Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
13
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“You Need To Get It Together!”
“You need to get it together!” – OB to mother, while repeatedly insisting that mother lay on her back to push her baby out, and mother was declining as it increased the pain.
There are 20 comments to this post.
When I was in labour with my son, laying on my back made the contractions hurt WAY worse!
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Veronica Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 11:08 am (Quote)
Yeah, My first delivery (on back at hospital) I tore, hurt liek a bitch.
Second, semi-squat lunge type thing position at home, no tear and healed so much better. Contractions way less bad too.
Your bodie’s way of telling you to get off your back!
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Jena Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 8:07 pm (Quote)
Me too! Wish I’d though to refuse vaginal exams–those were the worst. I delivered on my feet though, and with very little pushing (maybe 45 minutes?). I tore, too, but I think because the came so quickly. Next time I’ll try to be in less of a hurry to meet my baby.
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PetraStrider had this to say,
Jan 13, 2012 @ 11:40 am (Quote)
If labouring in any other position was considered an INTERVENTION I guarantee that OBGYNs would be pushing squatting bars, birthing stools, balls, tubs, etc.
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Jane Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 11:44 am (Quote)
**GASP!!!** That’s it! We need to start encouraging hospitals to bill at higher rates for vertical deliveries and to bill separately for squat bars, birthing stools, labor tubs…
Then after that’s accepted, any birth with the mother on her back should be billed as one unit with episiotomy and suturing included rather than the suturing as a separate billing line item.
Side-lying births get billed at the vertical rate.
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Jennifer Hankey had this to say,
Jan 13, 2012 @ 3:50 pm (Quote)
This is mine! I was very very ill with my first delivery and nearly died so I decided on a hospital birth since I have the greatest hands off doctor ever. He does back-up for midwives here. I was having an unmedicated natural delivery by choice. Anyway, I delivered so fast that my doctor didn’t get there in time. I was stuck with the on call Dr who was an unbelievable Bully. The baby was basically crowning and I was pushing very comfortably and safely on my side. H comes in and literally starts forcing me onto my back. I kept screaming “stop it!” as being on my back was so painful. I was fighting them putting me onto my back and that’s when he said “you need to get it together!” I yelled back “Don’t tell me to get it together!” (yes I have this all on tape! haha!) He then continued to tell me to push when I didn’t need to push and has literally just finished a contraction. He literally tried to get me to push without a break for NO reason ( she was born after only 10 minutes of pushing) and I would say I didn’t need to push and he would say “your baby needs you to push!” Whaaaaaaa??? Who does this guy think he is? I fought with him during the whole birth which has been really hard for him to ruin my birth for no other reason than his convenience. After she was born instead of giving her to me he flopped her onto the table and I had to ask for her and a nurse handed her to me. I then told him not to cut the cord and he was annoyed. A few seconds later he asked if I wanted to cut the cord and I asked if it has started pulsing and he said ” I don’t know…it doesn’t look like it”…I told him no and he stomped out and said “just call me when you are ready” He was there all of 10 minutes and managed to ruin such a wonderful moment. SUCH A JERK! I wrote a letter the his boss at the hospital about it but it was already his last week. Sadly some other hospital is going to be stuck with a woman hating a@@
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Kasondra Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 4:53 pm (Quote)
What a jerk! Ugh. I’m sorry! I hate the “your baby needs you to push” thing…your baby wasn’t in any danger.
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Blue Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 5:25 pm (Quote)
I’m sorry you had to deal with such a bully. But you should be incredibly proud of yourself. It can be extremely hard to stand up to a doctor, particularly in a hospital setting. And in late labor/while birthing, many women find it next to impossible to articulate their thoughts and needs. You did a fantastic job of advocating for yourself and your baby!
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My births were one for the record.
My first daughter. I was 19 years old with an axiety disorder. Me and My Doctor came to the understanding, she doesn’t touch me and we get along great:-) Not even an exam throughout the pregnancy. I was terrified of doctors at the time. So when it was time for me to have the baby she was on vacation! So the “on call” doctor came in and broke my water and then left after he tried forcing me to get an epidural. The nurse was the one to check me throughout and also the one there when I was pushing. I didn’t have any contractions until they broke my water. When I got the first contraction I screamed, the nurse told me to shut up! Then when it was time to push she tried getting me to push her way. I told her to go to hell. So she insisted that I would be there all night if I didn’t listen to her. So I looked at her and said calmly well at least I will have company now won’t I. Well after only 48 minutes of pushing my daughter was born. Glad I didn’t listen to her.
