Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
14
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“We Aren’t Talking About A Baby Here, Just A Sac.”
“We aren’t talking about a baby here, just a sac.” – OB to mother presenting for a possible miscarriage, after the OB objected to the mother referring to her six week pregnancy as a baby.
There are 35 comments to this post.
IF Survivor had this to say,
Jan 14, 2012 @ 7:40 pm (Quote)
This is horrible and not evidence based. It’s normal to only be able to see the sac at a 6wk ultrasound. I had 4 episodes of “threatened miscarriage” in the first trimester with my first. We got an ultrasound right at 6wks and all that it showed was an intrauterine fetal sac. We were blessed to have providers who told us that was a possibility and normalized it despite my symptoms of threatened miscarriage. We went on to have a beautiful baby girl who was even able to be born at home.
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Sometimes I wonder if OBs think there is literally nothing there until some magic point (8 weeks? 12 weeks?) and suddenly there’s a billion+ cell organism. In order for a pregnancy to occur, sperm has to have met egg. Even if it stopped developing in the zygote stage, that’s still the loss of a zygote, not “nothing.”
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Tara Reply:
January 14th, 2012 at 8:42 pm (Quote)
Exactly. It seems rather obvious. But then, that’s probably just because I’m a lowly, naive person who hasn’t been to medical school, just had three babies who were babies as soon as they were conceived. 
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Julie had this to say,
Jan 15, 2012 @ 1:50 am (Quote)
I just went for an ultrasound at 5 1/2 weeks and that was exactly what I told people after… Not even a fetus yet, just a sac wih a yolk.
But come on, in this circumstance!?!? Don’t try to correct the mother!!! To her and in that moment, it’s a baby she’s scared to lose.
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Rachel T Reply:
January 17th, 2012 at 10:46 am (Quote)
Too right.
How about we let each woman refer to her baby/fetus/pregnancy/sea monkey in the terms she wants to use? I referred to my pregnancy as a fetus or by a nickname until I felt it moving. It was my choice based on my emotional reality. I think my doc was a bit confused by it but didn’t correct me.
In this case, if a women having a miscarriage is upset, let her be upset, let her use the words she chooses and have some compassion!
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Our BFP in 2010 resulted in “just a sac” and when we had our dating ultrasound at 7 weeks that exactly what they told us. “No baby just a sac.” and then again at our repeat ultrasound at 9 weeks, I had refused to cause a M/C at 7 weeks just in case they were wrong.
With this BFP at our dating ultrasound at 7 weeks they once again told us “It’s just a sac, again, are you going to prolong the inevitable?” Well at our next ultrasound turns out they were wrong and we are now 34+4 weeks.
OP I’m sorry your OB was such a jerk. Hope you got the outcome you were hoping for.
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Tee Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 12:01 pm (Quote)
Wow, I’m so glad that you listened to your own instincts!
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Christie Reply:
January 26th, 2012 at 10:31 pm (Quote)
wow thats awful! my sonographer is wonderful! i went in for a dating scan at 6 weeks and he pointed out the yolk sac then zoomed in just a little more and said and there if you can see that tiny flicker is a heartbeat and fetal pole, so while he could not record a date and i had to go back for a second scan to confirm (my cycle is too irregular to even try to date from) he reognised my baby as a living being where many would not have. im so sorry anyone has to hear such ignorance i wish more professionals would put themselves in their clients shoes and see how they would feel
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V had this to say,
Jan 15, 2012 @ 4:46 am (Quote)
At 6 weeks it’s common to see a heartbeat….even if you don’t, it doesn’t mean there isn’t anything there! I hope this dr wasn’t right about losing the baby though. 
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Kathy Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 8:37 am (Quote)
According to multiple u/s techs and my OB, at 6 weeks the baby looks like a grain of rice on u/s. This last pregnancy, the US tech couldn’t even find it because they are so small…so from what I understand it is more likely you will *not* see anything at 6 weeks than you will.
At *8* weeks, if you see a strong heartbeat you’re 97% likely to have a viable pregnancy. At 12 weeks that goes up to 98%.
I just don’t want women reading this and thinking they’ll probably see a heartbeat at 6 weeks, and freaking out if they don’t. 
