Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
10
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“And How Are Your Breasts…”
“And how are your breasts? Have they started to hurt yet?” – OB to mother while palpating her breasts at the same time as a transvaginal ultrasound was being done.
There are 63 comments to this post.
Is there more to this story? That seems like a valid question to ask while checking the breasts.
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Toni Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 10:10 am (Quote)
Why can’t the breasts be examine AFTER the transvag u/s is over??!!! Then again, I’ve never had a doctor or mw examine my breasts during a prenatal. Why would that even be necessary (unless mom is reporting a problem)?
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Darsy Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 10:15 am (Quote)
I only can see this happening if they’re doing the equivalent of a yearly exam at the same time, during which some doctors do a breast exam to search for lumps… but not *during a transvaginal ultrasound*! This reads as hugely skeevy to me, and I hope the OP had the spoons to tell the doctor to do one thing at a time if she felt uncomfortable 
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C.Pratt Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 10:22 am (Quote)
Jen, not trying to be mean here, but maybe you should take a moment to imagine the scenario. There is something in her vagina moving around and shaped like a wand, and hands on her breasts at the same time. I can see the question, but it would be hard not to imagine THIS as sexual.
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this is mine. and it was a vaginal EXAM. This was my first pregnancy, and i have a history of sexual abuse. I’d been having some pretty heavy bleeding, so they wanted to do a VE. Neither of the female docs were in that day, so i got stuck with this dude. He was in the middle of the VE, and i was quietly shaking and trying not to throw up, telling myself this was for the baby. Then, in the middle of doing the VE, he reaches up and starts massaging my breast, “Have they started to hurt yet? They always hurt in pregnancy.” I started crying, threw up on myself, and him a little. After all this, he came back in and started cracking sex jokes, about how next time i should have my husband “examine” me, how it would do me some good to lighten up, and “you might even have fun!”
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Tracy Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 10:17 am (Quote)
PLEASE say you did something about this… took action of some kind? This makes me physically ill.
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The Deranged Housewife Reply:
January 11th, 2012 at 11:14 am (Quote)
Ditto. They are two separate procedures, not to be done at the same time. At least, not that I’ve ever experienced. This is just way too creepy.
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Jen Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 10:18 am (Quote)
That is absolutely horrendous. I am sorry you had to suffer thought that! That seems like sexual abuse to me. You should definitely be filing a complaint against him if you haven’t already.
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Kat Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 10:21 am (Quote)
I didn’t say anything, or file a complaint. My second pregancy i went to another doc, though. It’s been almost 2 years, i’m sure theres nothing that can be done now. Except tell all my pregnant freidns not to go there.
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Tara Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 10:31 am (Quote)
I don’t think it would hurt to file a complaint at this point. At least it would be in the record if someone else filed in the future. I once filed a complaint against a chiropractor who grabbed my butt. Nothing was done, but I felt better knowing I had filed it, and if he does something to someone else, at least my complaint would corroborate the fact that he’s a slimy sleazeball.
I am so sorry for what you went through, Kat. I don’t even have a history of abuse, but the experience with the chiropractor left me shaky and extremely upset. Your experience was much worse. I can’t imagine how you must have felt. I am so glad that when you threw up, it got on him. He deserves SO much worse.
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jaed Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 10:52 am (Quote)
You can still file a complaint. I am not certain whether you can take legal action – it depends on your local laws – but you can contact his practice (if he’s not a solo practitioner), any hospitals he has privileges at, his licensing authority, and any professional organizations he is a member of. Mention “sexually inappropriate remarks” and “unwanted touching” and that will get their attention. (The comments afterward would merit a reprimand even if they hadn’t been accompanied by the physical assault.)
The single complaint is probably not enough to get his privileges and/or license pulled, not without a criminal conviction. But if other women have reported similar experiences, or do in the future, your filing would provide part of a case to do that and make sure he is prevented from seeing patients in the future. It also puts a number of people on notice to keep an eye on him.
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Selia Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 11:07 am (Quote)
This is 100% against medical ethics! Even if no “action” is taken as a result of the formal complaint, it will go on record and if other instances are reported then it could be very important that it is there! It depends on the state, but usually these things are reported to the state licensing board or health dept. You should be able to find it fairly easily by google search. So sorry you went through this!