With my second daughter my doctor wasn’t on vacation and had to induce me at 35 weeks. (No fetal breathing, no movement) So she calmly told me to go home, pack my bag and meet her at the hospital with my husband that evening. I got there and got checked in. My doctor came in and asked the nurse if I was diliated at all. The nurse looked back at her and said “I don’t know, you said not to touch her”. Haha. So my doctor broke my water and held my hand, breathing with me during each contraction. (only 3 though). We it was time to push she told me to hold her in! and closed my legs. The doctors for the baby weren’t there and we knew my daughter was really small. My doc started yelling at the nurse because she didn’t page them when she was supposed to.Once the other doctors got there, She told me to push. It was the only push I needed. She was born.
With my son, his was tricky. He was bigger then the ultrasound let on. He was too big for me. My doctor didn’t know until I was crowning:-( My doctor closed the door and the vents looked at me and said “if you need to scream then scream. ” I was already anyways. She just wanted me to know she approved. My doctor doesn’t believe in using forceps or suctioning on the baby. She also doesn’t believe in breaking your birth plan unless she absolutely has to. I am also not a person you could give an epidural to. So we continued to push. She saw his head and knew he was too big. She reached her hand up during a push and grabbed my son to try and help him out. Well I stopped pushing so she had her hand around my son and was stuck. I told her I needed a c-section. My husband looked at me and told me she was stuck. Well that was the push the got my son out. Afterwards my doctor apologized to me and told me what an amazing woman I am and how strong I am. My son was 6lbs 11oz an average baby. I don’t think it was her fault. My other kids were 5lbs and 4lbs 7oz. I don’t think she should have known he was too big. It was just something that happened. I have an amazing doctor and would recommend her to anyone. She always listened to me and never dismissed anything. She stood by my side during labor. She held my hand and hugged me afterwards. She is an outstanding human being. I will also add that I didn’t get cut, rip, or tear and never needed stitches.
For me the nurses were the problem and the on call doctor was a piece of work.
I love my doctor!!!!:-)
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C.Pratt Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 5:12 pm (Quote)
This is a great example of why it is important to have the provider you built a relationship at your actual birth, the “big event” as it were.
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jaed Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 7:15 pm (Quote)
We it was time to push she told me to hold her in! and closed my legs.
Oh hell no. I’m sorry, your doctor sounds like a gem, but this is a horrendously dangerous thing to do to a crowning baby. It can cause terrible damage. Not having a pediatrician in the room doesn’t seem like a reason to take such risks with a baby.
Maybe you could say something to her? She sounds good otherwise.
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Lisa Kuhl Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 7:35 pm (Quote)
I did have a talk with her afterwards. Although in all honesty if I needed to push I could have. She didn’t hold my legs closed or anything like that. During a stressful situation I enjoy a bit of humor and my doc knows that. (Yes I have a strange sense of humor.) My doc knew enough to know when to run the right scans. If it wasn’t for her insisting I get an ultrasound that day there is a very good chance my daughter wouldn’t have made it. My body started rejecting her when I was 24 weeks along. I had weekly check ups after that. My doc held her in for 11 weeks and delivered her safely. I thank god everyday for that. My daughter will be 4 years old next month and is a happy, healthy, perfect little girl. Also my labor with her was 8 minutes long from start to finish.
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alismomma515 had this to say,
Jan 13, 2012 @ 8:21 pm (Quote)
Ugh! This sounds like the a$$hole anestesiologist (sp?) I had during my “emergency” c section with my daughter. I came in after 12 hrs of super painful pitocin contractions with the last 3 being all back labor, 4 attempts at getting the catheter in; during which I was screaming and crying telling the nurse to stop it wasn’t going in right, and in mid contraction. The guy acted all disgusted and asked why I was on a gurney (no way I was walking after the catheter attempts…) and tried to start my spinal immediately. I was crying and said I needed a minute; when he said “you need to RELAX!” as if yelling at me would help… well I told him he would need to wait as I was still contracting, and was in a lot of pain. He acted like I was being a baby but backed off. The nice OR nurse hugged me and told me it would be ok and helped me calm down and he got it placed just fine.
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And you need to stop bullying the mother and actually LISTEN to what she is telling you!
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