talk through contractions and had none of the pain and panic I experienced with my previous two births (a hospital and a birth center transfer). They started out but stopped for coffee, figuring I still had some time…. I walked the entire labor, back and forth across the floor and never felt any major symptoms until I felt that *urge* that takes you to the toilet until you realize what is actually happening. My husband barely made it into the room– I delivered the head standing up by my bed then he walked in and I announced the baby’s impending arrival!
Midwife arrived 15 minutes later.
[Reply]
SculptorAlison Reply:
February 9th, 2012 at 6:43 pm SculptorAlison(Quote)
Me too, lol. I had called the night before because I knew something was imminent and wanted to give her a heads up that I would probably be calling her soon. She told me to call her back when I felt serious about the contractions. I called her less than an hour before he was born and it was only while I was talking to her that I realized how far I was along. I still figured they’d get to me in plenty of time, just not as early as recommended. When my body started pushing of its own accord, I knew my husband was going to have to catch.
It was awesome.
[Reply]