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Kat Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 1:01 pm (Quote)
If it’s only been 2 years, the statute of limitations has most likely NOT run out. Please at least consider trying to report this. They may already have a file on this creep. The doctor who attended the birth of my first was under investigation, and they had cases on him going back as far as ten years. So please, if you feel up to it, report this so he’s not still preying on other women who go to him for “care.”
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Melissa Reply:
January 12th, 2012 at 5:23 pm (Quote)
I am so sorry for your experience. What happened to you was sexual assault, and it was not okay. You could probably still press criminal charges if you wanted to, and you absolutely could file a complaint with the state board, but it is completely understandable and okay if you don’t want to.
Be kind and gentle to yourself, and do whatever it takes to help yourself heal. This man is not a healer, he is a predator, and I’m sorry you fell victim to him. Sharing on here, however, is evidence of your strength, and I admire that. 
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Knitted in the Womb Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 11:03 am (Quote)
Do any of your remember the movie “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle?” If you do, you probably remember that the set up to the movie is that a woman goes to a new GYN for her annual exam, and feels sexually assaulted by it, so she goes to the police. When the case goes public multiple women come out of the woodwork with similar reports, the GYN is disgraced and is facing criminal charges, so commits suicide…while his wife is pregnant. A stand-up guy there, huh?
And of course then the movie gets freaky with the widow plotting revenge…but back to that GYN…
Yeah…they aren’t just in movies. I’d bet anything that if this doctor was so inappropriate with Kat, there are other women out there who have been treated similarly.
Kat, I’m so glad that you threw up on him! Please, please, feel my support and hugs to you. I strongly encourage you to do what you feel that you can do to bring this behavior to light…whether it be posting on review sites on-line, or writing a letter of complaint to the office, or your state medical board. It may be empowering to you to know that you are helping to protect other women. I can completely understand though if you can’t do these things because of the possibility of being re-traumatized. Do what is right for YOU.
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Nicole Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 12:20 pm (Quote)
Hey, mods, can we all agree it’s okay for this OP to make this doctor’s name public?
I feel physically ill. I can’t believe this happened to you, Kat. I’m so sorry.
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Rachel Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 12:54 pm (Quote)
Can I ask if it was in your file or if the OB in question was made aware of your past history? There have been a disgusting amount of posts like this recently and I have a feeling that these particular ob’s/ care providers know going in that their patient can be taken advantage of to a point because (and this is nothing against you op) they’re less likely to speak up about it.
Not that you don’t have the courage to do it but I think that it seems so often that women in these situations are so shocked and seriously traumatized by the circumstances that they rarely speak up. I’m sure this can happen with anyone in that scenario but particularly for someone with a history of assault, I would imagine it’s easy to second guess yourself and think you’re overreacting because of your past or to be so bothered by it that you’d rather not report it because you don’t want to talk about it/ relive it again.
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Corita Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 1:46 pm (Quote)
I am sorry this happened to you. He was wrong and deserves to be held accountable. You have every right to speak up, or not. Please take care.
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Heather Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 2:29 pm (Quote)
Oh, mother%#@%$&, he did NOT. I am so, SO sorry! What a… I am just absolutely enraged for you.
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abba12 Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 2:49 pm (Quote)
That bastard, what he did was bad enough but to come back in and joke about it?? What a prick. The chance of that breast exam being in any way medically nececary is about 0%, that was sexual assult.
Why does it always seem to be those of us who have been sexual abuse victims before who go through this with GYNs? I know it’s not completely but it feels like it.
I’m very fortunate, my husband works from home so I never consent to anything that involves removing clothes without him present (my OR trip excluded for obvious reasons) But most women aren’t fortunate enough to have a husband who is available to attend most the prenatals and such.
You shouldn’t feel like complaining is pointless, simply state that it’s taken you this long to come to terms with what happened or something. Maybe it would even add some weight to the argument lol
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reallyerica Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 3:07 pm (Quote)
You have to report this. Get a copy of your medical records, if necessary, to get his name. This guy may be doing the same, or worse, to other women right this very moment. It is always freaky to be the one to speak up, but Kat, you have to do it–for all of us. P.S. Thank you in advance!
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JessicaKC Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 5:41 pm (Quote)
I’m very sorry. Wow. No words. I hope you decide to at least write a letter to the other OBs in his practice. Maybe they have had other complaints and this would send it over the line and they would have to do something. Who knows. Or maybe they will think you are crazy. But who cares? You deserve better. Hugs to you.