)
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You’d think this doctor would also understand cause and effect. You don’t get to “baby” without going through “fetus,” and in order to get to “fetus” you need to get through “sac.” Honestly. Lose the early condition and you lose the later one.
Even my seven year old son understands that if you smash the egg in a robin’s nest, you’ve killed a baby robin, not just broken an egg.
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Well, this sac is sitting upstairs on her daddy’s lap. She is a very big sac!
Just a correction, it was not an OB but the emergency room doc. The ultrasound showed the “sac” and 2 other accumulations of liquid (never did find out what that meant)
After the Doc told me it was not a baby but a sac, I told him to get out or he would be losing his sac and that that was no way to talk to a patient. I then proceeded to insult him a little bit, maybe insinuating he was too close to his mother. Didn’t mean to get too viscious, but after having waited more than 5 hours for the ultrasound results, and about 7 hours the previous day to be told it was a SAC I was pissed!
The doctor left the room, and before I could compose myself enough to face the drive home, a nurse came in shyly and gave me an enveloppe to give to my OB when my next appointment (also first) came around. She told me the doctor did not want me to open the letter. I did anyways, right in front of her.
That was the re-assuring part, because it stated everything the doctor had told me, but also that it was not a lost cause and would be possible to save the pregnancy if hormone levels rose. (In medical jargon obviously)
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Jane Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 10:21 am (Quote)
Wow. I hope that doctor learned from this not to be so heartless to future patients. I’m glad your story has a happy ending.
(The thing about the letter is funny. My midwife ordered a wet-read for me once. THe nurse said, ‘That means you’ll get sealed envelope with the results and ahve to bring them upstairs so we can read them to you.” I said, “I’ll probably read it in the elevator,” and the nurse said, “NO! You wouldn’t!” When I went for the ultrasound, the ultrasound tech didn’t even put the paper in an envelope. She handed it to me and said, “Bring this to your midwife.” LOL.)
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Veronica Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 3:16 pm (Quote)
Really. Who would not read it??
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abba12 Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 9:52 pm (Quote)
You’d be suprised how many people don’t read it! Granted, there are some people with nasty OBs and such that would give you an earful if they found the envelope open, but usually it’s given to me in an unsealed envolope, so obviously I read it, it’s my record!
I’m so annoyed at the moment because my husband went in for a study and they said they would send him and the doctor the results. Well they sent him a bunch of fliers that have no use until we know if and what is wrong by talking to the doctor. Why not tell us directly? Because we aren’t capable of reading a medical report ourselves?
I know so many people who’s eyes blur over at sight of medical jargon, which makes me so thankful that I know how to understand and work through such jargon myself. It helps so much when I can rock up to my doctor with evidence based on actual, ‘jargony’ medical reports and studies, though others think I’m crazy because they honestly believe we aren’t supposed to look at that sort of thing.
It astounded the nurses that I was able to explain vulvodynia and the effects it was having as relevent to my birth in proper medical terms like ‘stimuli’, lol.
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actually – i’m with the docs on this one. i’m 28wks and i still think of it as a ball of cells. as life-in-potentia. it moves around, has a heartbeat & my ob calls it a baby, but to me it’s just an organism. when it’s born, it’s a baby. until then, it’s a collection of organs, tissues & fluids that happens to move alot. for those curious – i’ve had the 3d ultrasounds to see the face etc – still can’t think of it as a living ‘baby’ until it’s out.
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Jane Reply:
January 17th, 2012 at 5:16 am (Quote)
But now imagine that some doctor got into your face saying “Well you shouldn’t feel that way! You HAVE to bond with it now! You HAVE to think of it as a baby!” Just as wrong. The mother is entitled to her feelings and the doctor should respect those feelings.
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boots Reply:
January 18th, 2012 at 2:14 am (Quote)
but that’s exactly what i’m told every single day. i just don’t tell people how i feel anymore, because the pressure to feel ‘happy’ and ‘engaged’ with it is overwhelming. there is pressure from every side, be it the disassociated ones like myself and the doc above, or the overly connected ones. there seems to be no way to be right – someone will always be hurt & it bothers me that generally we’re so oversensitised that we can’t even express what we feel without retribution.
