Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
24
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Well, Maybe Next Time We’ll Work On Growing A Smaller Baby.”
“Well maybe next time we’ll work on growing a smaller baby.” – Midwife to mother at postpartum visit. Mother had an unplanned cesarean.
There are 43 comments to this post.
because the nurse is g-d / nature that controls baby size right? how rude. My tiny friend had a 9lb baby naturally with out C-section.
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I’ve been wondering about this as I go through my doula certification- what constitutes ‘big’? I feel as if babies have gotten bigger over the years (maybe due to hormones and chemicals in the foods we eat…?). I was 6 lbs 5 oz when i was born and wasn’t really considered ‘tiny’. but now, it seems like anything under 7 is ‘too small’, but anything over 8 needs a section. what the eff, medical community? let’s fix this notion that babies have to be a certain size in order to be born naturally.
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Jenny Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 3:48 pm (Quote)
I would put it down to better maternal nutrition rather than hormones and chemicals in the food.
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Rachel T Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 5:15 pm (Quote)
I agree with Jenny, we (in general in the US) are seeing a maternal population with fewer incidences of malnutrition and childhood disease. This population also currently has access to adequate nutrition and *ta da* prenatal care! Thus fetuses have adequate to more than adequate resources during gestation.
It’s like people who say that we are larger than humans in antiquity. We are not necessarily a larger species because of genetics, we have more resources and less disease and thus grow more in line with our genetic potential.
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Jenny Islander Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 9:17 pm (Quote)
Also fewer moms smoking and/or getting heavy doses of secondhand smoke.
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amanda Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 2:33 pm (Quote)
actually i just watched The Nature of Things with David Suzuki – talking about how the make-up of our fat cells is changing due to hormone disregulators and that there are signs it affects children in utero as well.
http://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/episode/programmed-to-be-fat.html
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And how’s she going to do that? Take up smoking during her pregnancy?
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Jessica had this to say,
Jan 24, 2012 @ 4:25 pm (Quote)
Oh, goody! I’ve always wanted an excuse to starve myself and smoke like a chimney during pregnancy! *sarcasm
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Kate Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 8:11 am (Quote)
This wasn’t my posting, but it certainly could have been – and I did reply to my midwife as she was talking about a smaller baby (within an hour of my C section after 26 hours of labor and Pre-E) that if it was really that important to have a smaller baby, I’d just pick smoking back up during my next pregnancy.
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Another “magical” vaginal birth of a 9 lb , 12 oz baby here. No c/s needed. I’m expecting another baby now and he’s looking to be as big as his brother. I’m looking forward to another normal vaginal birth for this one as well! Thankfully the same doc that delivered DS will be delivering this baby too.
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reading comments like this makes me feel like more of a failure for having my 12.1 baby C/S after 4 days of labor 
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Tee Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 6:11 pm (Quote)
I don’t think you have a reason to feel bad about that, although I can understand why you might. Fact is, some women just need c-sections for one reason or another. People just get irritated when doctors assume that all big babies need to be surgically born. I’m awfully sorry if my above comment contributed to your bad feelings.
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Kathryn Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 7:48 pm (Quote)
You are not a failure! I don’t know your particular circumstances, but I’m certain you did everything in your power to make your baby’s birth the best and safest experience possible. Way to go!
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Kate Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 8:12 am (Quote)
Sodapop, I tend to agree with you. I consented to a C section after 26 hours of naturally starting but slightly pit-enhanced labor due to pre-eclampsia. Yet everyone assumed it was because the baby was big. I did my damndest to avoid a c section for a large baby.
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Katy Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 11:31 am (Quote)
I understand a little how you feel. I had an unplanned C-section after four days of labor too. But my daughter was smaller than yours. Has nothing to do with size. Also nothing to do with failure. I stopped thinking of myself as a failure and started reminding myself that I’m not a failure I’m a mother.
You too!
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Renai Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 11:55 am (Quote)
I can’t tell you how to feel, but I will say that my first baby was a section, and was only 6 lbs. 10 oz. So, small babies get sectioned too. It doesn’t make us failures. My second was bigger, and a vbac. You were quite the trooper to labor for four days!