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Telula Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 8:00 pm (Quote)
What an A$$HOLE!!!!! I feel so sorry for you to have gone through that horrifying experience!!!!! Was there a nurse present? In my province it’s mandatory for a nurse or other female staff to be present for both vaginal and breast exams.
And this is sexual harrassment! There are no other words for it. Go to the police and report him and have him stopped! There are other women (including young teenagers) that are at risk being in the same room as this man. He has to be stopped!
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Telula Reply:
January 13th, 2012 at 8:12 pm (Quote)
The last time I had a breast exam was this summer. I had found a lump, and had a check up with my oncologist schedualed a few weeks after I found it, so I decided to wait for my appointment with him because he could get things moving a lot faster than my GP. My CT scan was read within an hour of me having it. And I was schedualed for a mammogram the following week.
Anyways, when my oncologist did the breast exam my husband, another doctor he was training, and a nurse were all in the examination room at the time.
I had never had that many people see my breasts all at the same time before, and it did feel really awkward but I knew I was in a safe environment.
Fortunately, it was only a swollen gland.
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2 years does not seem like a long time. You should definately contact the hospital he is affiliated with and talk to a patient rep to see what the statute of limitations is. His license needs to be pulled for being so reckless and careless.
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Oh, and the jokes afterward were a classic abuser behavior – he was attempting to shift blame and make you feel responsible for what had just happened and to minimize his actions. This screams abuser. I would be suprised to find that he hasn’t done this over and over, or worse things.
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Kassie Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 1:24 pm (Quote)
I’d be stunned if this was a one time incident. I helped prosecute a doc once who had carried on this way for years, and progressed to genital penetration. It wasn’t until he started acting panicky about one of his office staff’s pregnancy and trying to insinuate she must have problems that required a D&C and pestered her daily (in front of other victims in the office) to let him give her a VE (and we presume force miscarriage of a pregnancy he thought he’d caused) that it all started coming to light. So many women had laid on his table trying to surpress what they knew he was doing to them.
The criminal prosecution was long, painful and unsatisfactory–evidentiary standards on rape are tough. However, the state licensing board ethical violations were much easier to prove and the creep lost his license to practice. It was an horrific mass violation of trust. There’s no telling how many more victims never came forward.
My heart goes out to the OP. If you do decide to report him, the most likely way to get results without a lot of public exposure for yourself would be to go directly to your state board of physicians.
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Jennifer had this to say,
Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:46 am (Quote)
This is horrible. Please do consider filing a complaint. This would have made me extremely uncomfortable even with no history of abuse. Even if a breast exam was warranted at that appointment, there is NO reason to do it at the same time as the vaginal exam. That’s just skeevy. Was there a nurse in the room?
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SculptorAlison Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 1:14 pm (Quote)
Not to mention the fact that he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on both exams at the same time, even if “examining” was actually what he was doing. This is so horrifying the more I think about it. Please file a complaint.
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first time mommy had this to say,
Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:48 am (Quote)
horrible I’m so sorry this happened to you. Sounds like a creeper getting his jollies off
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Just go ahead and print this page and stuff it in an envelope and send it to the office manager with a note that says Dr. (real name) did this to me in (whatever month) of 2009-10. You don’t even have to sign it. Just send it.
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Skip the complaint and file a police report. Just because someone is a doctor doesn’t mean they have free reign over your body. Between his actions and his jokes, his intent was CLEARLY sexual and not clinical. I’m so sorry, OP. I wish we never had to encounter these scumbags.
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Knitted in the Womb Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 11:08 am (Quote)
I agree…and likely since it was less than 2 years ago the statuate of limitations has not been exceeded. However, because it will be a “he said, she said” (unless a nurse was present who might be willing to be honest enough about what happened), it will likely be difficult to make a case.
If she files a report I’d suggest following the filing of the report with a calls or e-mails to the news editors of local media outlets letting them know that a report has been filed, and there are possibly other victims. Maybe even mention the “Hand That Rocks the Cradle” movie to give them an interesting hook to encourage them to do a story.
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there was a nurse in the room, but she didn’t say anything. He was alone when he came back into the room. I may print off this page and send it in. At least then the other doctors will know what he’s like.
