Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jan
2
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…We Don’t Call It A Pregnancy Until Then.”
“You shouldn’t tell anyone until you are 12 weeks. We don’t call it a pregnancy until then.” – OB to mother when the OB confirmed the mother’s positive home pregnancy test.
There are 36 comments to this post.
Although it does sound odd, I feel the doc had the best intentions, though at 13weeks I felt my fetus move and swim, so what do you call that?
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Okay then…
I personally told everyone in my family pretty soon-by seven weeks. When I had a miscarriage I needed their support. With my second I told even sooner because I was scared to death. I needed their support then too.
This OB was not only ridiculous for saying it wasn’t a pregnancy, because really, what else is it? But also just plain insensitive. It is up to the parents when to tell, FFS!
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Tee Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 3:43 pm (Quote)
I suck at internet shorthand. What does FFS mean?
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Cara Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 3:47 pm (Quote)
I agree. It’s up the parents to tell when they are comfortable telling.
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Blue Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 3:49 pm (Quote)
Exactly. It’s up to mom and dad when to share. And, regardless of whether or not the pregnancy is made public in the first trimester, it’s STILL a pregnancy.
A doctor said something similar to me at seven weeks, when it was discovered that my “miscarriage” was in fact alive and well. I told her, “Too late, I already texted my entire family.” 
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Mama Wrench Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:48 pm (Quote)
My thoughts exactly; if I miscarried or had a problem with the pregnancy I’d want to be able to talk to my family and friends about what’s going on. In fact I’d need to.
Not to mention that being in the military, I have to inform my chain of command as soon as I know I’m pregnant — I’m not about to tell my Chief something that I’d keep from my parents!
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Julie Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 6:13 am (Quote)
I’m just curious. In the military, are you expected to know that you are pregnant are soon as it is possible to know, i.e. when a home pregnancy test could give you a positive result? Or can you decide that you don’t want to know until you are 8 or even 12 weeks pregnant? I would not want to let my supervisor in the civilian world know that I was pregnant until I established that it was a viable pregnancy. But maybe it is different in the military.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 9:14 am (Quote)
You’re expected to find out as soon as possible; the main reason being they don’t want pregnant women on board a nuclear carrier or being exposed to hazardous conditions/chemicals that are inherent to many military occupations, and there are certain restrictions against what pregnant servicewomen are allowed/obligated to do (e.g., exempt from PT testing, allowed to do modified PT, must be permitted to sit during watches, etc).
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J_holmes88 Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 6:01 pm (Quote)
Everyone that came into contact with me knew that I was pregnant from the first time the home test came back positive.(been trying for 10 months so i couldn’t hold it in at all.) We didn’t make it Facebook official until the first ultrasound at 9 weeks and that is when we found out it was twins. That’s also when I found out that I ovulated way late and I had started telling people at 4 weeks along lol.
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This was my second pregnancy, and was planned. Of course I immediately told family. He also told me “I just have to let you know we also do drug tests.” I have never done drugs in my life! Needless to say, I did not see him again, after that initial appointment.
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Selia Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:19 pm (Quote)
The way he says that makes it sound like he was accusing you of drugs! And if so, was he mentioning it so you could “get clean and pass” the thing? Totally odd thing to say.
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Emilee Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:25 pm (Quote)
I was totally taken aback by that comment. The only thing I could think of is that perhaps he got my sister and myself confused. He was once our pcp and does Ob now… She is a recovered addict and this was some time ago. My daughter is now 8 1/2. I just looked him in the eye and said “That’s fine” then immediately scheduled with another doctor when I went out to the waiting room.
Given that I had been trying for 18 months to get pregnant, we were ecstatic and couldn’t wait to share the news.
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Selia Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:31 pm (Quote)
And besides, waiting to tell people is meant for those who don’t want to tell people if it doesn’t work out. If you are the type who would want to talk about it then why wait? We told the closest family and friends, figuring if we had a m/c we’d want to tell them that too, and waited for everyone else. But there is no right or wrong, only personal preference.
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Emilee Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:39 pm (Quote)
Not to mention that we believe that life is created at conception, and our families would want to be there to support us, and mourn along with us if the pregnancy came to an end.
I also get morning sickness around 7 weeks, how would I keep that a secret?
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Allison had this to say,
Jan 2, 2012 @ 5:40 pm (Quote)
So you are saying I can ignore all those not for use in pregnancy labels and drink as much as I want and pay no attention to nutrition, because I’m not pregnant yet? Oh, not what you meant?
Honestly, with both my pregnancies, I told my husband, my mom, and then my boss and infection control nurse at work. Because in my job as a nurse there are some extra precautions I need to take.
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I’m really bad with secrets and was too excited to not say anything. Unfortunatly when the pregnancy ended at 7 weeks all I got were dead baby jokes from family members. (I’m pretty sure I was switched at birth, I don’t know why I’m still civil with these people) So the second time around I waited until 8 weeks, just can’t keep my mouth shut, and the third time I just posted it on facebook, with alot of hide this comment from so and so
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The only explanation I can think of for this is that the doctor meant to say (somehow) that since the possibility of a miscarriage is so high during the first trimester, it might not be advisable to tell everyone you know that you’re pregnant. Then, in case you do miscarry and then have to tell absolutely everyone that no, you’re not pregnant anymore, I can see how telling *that* news might be harder and harder the more people you have to explain it to.
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So there’s no difference in peeing on a popsicle stick and peeing on a pregnancy test until your 12 weeks along?!?!?!
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Oh good! Then you won’t think I’m due till 52 weeks so even if you are the ‘evict them early’ sort I should have plenty of time to go into lab or naturally.
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Eileen Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 3:02 pm Eileen(Quote)
WIN.
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