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Melissa C Reply:
January 29th, 2012 at 1:53 pm (Quote)
My friend’s baby born by c-section (after a long, active, unmedicated labor and pushing stage) was less than 8lbs. Sometimes it is just this baby, in this position, on this day, is not coming out vaginally. I think the point of the comments is that size is not the one determining factor–AND that medpros should stop all this “you grew a baby too big/your body is inadequate/etc” mother-blaming nonsense.
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Dear unborn baby,
I’m sorry, I know you are only a few months along and you haven’t even been able to taste food yet, much less see the light of day, but you need to go on a diet.
Sincerely,
Stupid Comment Midwife
There, that should do it.
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Julie had this to say,
Jan 24, 2012 @ 6:01 pm (Quote)
My midwife essentially told me the same thing and she’s right. My 9lbs 1oz boy got stuck (shoulder dystocia). My narrower than usual pubic bone was a partial culprit… Hence aiming for a smaller baby through diet and exercise (so better metabolize my sugars).
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Jane Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 6:05 pm (Quote)
And diet/exercise will make the baby’s shoulders skinnier? Does the midwife have studies backing this?
I’m not being sarcastic, but I’m confused how this would work.
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VW Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 8:31 pm (Quote)
Similar story here…shoulder dystocia with 9lbs 3oz daughter (first pregnancy). It was unclear whether it was related to my anatomy, her size, and/or the particular circumstances of her birth (epidural, forceps). Decided to eat as if I had gestational diabetes with pregnancy #2, because that was a factor I could (sort of) control. My son was 8lbs 1oz and came out like butter 
Jane, generally the relationship between shoulder dystocia and weight is not straightforward, but if you have any kind of metabolic issues (even though you may not test positive for GD), those babies tend to have larger torsos and wider shoulders. So I guess the idea is that you don’t try to grow a smaller baby in absolute terms, but you try to give them the most optimal metabolic environment you can provide to minimize that effect.
Good luck, Julie 
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My first thought questioned the assumption the section was for a large baby, since it was unplanned. It could have been for fetal distress or numerous other things. Even if it was for a large baby, how in the world does mommy prevent big babies without starving herself? Pregnancy anorexics have lower birth weight babies, but starving yourself while pregnant is a great way to end up with a special needs baby, a baby with cleft palate, a second-trimester miscarriage, or the feared dead baby. You’re far more likely to have a serious post-natal problem with low birth weight than high birth weight babies. Honestly, in my non-medical opinion it’s much better to need a c-section for a larger than average baby than to need a NICU for a tiny one.
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Julie had this to say,
Jan 24, 2012 @ 6:23 pm (Quote)
He was quite the little fatty, lol, so better metabolizing of my sugars could possibly help in not having as big of a baby. It can only help and certainly wouldn’t hinder. Sometimes aiming for a “smaller” baby is not as stupid as it sounds.
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Erin Adams had this to say,
Jan 24, 2012 @ 7:55 pm (Quote)
I had planned on having a home birth but that went out the window at 36 weeks when they determined that I risked out due to PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension). I had to see a doctor and he suggested that I be induced after an evaluation determined that my amniotic fluid was low. I was determined to make that the only thing unnatural about my labor but they pumped me so full of Pitocin that after 6 or 7 hours I was screaming bloody murder because of the pain. I remember crying and apologizing profusely for giving in to an epidural but I felt like I was being murdered. After the epidural was in place I crashed and had to get a shot of epinephrine. I remember everyone kind of freaking out for a minute and the anesthesiologist said, “I have to give you a shot in the leg, you’re going to feel a stabbing…oh wait, no you won’t feel anything.” I thought that was pretty funny, even at the time.
Anyway, after all that mess I was fully dilated and ready to push, which I did with every contraction for about 4 hours. My son never really moved down so eventually my doctor tried the vacuum extractor and after that failed he said I would have to have a cesarean. I was crushed. I was angry. At the time I didn’t understand how God would want me to want a home birth so bad and let me end up with the exact opposite of that. The cesarean was performed perfectly and I’m so glad I had one of the best obstetricians EVER, but it isn’t what I wanted and I still grieve for the birth that I wanted. Everyone kept telling me, “At least you have a healthy baby!” and while I realize they were just trying to say something positive about my experience, it made me angry. I realize that having a healthy baby is the most important thing, but it wasn’t the ONLY important thing.
