Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
16
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“You Need To Keep Her Out Of The Candy Jar.”
“You need to keep her out of the candy jar.” – OB to husband of a 34 week pregnant woman. The OB felt the woman had too high a weigh gain for her pregnancy.
There are 28 comments to this post.
Couldn’t possibly be a growth spurt. This doctor hasn’t even proven there is a problem in my mind. This could all be perfectly normal and healthy. Then add everything Jane said and my but doesn’t doctor look stupid throwing a fit over normal healthy development.
Dear Doctor, that thing you read about 3 lbs. a month. That is supposed to be an average over time and across patitents. If you actually look at the pattern, women gain less while busy throwing up and spike a growth spurt around 32-36 weeks. Thanks.
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Darsy Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 5:36 am (Quote)
The average thing really bears out, let me tell you! I am 28 weeks now, haven’t been eating as well as I should, and am still down 5 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight! I was like this for the first pregnancy as well–something about my body just tends not to gain very much. It bothers me when people tell me how ‘well’ I’m doing (granted, I’m a bit heavy, but not all heavy women lose weight during pregnancy), because it’s not related to anything I’m really doing, it’s just a quirk of my particular body that I’m not gaining! Just like how frustrating it must be to be a parent of a child who is high strung and might cry more often, and strangers judge them on that if they see the child cry in public 
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Jane Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 5:50 am (Quote)
But even if the woman had gained 150 pounds during this pregnancy, the doctor should address nutritional concerns to the woman rather than to her husband, and the doctor should give the woman the respect of assuming she has some self-control rather than assuming she needs to be leashed by her husband.
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Details Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 7:21 am (Quote)
Yep, if the mother had gain 150 lbs. the doctor should be talking to her directly with respect and dignity. Absolutely true!
Now who wants to bet this particular mother sent this in because had Hypermesis(sp?) and had lost weight her first 3-5 months and now suddenly was gaining a perfectly normal amount of weight and this is what she got from some dumbass. Because we have seen that before.
I noted the post used the words “the doctor felt” (which I take to mean the mother didn’t agree) and specified 34 weeks which I know is growth spurt time.
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Jane Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 7:25 am (Quote)
Maybe they were at the doctor not for a regular prenatal appointment but because she had crawled into an actual candy jar and gotten her head stuck in it…? Maybe it’s one of those compulsions of late pregnancy, that .00000004% of women experience the compulsion to crawl into candy jars, and that’s why the doctor said the husband had to keep her out of it? The doctor had just spent twenty minutes with a bar of soap trying to get her out, and then WHAMMO, she tried to crawl right back in again.
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I’m 5’2″ and gain nearly 50 lbs with every pregnancy. It doesn’t make a difference at what weight I start, how healthily I eat, how much (or little) I work out – I gain the same. 6 pregnancies, ranging from ages 21 to 31. Some women just gain more.
This doc really needs to learn to individualize his care.
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I also gain a LOT of weight during my pregnancies (I’m already up 40 lbs now at 20 weeks). As usual, my doc says “make good food choices.” Since my BP is consistently 120-80 and no other problems have presented, it’s all good and not one person in the office has said a word about my weight gain.
Each patient is different, doc.
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Lizzie K Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 9:54 am (Quote)
I don’t gain a lot during pregnancy. With my first, it took me so long for any significant weight gain that I worried something was wrong. However, that’s just my body, I have a hard time gaining weight at all. (I have been called a b**** a few times because of my metabolism lol) However, some women get pregnant and gain a lot. Every woman is different. There is even a big difference between my sister and myself. What is a healthy weight for me makes her look anorexic and she definitely gained more weight than I did with her pregnancies, but both of us had beautiful, healthy babies. (even if I’m biased and think my boys are just a bit smarter and better-looking lol)
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Kate, Ren's mama Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 11:43 am (Quote)
My midwife told me the normal, healthy range for pregnancy weight gain is 5-70 pounds. It’s a huge range! Which is why we don’t talk about the number on the scale so much as patterns in weight gain, nutrition, what I’m eating and how I’m feeling. Then again, our prenatals typically last 90 minutes instead of the usual 6 minutes you get with an OB, so we actually have *time* to talk about my exercise and eating habits.
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Michelle Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 12:29 pm (Quote)
This is like my mom. She’s been very thin her entire life; her nickname in school was “Twiggy.” I was like a 9 pound baby, and my mom only gained 10 pounds her whole pregnancy. (She looked so *cute* in the photos — all thin and tiny with a giant belly!)
