Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
23
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Goddammit, I Hate When This Happens.”
“Goddammit, I hate it when this happens.” – OB during a shoulder dystocia.
There are 27 comments to this post.
I wonder if the doctor actually contributed to his by having Mom in the stranded beetle and/or pulling on the baby’s head instead of letting it rotate after delivery so, you know, the rest of the baby’s body could rotate naturally to help facilitate the shoulders…
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And it’s all about you, isn’t it, doctor?
(Free tip: if you’re seeing a lot of shoulder dystocias, and you’re working in a first world country where your patients are unlikely to have had rickets in childhood, it may well *be* about you and your bad birth practices. Let the mother deliver in a biomechanically advantageous position, don’t push epidurals so hard, don’t practice AROM without a good reason, and don’t have the nurses start screaming at her to PUUUSSSHHHH!!! before she starts feeling the expulsion reflex, and don’t yank on the baby’s head, and this will happen less often.)
(Happen less often to *you*, of course. Because your annoyance is the only thing that matters, and it’s all about you.)
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BG Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 4:00 pm (Quote)
Couldn’t it be, “goddamnit, I hate when this happens because it’s quite dangerous for the baby and it requires a specific, complicated maneuver?” I mean, I can’t see how this is about the doctor, he’s just expressing that this is an unfortunate situation. And of course, it’s unlikely to be something he sees a “lot” of or he wouldn’t care so much.
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Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! If a doctor curses in front of me, no matter what the situation is, that is a deal breaker! And that lovely little word this doctor used? Just no. A combination of taking the Lord’s name in vain and cursing… I don’t even know how I would respond. In a perfect world, I’d like to say that he would step back and not lay a finger on me or interact with me ever again. But if it’s in the middle of a troublesome delivery, odds are there is no way around that. Oh boy, would there be some serious conversations with hospital personnel in the future, though.
OP, I am so sorry. You should never have had to deal with that kind of unprofessional and downright rude language! I hope your baby is okay.
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BG Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 4:03 pm (Quote)
Are you serious? You would not see a doctor who swore using an EXTREMELY mild swear word, not referring to anyone with it? Best of luck to you with that. ANY doctor will turn to swearing when the shit hits the fan because they are human beings. I’m glad you don’t have stress at your job, but I swear when I realize we ran out of a crucial ingredient at the restaurant, and that doesn’t even involve human lives.
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Tee Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 4:40 pm (Quote)
Nope, not kidding at all. Thankfully, I have wonderful doctors that don’t feel the need to curse no matter how stressful the situation, including the time I was coding. And I don’t have a job. I live at home with my parents and I’m terminal.
I don’t mind that you disagree with me but I sure could do without your nasty tone and sarcasm.
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I’d actually be able to let this one go. The doctor’s in a stress situation and swearing is a way to vent the stress so the doctor can think clearly enough to get the baby out in the next five minutes.
The doctor may well have contributed to the dystocia, but once it happens, the ONLY concern is to get that baby out NOW. If the doctor has to swear in order to do it, I’ll cut him/her some slack. (and s/he only swore — s/he didn’t swear at the mom or the baby, “Damn you, woman, your damned baby got stuck!”, which would be absolutely unacceptable.)
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Details Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 5:02 am (Quote)
I have to agree with Jane. It it mean the doctor cares and is going into Ninja mode he can swear and grunt all he wants. Many women are very noisy when the are in labor and some of them swear! I remember hearing stories of a polyanna cousin of mine who said words her mother didn’t even know she knew during labor.
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Kate Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 6:00 am (Quote)
I’m with the two of you – if he’s swearing from the stress, and didn’t do anything to cause it, I’m willing to overlook a lapse in professionalism.
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YaraC Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 6:02 am (Quote)
I have to agree, in a high stress situation like this I can totally understand the cursing. Whatever the cause of the problem. Honestly, I can’t imagine I would even notice or remember what the doc said in a situation like that.
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Jespren Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 12:10 pm (Quote)
Yeah, I hate cursing, but as someone who has had a severe shoulder dystocia birth I could see forgiving this, especially when it would allow mom to say “what? When what happens??” And someone (doc or nurse) to respond “shoulder dystocia” because for mine everyone was being silent and I didn’t even know anything was wrong until they rushed the baby away (midwife apologised for that, someone should have been talking to me). BUT different women have different tolerance levels, and professionals, even if some ppl will forgive them, should maintain professionalism even in the face of stress.
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erica Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 1:41 pm (Quote)
I agree with your comment, but I do have to say that I am eternally grateful to my midwife for the calm way she handled my shoulder dystocia. I could tell from her tone that something was going on and that I needed to do exactly what she said, but at the same time, she was so calm that I never felt afraid. I’m really grateful for that because I have no emotional trauma from that birth, even though I know on an intellectual level that it could have ended very badly for my daughter. Like you said, the most important thing is getting the baby out, but if the provider can keep their cool, that’s a pretty good thing, too. (Afterward, I could tell she was a little shaken, but by then, we all knew it had ended well.)