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Its been said many, many, many times before. As soon as there is a positive pregnancy test, it is a baby to at least one person – the mother – and anyone else she decides to tell.
The lack of sensitivity makes me so sad. My babies were all BABIES as soon as the test showed a double line. Even if it was medically ‘just a sac’ that doesn’t mean the mom didn’t bond with the idea or thought of what was supposed to be there.
When I read this site I am so saddened by the lack of compassion and caring expressed by providers when there is a loss.
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Jane Reply:
January 14th, 2012 at 7:02 pm Jane(Quote)
I suspect some of these providers need to do that to protect their own emotions, because if they think of themselves as being unable to prevent the loss of a baby, they’ll be sad, but no one’s sad about losing a sac.
Well, except for the people who care about the developing embryo inside the sac. And no, I am not saying I believe the above thing about not being sad — of course the parents need to grieve a loss without dehumanizing their own child.
OP: I’m sorry you were treated so callously.
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abba12 Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 3:40 am abba12(Quote)
I KNEW I was pregnant about 6 months back. I have a sensitive body and I myself am very sensitive to any hormonal change within it (which means, generally, if there is a possible psychological side effect to a drug, I almost always will suffer from it. But that’s a whole other story) So when I ‘felt’ pregnant I knew that I knew I was pregnant.
I suffered hyperemesis with my first and began to feel sick this time too. Ginger helps me with all nausea except morning sickness, and as I suspected ginger did nothing for this sickness. I also found my breasts, which still leaked a drop or two of milk from time to time after having my first baby, began leaking a little with massage. And there was a few other things that, if I had had any doubts about my feelings, told me I was right. (my mum says she knew she was pregnant with my brother the day after conception, a little bit of a tall story perhaps, but I know she knew before the test could show a positive)
The BABY struggled early, I’m guessing it was one of those cases of the chemestry or DNA or whatever it is just not matching up after fertilization. My hormone levels never rose enough to test positive on a pregnancy test. I believe, from symptoms and ‘feelings’, that I lost the baby around 16 days after conception, and began bleeding a few days after that.
That was a baby to me, but it will never be recognised by the medical profession. I don’t even know whether to tell them or not when I conceive again and they ask my history. With no positive test is it medically relevent?
Indeed, I believe Jane is right, except she missed one point. Not only do doctors need to dehumanize it in case it’s lost, but I don’t see how a doctor who believes it is a baby can ever advise or perform an abortion. They need it to be a fetus, a sac, to ignore the babies who are aborted, who they encourage to be aborted, who they may even have aborted themselves. If you or anyone else belives that aborting a baby is ok, then that’s another matter, and your opinion. But many doctors do not believe aborting a baby is ok, they believe aborting a fetus is, and that’s where the difference lies.
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Jane Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 6:30 am Jane(Quote)
I’m sorry for your loss.
I lost a pregnancy on the same day I “should” have gotten my period. It was physically more painful than any period I’d ever had in my life, but we also had no medical insurance at the time so I didn’t seek medical care. It’s very lonely to lose a baby at that stage.
My doctors didn’t want to hear when I talked about that miscarriage. I think whether you tell a medical practitioner or not is up to you. Again, I’m sorry.
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Kasondra Reply:
January 15th, 2012 at 7:19 pm Kasondra(Quote)
The exact same thing happened to me. I was a few days late…extra bleeding, extra painful. I knew.
Most people, however, just said it was a bad period and to move on…
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Christie Reply:
January 26th, 2012 at 10:19 pm Christie(Quote)
this happened to me too, i just knew i was pregnant, my breasts were sore i felt nauseous unless i was eating and smells made me gag, i had a faint positive the day i expected my period (although i have an irregular cycle so its hard to say) the next day i had spotting 2 days later was bleeding went to the hospital, public holiday so no doctors, nurse did a urine test which came back negative so she told me it was just my period, never have i had so much cramping or heavy clotting during a period and i had pretty awful periods as a teen. that BABY would have been due on valentines day, i was blessed enough to fall pregnant the very next month and am due in 8 weeks, it doesnt make it any less painful though, maybe medically it was not even a sac at that point but to me it was and will always be a baby whom i loved the second of conception whether i knew it or not
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