Later on I learned that my son didn’t move down because I have a very tiny pelvic opening. Basically, my doctor said (to the doula attending my birth) that he would be surprised if I were ever able to have a vaginal birth. So I guess in a way, everything that happened happened in the best way possible because I probably would have ended up with a cesarean anyway. I’m able to see it that way now after six months, I’m not angry anymore, but I still grieve for that perfect home birth.
In regards to this post, one of the midwives seemed to have thought that because I am a bigger woman that I grew my baby too large because I was stuffing my face all day and that’s why he wouldn’t fit. He was 9 lbs 8 oz. and was perfectly healthy. I did not have gestational diabetes or any other complication besides the PIH. My blood pressure is currently normal and was normal before pregnancy. But apparently because I’m not a size 8 I must be unhealthy, even though I’ve never had any health problems. Ever. Apparently, in the eyes of this woman, my cesarean was all my fault because I don’t look like her. Apparently, there’s some magical way to “grow a baby” exactly the size it needs to be to come through my pelvis. Needless to say, if I do choose to have another baby, I won’t be going to this midwifery, but after I let them know how I felt about this instance and a few other not-so-well-thought-out things that were said, I doubt they would have me back anyway. 
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VW Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 8:41 pm (Quote)
I’m so sorry you went through all that. Healthy babies deserve physically and emotionally healthy mothers -and a traumatic birth can make you feel like you’re neither.
I had similar questions about my pelvis after my daughter’s shoulders got stuck on the way out, but realized there was no good way to figure out whether my pelvis was adequate to give birth vaginally. I did find the Pink Kit (of childbirth preparation) incredibly helpful because they actually show you how to map your (relative) pelvic dimensions and work with your particular pelvic shape to maximize your chances of a vaginal birth. It’s not one size fits all (no pun intended).
Of course not being immobilized by an epidural so you can move makes a huge difference as well. With my daughter, I wanted to push on my side (even though I couldn’t feel anything) but the doctor wouldn’t let me. Funnily enough, with my son (and without an epidural), I assumed that very position spontaneously and had no problems whatsoever (which makes sense b/c I have a very long and curved tailbone that would seriously reduce the size of my pelvic opening in the semi-sitting position they put me in for my daughter’s birth).
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Lisa Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 9:01 pm (Quote)
I was told I was too small to ever give birth. I’ve had 2 babies vaginally since then, one of them facing my hip, which means his head came out the widest way possible. I know so many women who were told they could never give birth to a baby over x size who gave birth to babies much bigger than that size. Don’t believe it. You have no idea what size baby you can birth, especially if you have a non induced labour where you can move freely.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 9:37 pm (Quote)
I’m another one of those who was told my pelvis was too small after a primary c-section, and went on to VBAC an even bigger baby — I don’t know how your pelvic dimensions were determined initially, but know there’s always they chance “they” are wrong and you never know till you try! I’m happy you were eventually able to release the anger surrounding your birth and hope and pray you’re able to release the grief, as well!
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My midwife said the exact same thing to me! I had two c-sections, one for an 8lb baby and the other was 9lbs 2oz. I was talking to her about my upcoming VBA2C, and she said, “Well, it would be easier if the baby was smaller. Let’s try to go into labor earlier this time and have a smaller baby.” (I went past 41 weeks with both.) And I just kind of stared at her, and asked, “How would I go about that? I don’t control that.” She didn’t really have an answer. But she did suggest I take up smoking, or perhaps crack-cocaine. (She was joking about the drugs, but not about “trying” for a smaller/earlier baby.)
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Add Your Comment.
“We’ll” work on it? Really? And what control does the midwife have over the size of the baby in another woman’s body?
And for the love of all things pure and holy, I really HATE the implication that bigger babies are only able to be delivered by c-sections. My nieces are living proof that this isn’t true!
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adrienne Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 4:54 pm adrienne(Quote)
something similar was said to me by my midwife after the birth of my 4th child, but that was after a complicated but successful home birth. I had #5 this past summer and yes, my midwife worked with me to do what we could to have a smaller baby and sure enough after the first 4 came one bigger than the one before, this one came out over a pound smaller than her previous sister.
the quote itself wasn’t terrible, it’s the context. I could’ve easily has a c/s, and the result blamed on the baby’s size, had I been under the care of someone less competent.
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