Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
6
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“I Have A 22 Pound Turkey To Cook For Thanksgiving. What About You?”
“I have a 22 pound turkey to cook for Thanksgiving. What about you?” – OB to surgical team during unplanned cesarean.
There are 27 comments to this post.
Erica Douglas had this to say,
Jan 6, 2012 @ 10:13 am (Quote)
I don’t know, the biggest help to me when I’m in pain or scared (like right before surgery!) is to have someone talking about normal things, telling stories of their life or whatever. I was frustrated during labor because I kept asking the nurses questions to get them talking and they were all, “Yeah, whatever.” Even my doula. She wanted me to listen to her meditation music instead of talking to me.
Anyway, I hope I’m never having an unnecessarean, but I would have really appreciated some chatter during labor. Something to distract me in between contractions. I plan to include that on my next birth plan – please talk to me! I love listening to the dentist chatting with the dental hygienist during cleanings.
Once I was in the zone of hard-core labor, I didn’t notice anyone anyway but at the beginning, when I *needed* chatter I felt ignored.
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sarah Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 10:26 am (Quote)
yeah, when I had my section with my first (or even when I’m getting blood drawn!) I needed to NOT think about what was going on. I specifically told them “DO NOT tell me when you start” or I knew I’d FREAK out even more. In my instance, I appreciated the anestesiologist “small talking” me until my son was delivered.
This is where I don’t envy medical personnel sometimes, because where I found it comforting, others find it upsetting.
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jaed Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 2:33 pm (Quote)
Small-talking to *you* is one thing. Ignoring you (except as a body laid out before them for cutting open) while making small talk with the other aristocr– er, medical personnel is something else again entirely.
That wouldn’t reassure me – at best it would make me angry. I’m right in front of you, I’m a surgical patient undergoing a major procedure, my baby is also at risk in this, pay attention to what you’re doing, please. Talking reassuringly to a patient is part of the job. Talking over her head about what you’re doing is also part of the job. Shooting the breeze with your co-workers while ignoring the patient is… disturbing.
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SculptorAlison Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 11:40 am (Quote)
This exactly. The doctor could just try to strike up a conversation with every patient and it would be fairly obvious very quickly whether or not the patient was interested in talking. Ignoring the patient’s presence is just horrible.
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Yes, they actually recommend making small talk if you are able to safely do so to help take everyone’s minds off the scariness. However, it obviously was upsetting and not calming to this mama so they needed to become aware of that and stop.
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While it could be a ‘this mom doesn’t like small talk in the OR although other moms do’ issue… It also could have been a tone of voice issue. If this was *on* or quite near Thanksgiving it could have been more of a ‘how dare you pull me away from my important holiday preparations just to do my job and deliver your child’ accusation.
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This is mine. I don’t remember any of this at all, so I guess really this is my husband’s submission. The OB was not talking to me or to my husband. She and the nurses were talking among themselves. Had we been included in the conversation it would have been very different.
As it was my husband was very upset that we were basically ignored during our daughter’s birth. We were both very scared and it would have been nice if someone had bothered to make small talk with us-or talk to us at all for that matter.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 4:54 pm (Quote)
I am so sorry this happened to you. I understand how scary that is. I was so shaky and high on adrenaline during mine that all I wanted was SOMEONE or SOMETHING to take my mind off how horrible and sick I felt and no one would talk to me (except to tell me to stop shaking my arms out of the straps.)
I don’t think your reaction to their behavior was at all out of line. It might be a job to them but they need to be mindful that their job is a central part of their patients’ entire lives.
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I don’t mind the small talk. Most people don’t like being talked around or over and ignored though. Which I think was what was going on here. I don’t think the OB was talking to the mom. I think SHE was talking to the surgical staff. (That is what is says.) I also happen to think if this had been a male surgeon talking about something the mom didn’t care about she would have ignored it. But because the mom on the table wanted to have a vaginal birth, go home in 24 hours and cook her own turkey she was extra irritated that she was being left out, both with them not including her in the conversation and with her probably going to be stuck in the hospital for Thanksgiving. I could be wrong. I just think if the topic had been different or if the anesthesiogolist had been talking to her about something pleasant there wouldn’t have been so much of a problem.
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OMG, Shut up people are allowed to talk, Are you okay is your baby okay? They get over yourself
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himom Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 1:05 pm (Quote)
Troll – can’t even spell or use the English language properly. Get yourself back in 3rd grade and learn to express yourself properly, then maybe you can have something constructive to contribute to the conversation.
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Kit Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 3:43 pm (Quote)
The thing is, she is not ok. She had major abdominal surgery for an insufficient reason. She will have scars, emotional pain, and possibly physical pain for the rest of her life. How is that ok? And to be ignored and talked over while you are going through a frightening situation is not ok either.
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Aron Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 5:23 am (Quote)
She was told “your baby is dying and you need surgery right now!” That is terrifying. It is not OK. She did not have any reason to believe she or her baby were OK. Receiving that information, being strapped to a table, having a drape pulled up so high that all you can see is blue and then being ignored by people who treat you like a piece of deaf/mute meat and chat over you like a lunch table is NOT OK.
This is the moment of a child’s birth. A once in a lifetime event for the three most important people in the room. Anything less than respect and consideration for those three is unprofessional and has no place in a birthing environment.
I’m sorry you are incapable of recognizing that and hope you never have to learn the hard way why this is so important.
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Mom of One had this to say,
Jan 6, 2012 @ 3:24 pm (Quote)
Wow, for a second I thought this was mine. The two OB’s in my unplanned c-section never said one word to me (neither did anyone else) and discussed their upcoming vacation plans over me during the surgery. I wish OB’s would realize that while c-section surgery is routine for them, it is a life-changing event for mom and dad.
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My OB was completely silent during my C-section. He didn’t speak to me or anyone else aside from requesting instruments. The nurses didn’t speak to me either. It was awful. I didn’t even know when my OB entered the OR or started until my husband came in and told me, I wasn’t told my daughter was born or what gender she was until the anesthesiologist piped up. And no this wasn’t a crash emergent C-section. If it wasn’t for the spectacular anesthesiologist who realized that I needed a play-by-play/chatter and was getting panicky I would have completely lost it. After my husband left with my dd it was only Dr.Lee (still remember his name 19 years later) that kept me calm. My OB didn’t speak to me once from the moment he told me I’d need a C-section in my L&D room until the NEXT DAY. He sewed me up and walked out of the OR without so much as looking over the curtain at my face, didn’t check on me in recovery or PP either. I felt like a hunk of meat, not a person. I was just another uterus on a table to this guy. I wonder if someone had asked who he was operating on if he could have even told them.
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Michelle Potter had this to say,
Jan 7, 2012 @ 2:11 pm (Quote)
I find it rude and irritating when the check out clerks at the grocery store talk to each other right past me like I’m not even there. It makes me feel like an interruption to their conversation instead of a valued customer.
How much worse when the people talking past you have your life and your child’s life in their hands.
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Dude, quit chatting about your turkey and pay attention to *my* little turkey. Have some respect, it’s still someone’s birth.
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