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silverhawkwarrior had this to say,
Jan 24, 2012 @ 4:12 am (Quote)
This could be saved if something along these lines followed:
“I hate when this happens, but I’ve seen it before and we made it through okay then. So here’s what we’re going to do . . .”
See, this way, the implication is “This is an annoyance, which is a great alternative to a crisis,” as opposed to “This is an annoyance, which is a sucky alternative to me taking a nap in the on-call room.”
I don’t swear, but I reserve the right to turn the air blue during labor. Swearing has a painkilling effect in non-habitual-swearers. 
Sure beats that &%^$#$%ing needle.
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I agree the swearing doesn’t bother me, but I will say that my last delivery included severe shoulder dystocia, and the only thing that kept me from utter panic was how calm and collected my midwife responded to the situation. I can’t imagine how I would have been feeling if she hadn’t kept her cool.
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I do realize that shoulder dystocia can be life-threatening, but I really dislike the protocol that doctors follow, especially in my area. The whole room goes into freak-out panic mode, tons of nurses who aren’t really doing anything start flooding the room. My sister is a doula and she almost decided to quit after two badly handled dystocias in the hospital. No one was telling the mom anything, and she was surrounded by nurses hyperextending her legs back and another ramming down on her stomach over and over. That last nurse happens to go to our church, and my sister can’t even look at her because she triggers flashbacks. In both instances of dystocia, the baby came out fine and didn’t need any resuscitation or ‘help.’ But that didn’t stop them from removing the baby from the mother with no contact to examine for a long period of time. It was so hard on both mothers, and it was also very hard on my sister. She just did her best to try to help the mom stay calm both times, and let her know what was going on. Both moms were very grateful to have a doula there for support.
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erica Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 1:44 pm (Quote)
Wow, that sounds awful. I had one with my last birth (as I said in my response to Jane), and the midwife explained what was happening (without using the words shoulder dystocia) and told me to pull my own legs back and push like so. I could tell from her voice that I needed to do exactly what she said and this was very serious, but I never felt afraid. I am really grateful that she kept her calm because I have no emotional trauma from it.
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During my most recent birth, there was a case of shoulder dystocia… and my midwife did say, “Oh sh*t! Oh sh*t! push! It’s okay, little baby!” (talking to the baby, not me) It was a frightening moment and I dont think she even realized what she was saying.
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This was my post. Unfortunately, the OB went into full panic mode, and let several other profanities fly while attempting to resolve the shoulder dystocia. Baby was born and did need resuscitation and spent several days in the neonatal intensive care unit, but is doing well now. To his credit, the OB did go back into the room after things had calmed down and sat down with the parents to go over everything that had happened and to answer their questions. He apologized for swearing. Now, that said, I agree with many of the comments about the importance of remaining calm in an emergency. The tone that the OB or midwife sets when he/she encounters a bad situation can effect everyone in the room and greatly influence perceptions. Someone who freaks out and starts swearing is not helping the situation. I have been a L&D nurse for a very long time, and have seen many OBs and midwives remain calm and competent during this same scenario. Remaining calm is important for the mom who can then focus on the instructions that her provider urgently needs her to follow. Most good providers can communicate the true urgency of the situation without swearing.
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Add Your Comment.
Swearing in any professional setting is always totally inappropriate, but especially in this particular situation. I am a transcriptionist and spend half the day listening to doctors mutter curse words under their breath. Have a little self-control and a little respect for people who don’t want to hear it, hey? Ugh.
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BG Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 3:56 pm BG(Quote)
“Goddamnit” is a very mild curse for a very dangerous, complicated situation. This shows that the doctor understands that this is bad, needs to be fixed, and will require his skill and cares enough to be stressed about it. This isn’t the 1950s and it’s not like he swore AT the mother or anything.
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Arzt4Empfaenger Reply:
January 28th, 2012 at 5:28 am Arzt4Empfaenger(Quote)
Agreeing with this
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SculptorAlison Reply:
February 11th, 2012 at 12:17 pm SculptorAlison(Quote)
Some people, myself included, find this to be one of the most offensive curses you can say. I wouldn’t have blinked if he had said m-fer or oh sh*t in this situation. As for the person below who said that since it’s only religious people it shouldn’t matter, that’s incredibly insensitive. Perhaps you don’t need to consider it swearing, but as a public figure you do need to consider whether or not it could greatly offend the person you’re trying to help.
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Anji Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 12:13 pm Anji(Quote)
“Goddammit” isn’t swearing where I come from. Only very religious people find it offensive. If “pyjamas” was a ‘curse word’ in my religion, would that make it swearing for anyone to say it?
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Serene Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 6:57 am Serene(Quote)
Dammit this doc is such a Pyjama-hole for using that sort of language!
But I agree… I think in this situation, its perhaps unprofessional, but excusable.
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