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Lizzie K Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 8:44 pm (Quote)
One of my friend’s daughter just had her first baby. She was nothing but belly, as well. She had the baby six weeks premature, though, because her doctor pressured her into getting induced and the getting a c-section because the induction didn’t “take”. They kept telling her to go ahead and have him because he had no more room to grow. Finally she gave in.
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Michelle had this to say,
Jan 16, 2012 @ 11:35 am (Quote)
I gained 30 or 40 pounds during my first pregnancy. My doctor threw a fit over this, and completely did not take into consideration that I was underweight before I got pregnant. With each of my pregnancies, I weighed slightly more to start, and gained less, until I actually lost weight having my youngest.
Today I weigh the same (not pregnant) as I did when I was 9 months pregnant with my first, and I’m healthier than I was before having kids. I actually eat three small meals every day now, instead of just one!
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SculptorAlison Reply:
January 29th, 2012 at 8:19 am (Quote)
I thought the recommended weight gain was 25-35 lbs. You may not even have gained 35 and he threw a fit? What an idiot. Particularly if you were underweight to begin with…
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Laura--The Sushi Snob had this to say,
Jan 16, 2012 @ 12:23 pm (Quote)
My mom gained at least 40 pounds with all of her pregnancies, but she always ate healthy foods and stayed reasonably active. She gained a lot of weight because she produced a lot of amniotic fluid (and I do mean a lot). Every woman is different.
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Mom of One had this to say,
Jan 16, 2012 @ 1:03 pm (Quote)
I gained 28lbs total during my pregnancy and didn’t gain any weight in the first five months. At my six month appointment I had gained 5lbs (which I was happy about since I hadn’t yet gained any!) and the doctor gave me a lecture about gaining too much weight!
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I had the opposite problem. I had hyperemesis, and at 37 weeks, the furthest I got, I was lighter than I was pre-pregnancy.
The doctors had little to say because I had primarily midwife care. But family and friends whith no idea what they were talking about honestly thought it was good and helpful to tell me ‘don’t worry, you had weight to lose’ while I was in the worst of hyperemesis, and ‘you’ve done so well keeping the weight off’ when I was in the third trimester. Women put on weight when they’re pregnant, it’s NORMAL.
These same people make snide comments regarding the fact I have put on a lot of weight since my pregnancy, almost completely due to the fact that hyperemesis destroyed my metabolism and I’ve no idea how to get it back.
It’s so twisted.
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C.Pratt Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 8:10 pm (Quote)
I don’t know if this is helpful since my metabolic issues could be totally different than yours, and certainly don’t have the same history, but I found dulse Iodine supports my thyroid function. Also, sea salt seems to support my system all around.
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Maybe they were at the doctor not for a regular prenatal appointment but because she had crawled into an actual candy jar and gotten her head stuck in it…? Maybe it’s one of those compulsions of late pregnancy, that .00000004% of women experience the compulsion to crawl into candy jars, and that’s why the doctor said the husband had to keep her out of it? The doctor had just spent twenty minutes with a bar of soap trying to get her out, and then WHAMMO, she tried to crawl right back in again.
LOL! No, I did not get my head stuck in a candy jar! & I take very good care of myself in general, especially while pregnant and breastfeeding =] I rarely eat ‘junk’. I had only gained about 30 lbs. when my OB made this statement. I probably don’t have to tell you that he’s an arrogant jerk, and that this wasn’t the only stupid thing he said to me during my pregnancy AND birth.
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Jane Reply:
January 29th, 2012 at 9:24 am (Quote)
So let’s see — even if you went on to gain a pound a week for the rest of the pregnancy, you’d only have gained about 35-40 pounds TOTAL. That’s worth a candy jar comment? *sigh*
Did the doctor EVER discuss nutrition with you? Other than this insightful recommendation not to gorge senseless on candy? 
Because I’m guessing no.
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Oooh…so many things wrong here.
1) The assumption that the husband should have absolute control over his wife
2) The assumption that the woman has gained weight because she’s eating candy or other junk food
3) The assumption that because the doctor wants something, the husband “needs” to do it
3A) The assumption that the husband is the doctor’s ally against the wife
4) The implication that the husband is to blame for his wife gaining more weight than the doctor approves
This kind of power-splitting is something I’ve seen in situations where someone wants to exert authority he doesn’t really have. He co-opts someone else’s power in order to coerce compliance from a third party. In this case the doctor is assuming the husband has the power in the relationship and is attempting to co-opt the husband’s power in order to control the wife.
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Angela Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 6:43 am Angela(Quote)
And 5) His OPINION that she is gaining too much weight. If everyone is healthy then she is doing just fine.
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xanthina Reply:
January 17th, 2012 at 4:22 pm xanthina(Quote)
6) The implied opinion that the husband has an issue with the wife’s weight.
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