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Tee Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 1:09 pm (Quote)
I’m so sorry, Kat. I know what it’s like to be violated by a doctor and there was a nurse in the room for me, too. I understand why everyone is encouraging you to report it and if you think you can, you should. But if you don’t think you can, please don’t allow yourself to feel bad about that either. Some people simply can’t relive the abuse and reporting it takes a toll. More so than a lot of people realize.
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Kate, Ren's mama Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 3:24 pm (Quote)
Exactly.
Kat – While it would be great to report this incident, you need to take care of your own emotional needs, too. We’ll support you no matter what you do! I’m so sorry this happened to you (and to you, Tee). Wishing you peace and healing…
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Details Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 1:37 pm (Quote)
I’m so glad to hear you are willing to at least make the other doctor’s aware. If you are not up for identifying yourself, we all understand. But the other doctor’s deserve a heads up. Be well.
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Jennifer Hankey had this to say,
Jan 10, 2012 @ 1:40 pm (Quote)
This is sexual assault. I am also a victim of sexual abuse and had a MD find out where I worked when I was coming around from anesthesia when I was 19. He showed up to my work (waiting tables) and asked for my section and commented about seeing me naked and asked me out. I was young and scared and didn’t do anything. After a year I told my mom and we called the doctor who did the surgery (he was the anesthesiologist) and they did take action. You HAVE to do something to protect other women. He is obviously a predator and other women do NOT need to be assaulted.
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Jennifer Hankey had this to say,
Jan 10, 2012 @ 1:41 pm (Quote)
And I felt MUCH better about taking action as it was eating me alive for a year…brought back so many other issues with my abuse. Do it for yourself too
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Tee Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 2:03 pm (Quote)
I’m really glad that reporting the doctor made you feel better. It can be very healing to do so. But it bothers me that you said she “had to” do so in order to protect other women. Please don’t put that on this woman. She is also the victim of assault and all women handle it differently.
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Jennifer Hankey Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 4:44 pm (Quote)
If women don’t report these assaults then other women get victimized…not at the fault of the woman but the doctor…but it is true. If she is not emotionally up for it then she is not. She needs to take care of herself in the best way for her. But it may be something she has not considered
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Tee Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 5:11 pm (Quote)
I agree with you that oftentimes the only way to stop these people is to have enough people report them. I guess I just cringed at the words “have to.” Nobody, absolutely nobody, should feel like they are obligated to do so if it will only cause them more harm.
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Seriously, what is up with all these rapist doctor posts lately? Am I the only one getting too upset to keep reading this stuff?
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Tee Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 2:02 pm (Quote)
No, you’re not the only one. As much as I hate to say it, I might have to step back for a few days. This is bringing up way too many bad memories for me.
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Tee Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 2:55 pm (Quote)
I feel the need to add something to my comment. I feel like it’s really important for women to be able to write about these kinds of experiences here. It can be healing to share your story and you can also encourage other women to come forward with their stories. It can just be hard to read so many at once for me, that’s all.
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abba12 Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 5:22 pm (Quote)
I’m with you ladies, it’s very frightening for someone like me to read all of these, knowing I still have to go and see these doctors when I next get pregnant. These would convince me to homebirth if I hadn’t already risked out.
It has made me feel far less silly about my absolute insistance that I never remove any clothing without my husband present. Not that it nececarily changes much, I was abused by a doctor with my poor husband in the room on our honeymoon, because back then he trusted doctors and knew I could overreact, and had no idea what to do. Granted, when I explained to him what actually happened because it went too fast for him to process, he stormed back in to the doctors office, and then encouraged me to write to the health board people. But, I know he would never let it happen again now. He knows much better lol.
Maybe I should submit that story, except that I don’t want to add to the stream of abuse stories which can be very hard to read. I wonder if it’s worth the mods considering having a trigger label or something, you have to clock a button to reveal these stories or something like that.
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Tee Reply:
January 10th, 2012 at 5:55 pm (Quote)
Truth be told, that’s the main reason I haven’t submitted my story here. Part of me says to go for it. People feel less alone if they know someone else has been through that kind of thing as well. But the other part of me, a tiny part, hates the thought that I might trigger someone else’s panic. It’s a personal decision, to be sure. It seems like lately, there have been a good number of abuse stories on this site. That makes me wonder if the people submitting them have made other women comfortable in coming forward with their own story. (Coming forward on this site, I mean.) And if that’s true, I think it is a very good thing.
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!!!!
I mean…
!!!!!!
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